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Bit of a vent & request for tips/resources

(1 Post)
mumonashoestring Wed 19-Oct-16 13:58:47

DS did a year of nursery last year, absolutely loved it and his social skills, vocabulary etc. expanded fantasically, but the school shared our concerns about a few behavioural tics and tendencies and arranged to have him assessed. The SENCo called us in for a meeting, went through the Ed Psych's report with us and told us that referring DS via the GP would be slow and probably unsuccessful and it was much better to handle it through the school. She then gave us a long form to complete for referral via PCAMHS. A few weeks later we received a letter from PCAMHS saying that they didn't handle referrals for children in his age bracket, never had, wrong referral route etc. We called the SENCo, no reply. This continued until DH (SAHD so has more contact with the school than me) managed to physically track down the SENCo at the school, at which point she said it was the Ed Psych's fault for giving her the wrong referral route.

Is it utterly unreasonable of me to think she should know referral routes for children in the age groups the school handles?

Since then she's done nothing, had no useful contact with us (DS has moved up into reception with the same teacher and much of the same class. DH has seen our GP, passed on a copy of the Ed Psych's report and got the referral process started that way) - until this week when she suddenly a) rang to say she'd arranged a second assessment that day, with no warning or notice to us as DS's parents (and on a day when he happened to be off sick), and b) requested a meeting to discuss DS's "anxiety issues". The school haven't mentioned DS having anxiety issues at school before now and we're completely confused as to what we're supposed to be doing, whether he's in the right place, and frankly it's starting to sound like their primary concern is using DS as a source of extra income/resource for a class that has a few 'challenging' children in it.

Today? DH got a phone call from the class teacher asking him to come and take DS home as he was not settling, upset, screaming, refusing to do anything etc. and the teacher is still giving him her best Daily Mail sadface and wittering on about needing extra resources whilst the school apparently have no idea how to go about getting them put in place.

tl;dr version: If anyone has any tips about how to manage anxiety in a child who may or may not be ASD, how to speed along a GP-led referral, or how to persuade a SENCo to do more than the bare minimum I'd love to hear them. It'll give me something to read while tearing my hair out grin

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