Hi My DS (12) has AS/ADD. The thing that is hardest for him is that any failure, sense of coming up short, mistake, challenging opinion, lost sports bag, confusing behaviour of another child, etc is perceived by him as a failure on his part. He's totally dysregulated emotionally and very rarely does a day pass when he is not berating himself for something, crying, complaining about his bad luck, or indeed having a meltdown. He has no friends at school and doesn't know what to do with himself at break, and so as well of this he is just not happy.
I've been reading online about something called rejection-sensitive dysphoria (yes another acronym) which is typical of ADD. Does anyone know anything about this? We are trying medication but it just doesn't seem to touch it.
Does anyone have any experience of this and things that helped ? Counselling? Working with him on self-regulation but I just feel so bad for him.
This hits home with me I'm 23 y/o woman suspected ASD and this relates very strongly to how I feel about a lot of things. Any tiny notion that somebody is rejecting me makes me deeply sad/terribly angry and I will worry about it for days. Even somebody at work just not saying hello to me (logical reasoning: they were having a bad day/didn't see me) will make me feel awful for hours and hours, worrying/getting angry at them and thinking about what I did that made them reject me.
I can't be much help as I didn't get any I just had to learn it on my own that sometimes negative things happen. I still feel that way, just I try and balance it out logically.
Maybe it would help if you helped him to assess the situation as a logical chain. Eg. The person ignored me because they did not see me and did not know I was talking to them (rather than Joe hates me so he's not talking to me) or the bag got lost turns into... the bag was on the bench - the cleaning staff moved the bag to clean beneath it - the bag was picked up and put in the lost property because it was on the floor (rather than I lost my bag it's all my fault.)
thank you I just saw your message - haven't posted for a while. It's very helpful to think of it in this logical way which would suit DS quite well though he has a tendency to return to the same old thoughts. I guess he will get better at it as he gets older.