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So disappointed with preschool report

(12 Posts)
magicroundabouts Fri 04-Jan-19 19:13:59

So, preschool gave me DS’s updated EYFS tracker today and he is still 16-26 months in all areas (he is 4). Except, Managing Feelings and Health and Self-care, where he is now between 8-20 and 16-26 months (he was 16-26 months at the last review for both of these). Reading through the report it seems this is because he is not co-operating with getting his nappy changed and showing signs of frustration.

Thing is though, they spoke to me about this last term and I’d told them that I thought he was getting ready to potty train. He had been refusing to wear his nappy at home and I was starting things slowly and would give it a proper go over the Christmas break.

It went really well. He hasn’t worn a nappy for the last two weeks. We have had accidents, but in the last few days he has been coming to get me when he needs the toilet and taking me there 😁.

First day back at preschool today. No accidents. He used the toilet there without issues. I was so proud of him and then I got home and read the report. I just feel so sad. They clearly saw his behaviour as a regression. According to them he has been tracking 16-26 months in all areas for the past year and I have been feeling down about this anyway. I wonder now if it is more that their expectations of him are so low that they are not looking for progress.

He starts school next September, so he isn’t there much longer. I think it really hit home, as sometimes I find it so hard to stay positive and using the toilet is such an achievement for any child. What hope is there if the people that are supposed to be teaching him can’t see his potential? Sorry, rant over, just feeling weighed down by it all 😢

zzzzz Fri 04-Jan-19 20:42:09

Well they sound delightful.?angry. I’m sure they’re just doing their job and all that but how depressing! Actually for me a report on dss language putting it at 18months at 7, was a turning point. I realised they knew nothing and simply could not see the brilliant because “different” hulked so large for them.
You will always see him more clearly.

Well done both of you in the potty training. That is FANTASTIC!grin

Thekidsarefightingagain Sat 05-Jan-19 10:08:12

You're definitely right in that once people have a certain perception of a child they become quite blinkered. Also, our children tend to underperform in nursery and school settings and can't show their potential. Ds has always been rated as being very delayed on the EYFS tracker and is the complete opposite at home.

magicroundabouts Sat 05-Jan-19 21:15:58

Thanks for the replies and @zzzzz for your kind words. It is depressing isn’t it? More so because it clearly isn’t unusual sad

I know I shouldn’t take any report to heart and it is only their opinion and not a true reflection of his abilities, but it got to me as I thought we were all on the same page. Anyway, lesson learned!

We had a good day today - went out for lunch, he managed a few bites and then sat with his play doh for half an hour before it was too much and we went to the park - so I have been focusing on the positives instead grin

Mummy0ftwo12 Sun 06-Jan-19 13:04:06

Is it possible that the EYFS tracker was done before the Christmas break though?

SexNotJenga Sun 06-Jan-19 13:06:55

I think his 'updated' report was probably written before Christmas.

greenlanes Sun 06-Jan-19 13:28:42

Yes the report will be based on the previous 3(?) months and it will be based on observations at nursery. Often there is space for parent comments. We do EYFS tracking quarterly. However I am not sure that you can regress a child's score - you mentioned for Managing Feelings that they had changed the score from 6-26 back to 8-20? If they feel he is not progressing then the nursery should be putting in place actions to support him. Are there proposed support on the report?

danni0509 Fri 11-Jan-19 16:06:41

@magicroundabouts my ds is 5 next week, (he has autism and learning difficulties) he started school in September. (hes also still in nappies full time so well done to your ds. It's not happening with mine for now but that's a different story lol)

In July at the end of nursery his report said on the early years foundation he was 16-26 months in all areas and now his school are tracking him the same age in the same areas.

Yet in some areas (school haven't said this, i use the eyfs guide at home myself so I know what needs working on, so regularly check) he is ticking off statements in the 40-60 months band (starting to write letters from his own name & can recognise numbers and letters, knows his phonics etc.) obviously writing letters of your name isn't 16-26 months.

Take it as a rough guide only, this is what I do, he may he 16-26 months in some areas but higher in other areas like my ds.

16-26 months would be right for my ds with regards to some areas of learning, but definitely not all, my ds is a bit of a mixed bag really.

And it's true you will see the 'true' ds at home as you have more time with him etc.

Also every person who assessed him would likely get a different age.

When he had his assessments for autism they had him down at 8-20 months then the same week his special needs portage worker had him down as 22-36 months which at the time he most definitely was not. x

openupmyeagereyes Fri 11-Jan-19 20:10:33

My ds has asd and also had a very spiky profile on his eyfs tracker at nursery. A couple of areas were age appropriate, the one that included self and personal care was very low because at nursery he did not eat, therefore did not communicate hunger, and resisted using the toilet - he was only there 9-12 so went before and afterwards. He had also ticked off items in the later categories but I believe they need a complete block to move them on?

Since he started school he eats lunch there (sadly nothing healthy but at least he eats), and uses the toilet - he’s had one accident so far I think so he’s doing really well.

The tracker is important but it is a snapshot in time and your child will continue to improve and you may find big advancements in certain areas within a relatively short space of time.

April2020mom Fri 11-Jan-19 22:40:14

The report is a snapshot of time. I’ve read depressing reports about my son objectively and unemotionally. We have a EYFS evaluation later this year. I’m hoping for positive feedback and advice. Any advice and tips on what to expect will be appreciated thank you.

magicroundabouts Sun 13-Jan-19 20:40:54

Thanks for all the replies and advice. It has really helped to keep things in perspective.

I went in to discuss the report with DS’s keyworker at the end of this past week. She confirmed that a child needs to tick all boxes in a band before they can be moved to the next, which does explain a lot. DS’s profile is very spiky too, so the scoring is probably about right overall for the report as is.

I asked as well about the lower scoring for Health/Self-care and Managing Feelings. She said they had to score according to the behaviour witnessed at preschool and glossed over our conversations re potty training. I am a bit annoyed that they viewed not wanting to put a nappy back on as being unwilling to cooperate rather than considering that maybe he just didn’t want to wear it, but that was their view. Anyway, DS was happily using the toilet at preschool during the week (even went by himself once shock), washing his hands etc, so they don’t need me to tell them not to underestimate him gringringrin

openupmyeagereyes Sun 13-Jan-19 20:57:14

Our dc will often be more comfortable with us/at home (I say often because I know some dc need the very structured routine a special school can give and thrive there) and it can be frustrating when we know they can do things and nursery or school don’t see it. I do think, though, that it is significant if they are not able to, for whatever reason, do these same things in a school or nursery setting. It indicates where they may need additional help and if these are significant then a support plan should be discussed and put into place.

It’s very annoying that they are not supporting you with the potty training, it sounds like he’s doing really well star

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