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Rant alert!

(11 Posts)
Monkey7373 Fri 18-Mar-16 20:08:33

Hi there, I think I am literally going crazy! My son is 5, nearly six and is struggling at school. He is in yr 1 and the whole thing is a very long story but basically it was picked up in reception that he was struggling. Since then we have seen gp, and two paediatricians over the space of a year and have got no further. We just keep getting asked the same questions and given questionnaires to fill out...The school don't seem overly worried so maybe I shouldn't? But everything I read is about early intervention and if you wait until the problem is really serious then it's too late! Does the school need an official diagnosis to offer more support? Or should they be pursuing their internal resources and assessing through senco? Or should I consider that if they are not concerned then maybe his development is not being hindered by his traits? Really stuck with who I should be chasing and what I should be leaving to the school?

Happygoluckyy Wed 23-Mar-16 11:01:49

First off get a cuppa and calm down, its a shame no ones replied yet so i'll try my best to help! smile
If he's struggling he needs support, whether you need to reinforce what he learns at school when he's home or it's something else.
What's he struggling with? Is it making friends or just academically? Also you say diagnosis what do you think he should be diagnosed with exactly?blush
If you're worried you should ask to speak to the senco.

Monkey7373 Wed 23-Mar-16 20:09:51

Thanks Happygoluckyy, someone did reply but it seems to have gone now...they asked what kinds of things he struggles with and this was my reply. ..
'Neither of the peads we have seen said anything really, the first asked us a bunch of questions, drew a couple of dinosaurs with DS and made a paper aeroplane for him then sent us off with a questionnaire which they also sent to the school, that was in October. We then had what we thought was going to be a follow up to the first appointment but it seemed to be the same thing, a load of questions then giving us two questionnaires which also went to the school with another follow up in a few husband actually got quiet angry with the guy at one point as we expressed concern about his hearing, the pead then did a very unscientific test and said there was no problem...the whole appointment threw us a bit and we probably weren't forceful enough in asking the right questions. I am sure he should have been observed at school by now? Who refers to an ed psyc, the pead or the school?

DS has changed class since the first concerns were raised by the school and has also become more confident in himself. He didn't voluntarily speak to a single teacher in the first 10 months of reception but will now as he is more comfortable. We are not getting much from his current teacher about whether he is concerned or not, they seem so afraid to compare to the other children these days but they are surely best placed to assess. As he is not disruptive in class it feels a bit like 'well there is only one more term left in this class now anyway so not much will change now' without us really knowing if he is achieving to the best of his ability or not and what support could help him, if any.

My best description of him is that he is a bright lad who is socially awkward, a big daydreamer and has co-ordination and slight pronunciation difficulties. The list goes on but the focus and speed of his work would be the main things he is struggling with at school. 'Come on XXXX, hurry up' is the most used phrase at home and I suspect at school too!'

I don't really know about what, if anything, he should be diagnosed with as wanted to see what the professionals said. Asd and auditory processing disorder have both come up as possibilities though. It's really difficult to know what the school think as they don't seem too worried at the moment or at least haven't arranged anything themselves in terms of Ed psyc etc. Last year his teacher seemed to be on the same page as me but his new doesn't seem to be.

AugustaFinkNottle Sat 26-Mar-16 07:26:02

You'd probably get more responses on the SN children board.

Happygoluckyy Sat 26-Mar-16 10:17:01

It's weird they gave you two appointments that were the same unless they wanted to check if anythings changed hmm we only saw the paed once before going to jacc assessment which was 8 months later, we did have other appointments given which included hearing tests, speech and language and a playgroup for children with learning difficulties.
If you feel he needs a hearing test push it with your gp/hv they should be able to get you an appointment.
I'm not sure about school assessments as my little one will be starting school in September. You just need to keep pestering that teacher grin
As for ed psyc we got referred after the diagnosis of asd. Good luck with everything and i hope you get the help you need!

Monkey7373 Mon 28-Mar-16 19:10:40

Thank you, it seemed strange to us too... what's a jacc assessment? We just really want to know if he needs/should be getting more support at school or not. I understand we don't want to put pressure on kids early on but also believe in early intervention if there is a problem. He is our first born so we have nothing to compare to so are relying on the school to keep us up to speed with his progress. I am assuming if his teacher thought there was a real issue he would let us know/do something about it? Although he does know that we have been having these appointments so maybe he is leaving it to us?

Monkey7373 Mon 28-Mar-16 19:12:30

Thanks August a 😁

Happygoluckyy Tue 29-Mar-16 16:04:24

Jacc stands for joint assessment clinic for communication, there was a lot of specialists there, hidden behind a glass while a nurse played with her and a psychologist took notes, it lasted about an hour and i was told its how they'd make a diagnosis for my little one which i got a few days later at a parent only appointment. I think its for children 5 and under.
Have you any nephews or nieces on either side that you could compare his behaviour too?
If not i've seen a video on youtube that could help if you do suspect asd.

I'm not sure about teachers tbh blush but the creche never told me about my little girl avoiding eye contact or not wanting to play with other children much which are some vital warning signs.

You know your child the best, trust your instincts smile

Monkey7373 Tue 29-Mar-16 19:01:37

Thanks again Happygoluckyy, I think I have over researched the whole thing over the last 12 months or so. I believe he may have mild asd, my husband doesn't. The last paediatrician we saw asked if he was affectionate and when we said yes he said good as we want to rule out autism and autistic kids aren't affectionate! I know this to be rubbish but that put the rubber stamp on it for my OH! Basically the only reason I would push for a diagnosis is if it is necessary for his schooling as we manage him fine at home. It feels a bit like you have to already know what your child has in order to get a diagnosis rather than just expressing your concerns and then letting the assessments take their course?! I have also considered auditory processing disorder but it could also just be his personality? I just don't know and wish someone would tell me!

Monkey7373 Tue 29-Mar-16 19:05:59

And he does have cousins but they are much older and live in Scotland so we rarely see them. He has a little sister and she is so different it's unreal! They are like chalk and cheese!

Happygoluckyy Wed 30-Mar-16 13:58:19

It shouldn't just be school he needs a diagnosis for he'd need it for all aspects of life as he'll find it hard to socialise and usually communication is a big factor of asd. Id defo speak to your senco after the holidays and inform them of all your worries they should be able to help grin also the referral for the hearing test.
I don't think you should do a self diagnosis as a lot of people have autistic traits but aren't actually classed as autistic. I know it's hard and you're doing the best for your little boy but unfortunately it is hard because it varies from person to person. Hang in there

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