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My son tried to hang himself in school yesterday.

(93 Posts)
WhenWillTheBuildersFinish Thu 31-May-12 16:28:58

My son has ASD. He has never got on in school but is academically at least 2 years ahead. Unfortunately he suffers from depression. He is 10 years old.
Yesterday, after receiving yet more verbal bullying from the other boys he tried to hang himself using a skipping rope attached to the climbing frame in the hall.
He is scared of heights and can't tie knots well, so I questioned this, turns out another boy tied the rope for him and stood there watching whilst my son tried to strangle himself to death. Only at the last moment did another boy run for help.

My son is upposed to get 1:1 21 hours per week in mainstream.

I am still in total shock, I know my son has had self harm issues in the past and recently his psychiatrist left, leaving him with no support (he used to have regular appointments).

I don't know what to think regarding the lack of supervision and the fact another child helped my son to, effectively, commit suicide.

I am in a totally torn state of mind today.

As ever, the school are a bunch of feckless arseholes, trying to placate me once again with 'ooh we need to speak to the Ed Psych again' crap they keep coming out with.

Sorry to rant, I am sure you can understand my anger and frustration over the whole affair.

The school are now saying they don't think my son will fit in well at Secondary School. 'No? Well who'd have thought!!!! If he can't cope with 100 kids, whats he going to be like when there are over a thousand!?


WhenWillTheBuildersFinish Thu 31-May-12 16:31:05

By the way, he is physically ok. Spent last night crying, upset, wanted to die, that sort of thing but he has calmed down a lot today. Still very sad and withdrawn though.

StealthPolarBear Thu 31-May-12 16:32:22

Bloody hell you poor thing and poor son. Is he off school today.
Can't believe the schools reaction to the incident and the bullying
How is your son now he's home. Have you seen anyone professiknally about this?

StealthPolarBear Thu 31-May-12 16:33:22

X post, that's heartbreaking. Hope he's getting loads of cuddles. Please don't send him back to that schol. Would a special school be an option?

StealthPolarBear Thu 31-May-12 16:34:17

Actually at 10, what does he say he needs to feel better?
Have you been in touch with camhs?

HandMadeTail Thu 31-May-12 16:34:43

Oh, When, I don't know what to say. I know others will be along with advice, but this is just awful, and an absolute disgrace that this happened. sad also angry

Well done to the boy that helped him, though.

StealthPolarBear Thu 31-May-12 16:35:32

Can you take him out tomorrow somewhere fantastic, before the half term crowds? I know that's not going to address the problem but it might help cheer him up a little.

StealthPolarBear Thu 31-May-12 16:36:31

It soundsto me like the boy was part of it but only ran off because it was getting serious. I don't think he deserves any praise.

WhenWillTheBuildersFinish Thu 31-May-12 16:54:54

The boy that ran off was part of it. He is one of the kids who constantly picks on my son. The kid who tied the rope has spent many hours playing at my house and my son believed he was his friend...until now.
School has finished here. They only went in for a jubilee party today. Inset tomorrow.
We are taking him away to the beach for the long weekend, even though it will piss down with rain. We just need to get away.
Camhs have been involved for 5 years, thats where he had his monthly psych appnts, but because his psych left we were told he wouldn't get another one due to underfunding. They suddenly changed their tune when the school rang them to tell them of the incident!

School head says she is looking round for 'alternative education'. There is not muc option round here. The one 'special school' is for severe learning difficulties, which he does not have.

I just find it heartbreaking

alison222 Thu 31-May-12 16:55:48

Oh! sad.
It sounds like the other boy needs to be dealt with too if he is tying knots for your DS - is he one of the bullys?
angry at school for trying to placate you. They should be doing something about the other children. Complain in writing re this.

I do hope your DS is feeling a bit better today. Keep him at home as long as he needs.

WhenWillTheBuildersFinish Thu 31-May-12 17:01:46

Thanks for the support everyone. It has always been a struggle here.
He constantly tells me that he wants to die, wishes he'd never been born etc. Makes me feel hollow inside.

He said to me yesterday. 'Mum, you know I will do it one day, it's just a matter of time'

How do you deal with that?

I think he has had a bad time in school recently, been picked on every day this week and came home in tears. Hormones have a part to play, I recently noticed he was developing 'hairy parts' so we had a little talk about emotions with him. Unfortunately he doesn't do emotions well, so it's hard for him.

TheLightPassenger Thu 31-May-12 17:34:41

I'm so sorry, how awful for you and your child and your family sad. If you feel up to it, would you consider speaking to the police at all, it really makes my blood run cold that other children seem to have been involved with tying the rope. Do you have a decent GP? They could sign him off school due to illness and try and get CAMHS to offer more support urgently.

TheLightPassenger Thu 31-May-12 17:35:43

Is it OK to do a link to this thread on main SN board, so more people can see and offer advice, the main SN board is used more than SN education.

colditz Thu 31-May-12 17:38:44

Could you home educate him for a while?

WhenWillTheBuildersFinish Thu 31-May-12 17:48:10

Lightpassenger, it's ok to do a link if you know how! I don't mind.

I just don't know wat to do at the moment but we have 10 days holiday now to think about everything.

EBDTeacher Thu 31-May-12 17:53:54

So angry on your behalf that the school took such a blase attitude and that CAMHS are so useless. angry

Have you looked around to see if there is a Special School in a nearby county or a suitable special Independent around you?

If there is I would start the process of pushing for an out of county placement. I'm not saying that it would solve everything but an educational placement with knowledgable, speciallist staff with the freedom to tailor their service to your DS's needs would surely help.

NarkedPuffin Thu 31-May-12 17:56:17

I'd ask for advice on the special needs board as they have more experience of these issues. From my POV, I'd roast the head over a fiery pit. What the hell are they doing about the bullying? What are they doing to supervise him at school? What were the consequences for the child who tied the knot and then watched?

[[ Hugs ]]

BoffinMum Thu 31-May-12 18:04:55

This is awful news. Let me put my professional hat on for this.

First things first, I would recommend a psychiatric appointment as a matter of urgency tomorrow. Go to the GP or even A and E if necessary, and tell them what happened. This is incredibly serious and a higher priority than a holiday IMO. Could you do that?

Secondly, do not send your son to school until the bullies have been removed. If they are not removed before the end of term, then simply don't send him back in. If children are taunting another child to this degree, and typing knots in a rope for him to hang himself, this is about as extreme as it gets in terms of bullying, and I am appalled that the school hasn't already excluded the bullies. If this got to court they would look incredibly neglectful, apart from anything else.

In terms of another school, it would help if you were proactive. Consider a specialist boarding school with expertise in high functioning ASD, perhaps, where fees would be (reluctantly) paid by the Local Authority. Or consider a local small independent school - again, the LA may end up having to pay fees, or there may be bursaries. Last resort might be to relocate the family - anything rather than suffer as you are all doing at the moment. The LA might be in a position to offer some home tutoring if it was sufficiently worried you might take legal action at any point.

I really hope you find the help he needs, OP.

EBDTeacher Thu 31-May-12 18:27:16

Agree with Boffin that it help a great deal if you take the lead in finding the school you think you be right for your DS. I would scour the options and make visits to potential schools. When you find one you think is right you may have to take it to tribunal to get a placement. I do think it would be worth it though.

EBDTeacher Thu 31-May-12 18:28:49

and yes, I would be pretty tepmted to drag the old school over the coals.

BoffinMum Thu 31-May-12 18:30:03

If half of what you say on here is true, the school has it coming to them.

EBDTeacher Thu 31-May-12 18:30:10

Sorry for all the typos in that- I am very tired!

cocolepew Thu 31-May-12 18:30:55

My DD had suicidal thoughts and I took her to A&E, I got help very quickly because of this.

I'm horrified this has happened, your poor son. If the school is not taking it seriously, phone the police. Inform the school you have, inform your LEA as well.

TBH I would go to a solicitor as well.

BoffinMum Thu 31-May-12 18:31:03

Whereabouts are you, OP? More or less?

giraffesCantFitInThePalace Thu 31-May-12 18:31:31

Can highly reccomend childline if he wants to talk. Also has a msn type chat service if prefers that.

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