ASD and school

[Pinkballoongirl]

Hello, I don't know if this is the right place to post this? My DS is 12, he has 'high functioning' ASD. He is in mainstream education. He's a bright boy but very anxious, he will cry when anxious and hide. He has 20 hours support a week. He's very naive. He was at a very high achieving primary school and was bullied there for quite some time. The school did nothing and this served only to make his anxieties worse. I moved him for the final year, wished I done it sooner but that's another story ..... Just a bit of background, it's probably irrelevant but he's an IVF baby and I waited ten years for him

He's just started secondary school. The school is quite small, about 700 on role. It has an excellent pastoral record. He was petrified of starting and the induction process was quite rocky. But somehow we managed to get four weeks in. He has a keyworker who told me 'email me if you have any questions, nothing is too small ....'

So I took her at her word. I haven't gone over the top, at least I dont think so. Just a few emails. Nothing major.He's kept it together in school and then come home and sobbed, just overwhelming etc. So on Wednesday DS came home, he got through the door and said 'I didn't eat today'. He said he'd been asked to take part in some sort of competition at lunchtime and by the time it had finished the canteen had shut. He didn't know what to do and he's very shy and lacking in confidence so he said nothing. I wasn't sure what to do but at a welcome meeting, the head teacher has said 'tell us if something is bothering your child, no matter how small' so I emailed his keyworker just to say DS hasn't eaten today, he didn't know what to do, for your information. The keyworker replied, basically telling me to piss off, in so many words.

I feel such a fool now. I feel utterly ridiculous.She started asking also lots of questions about how he gets to school for example (I drop him off in the car as its on the way as im already taking my daughter to school, plus DS is really bad at getting organised in the morning, if I drop him off I know he's in, he's refused to walk by himself) The keyworker has now started at him, about walking in by himself, Other parents drop their kids off, what's the big deal?

I'm not joking when I say he's naive, he can't cross a road safely, got no road sense at all, he just walks out in the roads, I've tried to teach him for years .... He still believes in Santa and the tooth fairy. Yet this woman says I need to step back.....

[Meloncoley2]

Secondary school is a big transition, it's a shame if you feel that you and the key worker are not on the same page. Will there be a meeting soon?

As an aside, I hear what you say about your son being naive, but I do think he needs to hear in the not too distant future about Santa and tooth fairy, kindly from you, rather than his secondary peers.