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I'm 23, a woman and think I have Aspergers

(4 Posts)
HappyVampire3 Fri 27-Jan-17 20:05:50

I'm very typical of high-functioning Aspergers according to the research I've done online. My own mum even broached it with me years ago, saying she suspected (never did anything about it during my childhood, she has her own issues which occupied and still occupy her time above all else but that's another story). My partner of six years is a teacher and had Austism training and when he came home with the materials, we said 'that's me'.

I'm wondering if trying to get diagnosed will help me with life in general or whether it would be a step back considering I'm pretty high-functioning and can pass as just your average Joe (if there is such a thing!)

Quite long... sorry!

A bit about me in general:
I'm very book smart, got excellent grades and did very well at Uni, work in the Civil Service. However, I am very slow at work as I need to do things a certain way and I get very anxious about making mistakes so I have the worst speed of work in my team (but no errors). I have a lovely team leader and manager but I can tell they are thinking that I'm just not good enough as I am too slow.

We are also not allowed to listen to music in a massive open plan office which is awful really, as a million conversations going on all round me means I can't concentrate (the people that can wear headphones have diagnosed/proved reasons such as ASD or ADHD etc.) so it would be a relief if I could listen to music. And people video calling me without warning is anxiety-inducing too.

I don't want people to start thinking I can't do things and not offering me opportunities (wrongly thinking I don't like change - I like change when it's known to me), which I'm sure they will because that is the nature of being diagnosed with something. At the same time, I want them to understand why I don't have the high speed that others have, and why listening to music (piano music) to drown out the open plan office is very calming for me.

I think about the future too; when I have kids, are all the healthcare professionals going to look at my records and think, oh, she's got Aspergers, better watch her? When I'm perfectly capable of looking after children... Or if I want to foster, or get a new job, and it's everywhere, and people judge me on that alone. I want it to open up help/understanding at work, but I don't want it to close doors on me in other areas of my life. My partner thinks I'm best off being self-diagnosed and leaving it at that, but I can't walk up to my manager and say 'I think I've got Aspergers so can we change this...', surely.

Any advice appreciated.

HappyVampire3 Fri 27-Jan-17 20:09:06

Worth mentioning I am rubbish in social situations apart from when with my friends (and I only have three haha) and have a photographic memory. I think these are Aspergers traits.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber Sat 28-Jan-17 19:46:17

Hello vampire there is a fantastic thread in this section you might be intrested in, You are not alone in recognising you have autism and the support thread will be full of people ready to give advice..

Eliza22 Thu 09-Feb-17 18:56:43

You are young still and if I were you I'd seek diagnosis. You might be able to use the earphones at work, for one!

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