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DS in constant trouble at autism unit for his anger

(3 Posts)
dazedandconfused Fri 07-Jan-11 22:21:43

After a rocky couple of years at mainstream school, our DS started at an autism unit last Autumn. He seemed to settle in but the weeks up to Christmas and this first week back we have had consistent reports of aggressive behaviour. We get daily reports from his class teacher and I've come to dread reading them each day because they're always full of everything DS has done wrong. I now feel like he's on a really negative footing, and that she's documenting every sign of aggression in great detail. This makes me paranoid that she's building up grounds for exclusion. At home his behaviour has improved significantly so school is obviously difficult for him to cope with. Has anyone else had experience of this? I'm wondering whether CBT for anger management might help? Any advice gratefully received!

AlysWho Sat 08-Jan-11 15:57:23

Hello I'm new to this and looking around for advice on other things but saw yr mess and thought i've been there! My daughter is asd (etc), aged 13 and has been in specialist attached units since she was 3. The diary system is great but can often come across as very impersonal! The idea of the diaries is to report on whats happened during the childs school day as the children often dont have the commnication tools to do so themselves. It is meant to be therefore factual and non judgemental! HOWEVER... its oftn been a huge point of contention for us and many others i speak to! I've complained over the years of not enough info, eg child did maths english etc but no comment on WHAT or HOW they did. At one school we used to get 3 lines on what she'd had for dinner, and food is really NOT an issue for us, though behaviour, anxiety, communication and many other things are.And also as you are of negative feedback. Also overly positive feedback, (with no mention of the bite marks on her hands)! I really think though its all about building up a relationship with the different staff who work with your child and write in the diary. Get on the phone and tell them how you feel. Most of the time this has resulted in a great conversation and loads of progress made when i've done it. (if it doesnt phone back/visit and talk to someone else!)Its so easy to feel isolated and overwhelmed as a parent of a SN child, theres no easy 'school gates' networking to do as we do with our NT children. I've learnt over the years to remeber that teachers and LSA's are human too (mostly)and often will not have any idea how upsetting their comments can seem to an anxious, stressed, sleep deprived parent. Talk to them, explain what you'd LIKE to see in the diary, ask them if your childs behaviour is really that bad, and if it is what can you do together to help improve it? They have a duty to meet your childs needs. There are behavioural services, learning programs, circle time SO many things to try. We find social stories, clear guidelines about 'whta is going to happen if ...', and talking to child about 'how i feel' at intervals in the day really helpful, so tht anxieties and stresses dont build up and explode into bad behaviour. Good luck!
ps the Xmas term is always awful, all that festive stuff interfering with routine!

dazedandconfused Sat 08-Jan-11 16:34:13

Thanks AlysWho - it's so reassuring to hear someone else's experience. You're right - I will contact the school on Monday and organise a meeting face-to-face. I know the staff try really hard - it's just hard to read 'he punched and kicked and tried to bite us' on a daily basis! Probably not as hard as it is for the teacher having to deal with it, I suppose.

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