Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Unhappy with residential placement

(45 Posts)
chinax Fri 11-Feb-11 11:57:03

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coldtits Fri 11-Feb-11 12:00:15

does your daughter have a social worker?

You need to speak to your own daughter's social worker, as the ones who are vaguely in charge of disability services have their interest firmly wedged in keeping that home open. It's cheaper than providing proper care.

I hope you get some more advice as I have no experience of this situation

chinax Fri 11-Feb-11 12:03:16

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coldtits Fri 11-Feb-11 12:04:33

try this group

chinax Fri 11-Feb-11 12:22:31

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bittersweetvictory Fri 11-Feb-11 18:12:05

Hi chinax, this is terrible, no wonder you are feeling desperate, your daughter getting assaulted is very serious, are the police involved because they should be, were there witneses ?
my son is 17 and ASD but high funtioning so stays at home and goes to college but i have had my own battles with SS for years so know where you are coming from, they think they are above the law, i passed him over to adult services so i would get a new SW because the one from childrens services was rubbish and tried to patronise me even though she was younger and had no kids grrr, the one i was assigned from adult services was even worse so i went above her head to her team leader and complained straight to him and got a new one, i am now probably branded a trouble maker but i dont care, i dont need them to like me, only to do their job so is it possible for you to go above your SS head ?
I have also in the past threatened to go to the newspapers and expose their corrupt incompitence, ( dont know if i would have actually have done it but the threat got me results )
have you contacted your local mp to tell them of your concerns ? citizens advise bureau may be able to help, i wish i could be more help but that seems like a good site coldtits has directed you too, i have seen SS lying through their teeth so dont let it get to you, you know the lies are not true, i hope you get the help you need.

WetAugust Fri 11-Feb-11 19:00:24

If she's been assaulted - call the Police.

Residential homes are covered by the Care Commission?? - they inspect them and you should report your concerns to them. Also, to the Safeguarding Children Team within the LA both in the local area of the school and your own local area.

chinax Sat 12-Feb-11 05:03:15

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bittersweetvictory Sat 12-Feb-11 11:07:17

I still think you should involve the police regards your daughters assault, if the other student is deemed not responsible for his actions the staff who are supervising are to blame, and at least it would be logged with police as an incident even if it goes no further and might stop it happening in future, im glad you have been pointed in the right direction by CA but this centre should be under investigation as the staff sound horrible and not very well trained, if you need more advice you could try posting on the main SN childrens board as there is a lot more ladies on there with more experience.
Hope you get the help and support you need and get a new SS, keep fighting.

chinax Sat 12-Feb-11 13:53:14

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bittersweetvictory Sat 12-Feb-11 15:35:21

I know that lonely place you are talking about, i have been there, seen the video, bought the T shirt etc, every thing is going fine at the moment but i have had to fight for years to get to this point, and had to put son on medication for anxiety,
when i mentioned medication to my sons SW she said in a patronising voice " we dont drug the disabled nowadays " which made me feel like crap, but luckily head of SN at college brought up the subject again and son is now on a very low dose of anti anxiety meds which has made things a lot easier so i fired off an email to SW telling her EXACTLY what i thought of her. ( made me feel a lot better )
Regarding the allegations against your hubby, this is slander, have you seen a soliciter.
I know what you mean about it sounding far fetched to some people, the only time you hear about it is when someone is so desperate that they contact the press and some people find the subject of disability uncomfortable so pretend it doesnt exist ( i have encountered this from members of my own family )
I know it must be awfull for you and your hubby at the moment but things WILL get sorted, you just have to find that extra bit of strength to keep fighting, at the end of the day it doesnt matter what ignorent SW and useless care home staff think of you, as long as they do the job they are overpaid for ( especially SS ) you know whats best for your own child despite what anyone else says.
If your letter doesnt come in chase it up as the SS motto is " promise lots, deliver little "

chinax Sat 12-Feb-11 23:29:09

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bittersweetvictory Sun 13-Feb-11 11:18:22

Good that you are intending to report them and speak to a solicitor and i can understand why you have to get your daughter settled first,
SS SHOULD be answering all your questions but there are so many SW nowadays that dont know the answers because they dont bother to find out, there are good SW out there, its just finding one thats the problem.
I suspect that they treat the parents who are offhand with them better because they are probably more afraid and wary of them, i used to be a mild mannered person who accepted every thing but since my struggles with LA ans SS i have toughened up and now question every thing they do and ask for it in writing, i would probably be considered offhand with them but it gets better results, perhaps its time to stop being nice to them, ( it may not be in your nature but desperate times need desperate measures )perhaps the parents who are offhand know through experience that being nice and accepting gets you nowhere and the only way to get results is to be offhand.
Have you sussed out if there are any other care homes suitable for your daughter in your area and is the place she is at just for people up to a certain age until they become adults ?
Im in Scotland so not sure of some English laws but im sure SS would have to find her another placement if she is violent etc, as it is obvious she cannot live at home, have you been to see your GP, he/she might be able to give you advice and help you to cope through this awfull time, i would also advise you to post on the main childrens SN board as there is a lot more ladies than on this one who could point you in the right direction, ( have a read of some of the threads on the childrens SN board and you will see how " in the know " they are )

chinax Sun 13-Feb-11 17:07:04

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chinax Sun 13-Feb-11 17:16:12

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chinax Sun 13-Feb-11 17:16:59

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bittersweetvictory Sun 13-Feb-11 18:10:37

Not mad at all chinax, just a normal worried parent who wants to do best for their child, im really glad you have found someone to help and someone to liaise with centre sounds like a good idea, in fact the more people involved the better to show them that you mean business but try to get everything in writing as things promised seem to have a habit of being forgoten, ( I know this through experience )leave a paper trail or email trail so you can refer back to anything that was promised and does not happen.
The main SN childrens board is always a lot busier than this one and full of ladies with a large range of experiences who have been fighting the system for years on behalf of their children so you are far from alone.

chinax Sun 13-Feb-11 18:34:14

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bittersweetvictory Sun 13-Feb-11 18:49:28

No problem chinax and good luck, im happy to see you are sounding a lot more positive smile
yes, update as it will be helpfull to others and just remember that whatever any so called expert says YOU know whats best for your own child so dont take any crap from SS.

Davros Sun 20-Feb-11 22:25:29

I am full of admiration for you, I hope you get things sorted. You may find The Challenging Behaviour Foundation useful www.thecbf.org.uk
Our son with severe ASD is nearly 16 and we have just applied to increase his placement from 44 weeks to 52 and, although I know that residential has been the right thing for him, I do have some reservations about our plae in his life once he goes 52 weeks.

chinax Sun 27-Feb-11 00:03:43

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bittersweetvictory Sun 27-Feb-11 11:02:07

Thats great news Chinax, glad to hear SS are now working with you, your DD probably does sense that something is going but its definitely for the best all round that she leaves that awfull place, not only for her sake but for yourself and your DH, i really hope one of the other places is suitable and i will be keeping everything crossed for you smile please let us know how you get on.

chinax Sat 09-Apr-11 16:17:47

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bittersweetvictory Sun 10-Apr-11 19:42:45

Really happy for you Chinax grin it must be a great relief for you and your DH after all the hassle you've been through, New house, new staff and nearer to you smile
Great that staff are getting to know your DD before the move, im sure she will be very happy there.

chinax Mon 30-May-11 15:51:21

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