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I’m struggling

(3 Posts)
Thumpa06 Sat 11-May-19 13:42:16

I’m not even sure if I’m posting this in the correct place. I have found recently that I am really struggling and I know that it is mainly based around worries for my son. He is dyslexic, hates school, struggles academically, and has little to no friends. He has recently been seen by a counsellor at school and I have a referral to a paediatrician next month.

I am so worried for him. He is constantly on my mind. I am generally over thinking things and worrying about his future. I worry have he won’t pass any GCSE’s, I worry that he has traits of depression, I worry that he will never have partner or family of his own, I worry that he won’t have a career, I worry that he will live at home forever.

He has low self esteem, has suffered at the hands of bullies on and off. If I was to describe him I would say he is a quiet boy, who is overly sensitive, a loner who wants to have friends but just doesn’t mix well, he has low self esteem, suffers with frustration, but is extremely nice natured.

He is different to other children, but I can’t pin point why. My family say he is quirky, unique, one of a kind. But nobody can say why they think that.

Today I have been tearful just because a younger family member went to a local fair with school friends. And I’m upset that he’ll never do this.....I need to get a grip he doesn’t even like the fair, so why am I upset about something he doesn’t even want to go to anyway. But after hearing this I cried in my car all the way home. Get a grip!

I often talk to a couple of friends at work about him who are very supportive, trusting friends. Recently one of them has mentioned to me that maybe he has learnt to cope and that it’s me that is struggling to cope with the way he is. I’m not sure if this is right, or has she hit the nail on the head.

The counselling at school. He doesn’t even realise that it’s a counsellor. He thinks it’s a lady who comes to talk to children who have experienced bullying. I’ve not even told him about the paediatric referral because I don’t know what to explain it to him. The school referred him for this as I told them I was worried about him socially, told them I knew he was different but didn’t know why. So they suggested the referral and said let’s find out why, is there a reason he’s different that we haven’t addressed. I mentioned the depression traits and the teacher touched on the subject that there is a fine line between depression traits and autism. I am worried that during the appointment I will break down in front of him. Which makes me think is it me that needs the help, as well as him.

stucknoue Sat 18-May-19 21:46:25

I'm never sure if relaying our experience helps but hopefully.... dd2 is dyslexic, diagnosed at 6 so young, her year 6 sats were a nightmare, well she got a 5 in maths actually but a 2 in her English. She started to make improvements in year 8, it was like she started to finally get how words are constructed and towards the end of year 9 she finished remedial English lessons (which she hated because they clashed with football). She got a 6 amazingly at gcse English and is studying for 4 a levels (none English!) all sciences. We really thought at your dc's age that scraping the 4 GCSEs needed for catering college (her original choice of career) would be a struggle, she just got it and I hope that will be the case for you too, it's not too late.

Nagabagasaurus Mon 16-Sep-19 18:35:36

Bless you. You are describing my son!! James was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome aged 9 and life has been a struggle for both of us... I have been a single parent since he was 13. However there is light at the end of the tunnel. He lives alone now, has girlfriends a d a full social life. He has support each week but thrives. It has not been easy and life will always be a challenge but he is achieving... GCSEs came in his twenties. He has made me a better person. I have found that it easier to accept his eccentricity and try to adapt to his way, which is always logical but just different. There is lots of help out there but you have to be gobby and fight for things. Please know there are always folk to help. Nature has given you someone unique for a reason. Lots of love xxx

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