Advanced search

Our SN area is not a substitute for expert advice. While many Mumsnetters have a specialist knowledge of special needs, if they post here they are posting as members, not experts. There are, however, lots of organisations that can help - some suggestions are listed here. If you've come across an organisation that you've found helpful, please tell us. Go to Special needs chat, Parents with disabilities, SN teens, SN legal, SN children, SN recommendations.


(3 Posts)
shell21 Wed 09-Dec-15 12:30:57

Dear all,
I don't really know where to start but my partner has 2 children from a previous relationship both boys 11 & 9 (soon to be 10) and we have 1 boy together,
I have some strong concerns regarding the 9 year old and he shows signs of needing some help and support in a few areas which upon research could be aspergus related. He currently receives no help or assistance and I'm struggling to understand 'why' he does things or is the way he is, sorry I don't know how to word it.
In a nut shell, he has difficulty forming friends and is often left alone at school (which was mentioned at parents evening)
he has a vivid imagination (says things like he was killed last night and came back to life) and tells you about events that haven't happened
he doesn't understand 'jokes' regardless of the subject
he has awful night terrors, literally screaming for help, or shouting things like leave me alone, go away etc
he constantly has to know 'what happening today' eg, where are we going, how long will we be there, who else will be there etc
he believes things are real.........his teddy dog for example, has to go in the garden to do his business, be fed everything you do for a real pet.
he doesn't comprehend house rules eg if you don't eat dinner you wont have pudding (which is the same for everyone lol)
When you discipline him, he laughs in your face, not really understanding what hes done.

Like I said this is just a nut shell, both the step children visit every other weekend together however to be fair my son gets along with them better seperatly, else its just constant arguing.
Now our son has been getting told of because of the things the 9yr old does, which my son knows isn't funny and is wrong but he cant help but laugh.

I'm really struggling with this, and ive asked for help before or advice but because I'm not 'the parent' nothing goes any further.
Ive been telling my bf for a while now that something needs to change and the boy needs some sort of support, and he has told the mum that, some members of the family constantly make comments about how different he is and constantly find 'what he does' funny

I don't know what to do anymore, and I cant carry on like this.

fasparent Thu 17-Dec-15 02:52:30

Sounds as if child is experiencing some form of PTS or Trauma related issues, may be you can speak too the school or social services in confidence, perhaps they could also have concerns and be not as aware of home issues, lots of children suffer in silence, see

fasparent Thu 17-Dec-15 03:27:06

Sorry forgot too add perhaps as you say there are underlying conditions which are not being addressed other than correction , correction correction......... which can result in PTS or trauma which in itself can result in some very strange behaviours and actions.
Perhaps a visit too the GP and a referral too the Genetic Clinic would be the answer this would fast track any support and CAMHS referral if successful also identify any other problems which may be inherent or chromosome disorders. Will also think be a more expectable way too suggest too your partner a way of accessing medical help and support.
You will have too be firm with all too get help always find have too fight your corner sad though it be , that's how it is these day's .

Kindest Regards

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now