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Has anyone ever regretted taking their dc out of MS into specialist?

(33 Posts)
llmb Wed 10-Jan-18 18:16:38

My ds is in year 7 and currently out of school completely. He can’t cope with it: no surprise, I knew it would go this way. He has high functioning autism and dyslexia. He doesn’t have an ehcp (long story) but I’m about to apply for this. I want to get him out and into a particular private school specifically for autism and dyslexia but this will prove difficult to get.

Our senco thinks that’s the worse thing for ds. He says he School I want will fail ds and that the curriculum is crap and he won’t get support and he won’t get anywhere. My argument is I would rather he was happy?l, safe and actually at school and only get a few gcse’s Rather than being in MS and fail completely...... senco says he knows families that have fought for this school and then regretted it.

I know a couple of mums who’s dc are at this school I want my ds to go and they think it’s great.

Please can you share your experimences if taking your dc out of MS and into specialist School?

ofcoursehesthefuckingfarmer Thu 11-Jan-18 22:37:47

No advice but we're in the same boat.
It's a big decision isn't it?

llmb Fri 12-Jan-18 16:04:35


Anyone about?

Ellie56 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:20:31

Don't listen to the SENCO. It's not his son that's missing out on his education. Mainstream secondary schools are often just too big and too busy for students on the autistic spectrum.

Our son went to mainstream school up to the age of 16. Then he went to mainstream FE. The first year was ok, then it all went downhill and during the last year relations broke down completely.

He was out of education for a year. He's now in a specialist FE college for students on the autistic spectrum, making outstanding progress and is really happy.

Everything is very calm there.The classes are smaller and quieter. The students are allowed to have breaks if they need them. Therapy and counselling are provided on site. And probably the most important thing is the staff all understand about autism because they have been trained and have the experience.

I found the majority of problems in mainstream arise because staff don't understand about autism, expect your child to fit in everyone else and half the time aren't interested when you try to explain the difficulties.

I sometimes wonder if DS would have been better having specialist education earlier.

Are you looking at the Priory Group?

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 07:31:13

Thanks for replying ellie. No there are 2 I want to go and look at but are independent (that’s what the senco has a problem with as they don’t follow the curriculum etc) I just want him in someone he’s happy, attending and to me his education comes second! I’m worried about fighting for an ehcp, managing to get one and abetting him into either of the ones I want to look at and then regretting it! I’m sure I won’t, I’m just panicking. Iv got to go through the process of seeing if I can get legal aid to see if I can get help that way as I know I will end up going to tribunal!

gatorgolf Sun 14-Jan-18 09:18:01

If he's not actually at school at all at the minute not sure how it could be any worse. You try the independent, worst case senior it doesn't work out and you're back to where you started but without trying you are there anyway! Hopefully it will work out.

gatorgolf Sun 14-Jan-18 09:18:35

Worst case scenario that should say

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 09:41:43

Yes that is my opinion! How easy is it to move schools when you have an ehcp does any one know? Not that I plan to move him once we have a place, just what happens if that School doesn’t work?

gatorgolf Sun 14-Jan-18 09:54:12

My son just got an ehcp in mainstream and I'm already thinking about changing to specialist. The process is that you ask for an early review of the ehcp. How long it takes I do not know but I would imagine it's quicker going from specialist into mainstream than the other way round as the other way they try to put you off as it's more expensive

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 11:07:19

Yes that was what I was thinking. The situation is really getting me down. I just wish they would sort it out! He’s needed an ehcp for how whole of his education. I tried in year 5 but was told they won’t assess as he wasn’t in school... I didn’t know that was wrong at the time! Iv told his secondary/senco he has until end of the month and if he hasn’t done the application I will. I’m trying to get myself armed and ready.

jigster01 Sun 14-Jan-18 12:39:31

DS went to specialist residential school for s&l needs at 11 as he could not learn at ms ..biggest, hardest decision ever but also the BEST ...stayed on until yr12 sixth form with learning at a local college local to the school ..he is now home and now 'yr14' if you like at our local college, a happy confident young man with friends .It was a very difficult time ,but he was not learning (could not follow complex,long, conversations and the general hub bub going on around )his self esteem was rock bottom also ..had some friends but we knew he would collapse and fail in ms secondary and this was confirmed by the professionals at the time ..

Ellie56 Sun 14-Jan-18 14:32:10

limb find out about all the special schools in the area and out of area. Then go and visit the ones that sound most promising. I must have rung nearly 20 places and we actually visited 3. We knew straight away when we'd found the right one and so did our son.

It's 160 miles away from home and we had a huge battle with the LA but it's so so worth it.

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 15:06:23

What classes as ‘out of the area’? I don’t want him too far as a long journey wouldn’t suit him and I wouldn’t want him boarding.

jigster01 Sun 14-Jan-18 15:31:25

Agree with Ellie visit as many schools as possible ..we were completely shocked when the resi school was mentioned as we certainly were not looking at that as also around 80 miles away ..BUT he was surrounded by children who had the same needs as himself ,he came home and said after his tester days " mum they are like me " well I will never forget him saying that ...3 professionals that we employed to get a better 'statement' all said this school was needed as therapy etc on site and nothing nearer ...the only reason he is a confident , strong young man is because of this school .You may be lucky and have one very very near but we didn't have that option.We wanted what was best for him and if resi was the best shot we were willing to give it a try ..good luck

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 16:43:21

The 2 I want to look at are about 20-25 minutes away in different directions. There’s no point looking now as application still hasn’t gone in let alone are they assessing him yet. I don’t want to get my hopes up or get ds excited yet..

Ellie56 Sun 14-Jan-18 17:39:48

Out of area is either outside your local authority or outside the Local Offer. While you're waiting for the EHC needs assessment you can be researching what provision is out there. Then you have all the information to hand when you are asked to name the school you want.

llmb Sun 14-Jan-18 20:13:36

How much of a say do I get? His Ms say they can meet his needs with an ina, will this work against me wanting to take him out?

Ellie56 Sun 14-Jan-18 23:17:48

I thought you said your son was already out of school?

What is an ina?

llmb Mon 15-Jan-18 06:24:13

He is at home but because he won’t go, he’s still on roll with them.

Ina- individual needs assistant.

Ellie56 Mon 15-Jan-18 12:25:55

When DS was in school did he have an ina then? What other support did they put in place? Why is DS refusing to go now?

llmb Mon 15-Jan-18 12:52:00

No he’s never had an ina. He can’t cope with secondary school so won’t go at all now. He was out all of year 5, a lot of year 6. He can’t cope with the day to day life of mainstream secondary school.

They had him on a reduced timetable. He’s never been full time at secondary. He couldn’t cope with the uniform so wasn’t wearing it but kids were taking the mick out of him for ‘being wierd’ and ‘different’. They let him spend the first hour in asd unit to do homework etc. There isn’t anything else they can do as he’s not there. We’ve just had agreed, someone from the local authority to come for e-learning but 2 hours a week.

His anxiety is so bad he is on medication.

Ellie56 Mon 15-Jan-18 20:24:44

His needs sound very complex and whoever thinks that just giving him an ina will fix the issues, needs their head testing.

He clearly can't cope with the actual environment of mainstream school. Secondary schools are big, very busy, noisy and confusing. He would probably be much better in a calmer, quieter environment where classes are smaller.

Apply for an EHC Needs assessment now limb. Your son can't afford to lose any more time out of education. All the information you need is here:

llmb Tue 16-Jan-18 06:41:29

Thank you ellie it’s exactly that, 2,000 students, plus teachers and staff = aLOT of people!

Yes the senco things he needs the highest level he can get on an ehcp, but that with a 1:1 with him all the time he would be thrive and be able to access everything hmm

Ellie56 Tue 16-Jan-18 11:50:22

As DS had an EP assessment yet?

llmb Tue 16-Jan-18 14:45:39

Yes he had one done last summer at end of primary (mainly due to help with the translation to secondary) it’s not particularly thorough though.

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