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My DH has asked me to apply for PIP/ESA

(17 Posts)
Justforthisposttoday Sat 02-Sep-17 14:13:51

Name changer for obvious reasons. Please do not out me if you recognize who I am

My DH has asked me to apply for financial help.

The main issue is that I have a bowel incontinence issue which is classed as a disability but it flares from being semi uncontrolled with medicine to being house bound. I have asked to be referred back to consultant to see if a better treatment is available (but peers say I am on the best stuff and at maximum dose)

I have got moderate obstructive sleep apnoea which affects my memory and I am very tired during the day. But under treatment and consultant atm. Waiting to hear if I will keep my driving licence. sad

I also am deaf in one ear and wear a hearing aid on the other. Which doesn't affect me much, except I have some difficulties in noisy environments and coping on the phone but I do some lipreading so it isn't a big deal.

I also have tinnitus which apart from driving me nuts at time. Isn't relevant I don't think. Just for completeness.

I am currently at home with the children. Aiming to return to work in next year but very unsure what work I could take on with my current bowel problems.

Just to give you an idea how quickly my problem can come on. I had to pause writing this post and dash to our only toilet. I had 40 seconds between needing the toilet and poo. On bad days I have accidents in my own home. Because we have many people here and only one upstairs toilet it is a big problem for me.

I have trouble food shopping in person, as the shops are too big and I get too far away from the toilet at the far corner. I can't afford to pay for food delivery weekly buy when I am house bound I have no choice and end up with £4/6 less food that week.

I have problems getting kids to school, the school allow me to come late and park on their carpark when I need too. I hate the children being late. Friends have said they will help. But I have a 40 minute toilet emptying in the morning whilst waiting for my morning pills to kick in and I don't know until 8.30am whether it is going to be possible to walk them or not. Too late too ring for I drive in.

I worry about looking for work next year. I always carry wipes and a spare outfit. But on a bad day I could need several. Will people understand and let me drop everything and run when I have too.

I am very worried as my problems mean I can not cleanly use public transport. Nothing holds in liquid poo sad If I lose my licence because of the sleep apnoea, I don't know what I will do.

I also unofficially (not via doctors) suffer from anxiety and over worrying at all times which does not help. Especially if I can't see an empty unlocked toilet. The further away I am the worse I worry which makes my bowel complaint so much worse. But I can't stop worrying.

My husband asked me to apply for pip/esa as I am struggling so much and I should do.

Should I ?

I feel, I should just man up and get on with things, as there are many people in much worse situations than me.

Polter Sat 02-Sep-17 18:04:34

Yes, you absolutely should apply for PIP. The benefits and work site is apparently very good.

I don't know how ESA works but the B&W site should help.

Justforthisposttoday Sat 02-Sep-17 18:36:49

Thanks. I still feel like a faker sad

Polter Sat 02-Sep-17 19:15:32

Read it back to yourself and imagine it's someone asking you what they should do.

Get some help and do it.


Justforthisposttoday Sat 02-Sep-17 20:33:41

I know, if it was someone else..I would say...go for it.

But I have good days too and that is what makes me think twice.

Pretty sure I won't meet any critera as it is much stricter the Internet says. So I can see what they say.

Polter Sat 02-Sep-17 22:13:39

You have nothing to lose by applying.

Justforthisposttoday Sat 02-Sep-17 23:17:48

True. Can't be more embarrassing than my illness.

MynewnameisKy Sun 03-Sep-17 22:40:21

You will get some help here

pip guide for people with bowel issues.


Justforthisposttoday Mon 04-Sep-17 21:12:09

Thank you. I have saved that guide.

Ellie56 Tue 12-Sep-17 19:36:00

You absolutely should apply for PIP. You tell them how it is on the worst days.Do not try to minimise anything. Focus on the difficulties and the help you need (even if you don't actually get the help you need). Please don't think you are a faker. You are not.

These are the descriptors:

And submit any medical reports/doctors' letters you have as evidence.
It may be worth going to your doctor and putting your anxiety on medical record so you have evidence of it as it may help you get extra points.
Good luck.

FuckitAndStartAgain Fri 15-Sep-17 16:51:49

I have just been turned down for PIP and am preparing a request for mandatory reconsideration. One of my issues being bowel incontinence. (thanks for the Crohns guide mynewname).

Of course you should get PIP justforthis! PIP is the only benefit you can keep if at some point you want to try some voluntary or part time work. This means you can afford to try without losing hard won benefits. It also means that some things might be easier, you might be able to access some further help, maybe with a downstairs loo? This is a bit far fetched in the current climate but I am trying to be optimistic.

However, the processs is horrible, especially if you already feel anxious a lot of the time. So be warned and be assured that it is the process not you when you feel daft as you can't work out how to answers a question! Benefits and Work are a good website, CAB can be great. They are many that require a subscription or charge. I have some examples of model applications etc. I am really happy to help if I can, just pm me.

Good luck. This is a game with unclear rules please do not hesitate to seek help.

Justforthisposttoday Tue 28-Nov-17 12:59:12

I have an PIP Assessment meeting this week. The letter never arrived, I got a text mentioning an appointment tomorrow...which set me into a tail spin.

I told them I can't leave the house in the morning, they had given me an 8am appointment !

I rang up and asked begged for a home visit but they wouldn't do it. They did agree to refund me £30 in order to get a taxi door to door (and back).

I spoke to the building check out the toilets they only have two cubicals and one disabled but no lock. So any one can use it angry

They are on the 6th floor and two turns to reach reception and toilets. I asked the receptionist to check and there are NO toilets on the ground floor.

So I have to dash in, wait for a lift and dash around two corners until I an near a toilet. I am not going to make it, am I. sad

I will take extra imodium tablets in the morning they sometimes bung me up for a day (extra cramps, painful bowel movements over the next few days usually ending up with anal fissures but doable)

I am dreading it. Everyone says they turn you down for this kind of issue and first time applicates. I am ringing an friend whose friend did get PIP for IBS issues locally. Hopefully to see what they said and if that applies to me of not.

I feel sick with worry already. Off to type a to do list for the morning of the assessment. sad

Any pointers would be appreciated.

Justforthisposttoday Tue 28-Nov-17 13:02:03

I rearranged the appointment for later in the week and in the afternoon when I have a chance of leaving the house.

Going to have to take carrier bag and towel to sit on in the taxi...just in case I have embarrassing. I have booked the taxi company the assessors recommend.I thought they would be more use to people with problems travelling with them.

Justforthisposttoday Thu 30-Nov-17 21:53:34

It is done. I don't think I will get enough points to qualify for any help but at least I tried. Off to claim my taxi fare back and then try and forget about it for a while.

Justforthisposttoday Fri 15-Dec-17 14:26:01

I haven't seen any letters but I got a payment labelled PIP into my bank today ! I assume that means my claim was successful ?

Thank you to PP for posting the helpful guides and telling to apply. Stupidly seeing the payment made me so sad...I would swap every penny to be healthy again sad

But on the bright side the money will pay for a number of small aids which will make my life easier and that is a blessing.

Thank you flowers

BikingBeatrix Sat 20-Jan-18 18:08:13

My first time on this board though on MN for years. I am glad you got your PIP. It should improve things for you.

PixieDust100 Fri 23-Mar-18 21:56:39

Glad you got your pip award!

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