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8 year old son anxiety issues and not eating, worried to death

(2 Posts)
Ilovemyhamster22 Fri 04-Jan-19 15:31:53

Hello, never posted before, always been a lurker , not sure if I'm even in the right section. I have 3 children, middle one is the one I'm worried about. He's 8, 9 in August. At the start of December he was eating a home made slush and accidentally swallowed a piece of ice, he immediately went into a blind panic thinking he was choking even though the ice went straight down. Reassured him that everything was fine and eventually he calmed down. However he then started to cut cut certain foods over the next week or 2 till this point now where he's eating virtually nothing, he's narrowd it down to 'safe foods' custard/chocolate milk shake/thin lindt choc figures, and couple other easily eaten things, and they take him ages to eat, he's holding food in his mouth for up to a minute and makng it very watery before he well swallow. He's lost 7 pounds in the last month and was already a thin kid so now he looks poorly and is exhausted all the time/having melt downs etc. Up until this point he's always been a fabulous eater and ate several meals a day. He's also become fixated with death and asking lots of questions about it, to which I try to answer honestly but at a level he can understand and so as not to fuel his worries, he's also not sleeping till midnight most nights and is in my bed. He's just acting very anxious generally all of the time.
We have been to the gp twice who have sent a referral for a CAMS assessment which is taking ages, and I've contacted a local privately run charity for children with anxiety and related issues, who offered some advice but not heard anything since, and it's very frustrating at this point that it seems impossible to get any outside help. Now a bit of background on my son, in hindsight I think he's always had sensory issues, he was very very clumsy as a baby/toddler with lack of spacial awareness, although he is better this now he's still consider than your average kid. He also can't dress himself well or tie laces etc, it takes him a long time to get dressed and needs guiding through it, which his teachers do at school for PE. He has had aversion to metal for as long as I can remember, since he held a handful of pennies in his hand at prob aged 2, and didn't like the smell afterwards, so now I can't buy him clothes with zips or buttons, I have to buy all his school uniforms with elasticated waists etc, he refuses to wear a coat full stop and so he wears a hoodie instead, won't use knife and fork etc, there are other 'odd' behaviours which I won't list. His teachers started to raise concerns about his behaviours and quirks in year 1, and he's since been put on the SEN register for emotional needs. Academically he's fine, quite good at maths, not that great with english, very good at art, good at topic, listens well, although appears away with the fairies to look at him. Finds it very hard to form and maintain friendships as lacks social skills, doesn't like anyone to laugh at him but quite happy to laugh at others so he has a sense of humour so long as he's not at the but of anyone's jokes, very sensitive if he is and can't deal with it, but otherwise can be as daft as any kid his age. He has one friend at a time that he feels comfortable with and won't talk up in school unless this particular friend is with him, his longest lasting friendship is the one he has now and he's very understanding of his quirks. He's very lacking in confidence and and has low self esteem, think this stems from him having hearing issues as a toddler which affected his speech which used to attract negative comments from people, however he speaks very clearly now. He's also quite young in many ways in his behaviour. He's very clingy to me and had to be dragged off me when he started school, literally, and this lasted until mid reception when he seemed to accept going in but he's never liked school. Ile finish this post now and hope anyone can offer some advice, I'm feeling very desperate to get some help, mainly to address the eating problem initially to prevent him becomin gvv poorly from this, and just don't know where to turn next. Any insight into his other behaviours would be great. If you have read till the end, thanks for taking the time.

Relightmyfire2017 Fri 01-Mar-19 07:23:23

Hi
I am so sorry that you haven't had any advice yet.
I came across your post purely by chance this morning.
Aside from the aversion to metal you have described my son to the letter! He has all of the issues that your child has.
The first thing you need to know is that the majority of the things you've talked about are more common than you think in children with autism.
I suspect that the lack of support is because they attend a mainstream school and this makes me angry as when my son started reception (his separation anxiety was so bad I was asked to remove him from 2 different nurseries) the school struggled to support him and the majority of other parents treated us like a pariah.
He is soon to be 13 and has attended specialist provision since he was 6.
I am battling to get my son ready for school then going to work but I will message you again later if that's ok?

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