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Making a will

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clpsmum Mon 10-Jun-19 21:35:25

I live away from my family and am now a single parent to three gorgeous boys one of which has SN. I want to make a will for piece of mind but have just realised I have no idea what will happen to my lovely boy if anything happens to me. Not sure what I want anybody to do just wondered if anybody had been in this situation?

OP’s posts: |
maxelly Tue 11-Jun-19 14:20:24

Hi OP, I don't have too much experience but didn't want you to have no replies. It is definitely a really good idea to make a will and look now at what measures you can put in place to make sure your DC are financially and practically looked after in the event of your death or serious illness. There is a MNetter called @mumblechum who is an online will writer, if you PM her I am sure she will give you a quote to make a will, or of course you can go to a local solicitor. The cost of employing a professional is worth it IMO to make sure everything is sorted. Good advice also on the MoneyAdviceService website, I'd advise having a look.

Do you currently have life insurance, critical illness cover or any death in service benefits provided through a work pension scheme? Obviously I don't know your financial circumstances but particularly as one of your DC has SN it seems important (within your means) that you look at investing in some level of cover.

Wrt to what would happen to your DC in the event of your death, it depends a bit. Is their father in the picture and does he have parental rights (were you married to him and/or is he named on their birth certificates?). If he does have parental rights then it's not a given that they would have to go and live with him but he would have to consent to any arrangements made for their care, so for instance if you wanted them to live with your parents or other family members but he didn't agree to that things could get messy. In the event that there was no-one with parental responsibilities and the guardians you had named in a will were unable or unwilling to take the children in, the state/social workers would have to find a suitable home for the children, your family or their father's family would be the preference over state care. Whatever your particular circumstances, it is very much worth making your wishes about guardianship and arrangements for the children clear in your will (this can go in I think as a separate letter of wishes so you can update it as and when circumstances change without having to change the whole will). You should also make the relevant people (i.e. the people you would want the children to go and live with) aware now that that is what you would want in the (highly unlikely) event of anything bad happening - including the father of the children if you have enough of a relationship that you can talk to him about this of course.

You would also want to have a think about how your DC with SN might be looked after into adulthood if and when you are no longer around, I have a young adult cousin with SN and his parents have arranged to leave him his share of inheritance 'in trust' with appropriate family trustees to manage the money for him as he is vulnerable and not able to look after his own finances. They are also planning for a gradual transition into suitable independent/supported accommodation (he has always lived at home) so that when the times comes and they are no longer able to care for him, nothing happens suddenly or unplanned. This might be a long way down the line for you but something to think about in due course...

clpsmum Tue 11-Jun-19 19:14:37

Thank you so much for your reply and for your advice it really has helped a lot. I will contact @mumblechum if I can work out how to do it and get a quote to start the ball rolling. Thank you again for taking the time to reply it's greatly appreciated smile

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