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SEN and struggling at university(4 Posts)
Anyone had teething problems with uni? My Ds with social communication difficulties ( similar to ASD) is finding his very high powered engineering degree really tough.
He can't sit through all the lectures so watches some online and some via notes. Doing well in some subjects/modules but others such as coding which he finds so boring is just about passing - could fail exam. He finds the self learning so difficult to adapt to.
He is meeting personal tutor. He has a mentor. About to get peer support but not in Engineering what he really needs.
What really worried him is not making friends on a very large course - 130 students. He has football team colleagues. He has good flatmates who he will share a house with next year but he feels a failure because he can't seem to break into a group on course.
I'm constantly thinking of things to try and help him. Feel so worried that he might fail and wondering about the options.
Does he get DSA support through Student Finance? He can get this amended/updated via the Disability officer at the uni if this would help?
My DD is in year 3 (year abroad of mfl degree). It's very hard isn't it? She has borderline aspergers. It went from school regularly emailing me about missed homework, missing notes, extra help from teachers and help and contact from Sen to friendly conversation when I rang uni support but basically it's not my business now she's over 18, she needs to come for help, which she's too worried to do. She missed a whole exam that she wasn't allowed to retake because she couldn't find the venue and didn't ask. She's made two friends on her course, who are great but on the year abroad (she's just home for a month holiday before returning) she's made no friends, spends all her time in her halls room when not travelling to and from lectures. It's just transpired she's got a phobia of using her shared kitchen and relies on cold food. She's very self contained but I feel she's struggling. It's like a prison sentence for her this year and I think year 4 will be much easier.
Does your son get DSA? I am 22 with Asperger's and I am currently a full-time student, DSA has made a huge difference to my uni life. I especially would tell your son though not to worry about not having a 'group' on his course. If he has other friends elsewhere then that's good and it's not really necessary to have 'friends' everywhere, I mean how many 'friends' do people really have? I know I find it hard to make friends too but I think as long as you have a few it doesn't really matter how you met them or whether or not they are on your course etc. Although I may be biased because I only ever made one friend on my course (and even then not a close one) and then I had to suspend my studies for health reasons which put me in the cohort below her. But I have other friends through student activities etc so I don't really care.
Also, this is super intrusive and feel free not to take me up on this offer but I genuinely wouldn't mind sort of getting in touch with him via e-mail or something with him if he might find that useful, I know uni and nhs support systems well.
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