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Yet again no Christmas jumper.

(18 Posts)
Phoebesgift Fri 14-Dec-18 08:39:58

Why won't my 10 year old daughter with ASD wear a Xmas jumper for school? It's not the texture or design, we've explored loads of options. I feel shit that she will be the only kid in her class in normal uniform.
Bribery and persuasion doesn't work. I know in the great scheme of things this is small but yet again she is going to stick out as different and I hate it.
Anyone else's kids point blank refuse? Btw she actually loves Christmas.

HardAsSnails Fri 14-Dec-18 08:45:14

Ds has never done it as school has a uniform and that's the routine! He doesn't care about being different at all, and now he's mid teens I will say that I'm bloody glad he's not a follower.

You're making this into a much bigger deal than it is.

MrsFrisbyMouse Fri 14-Dec-18 08:48:06

Yes. Both my children have refused. The 13 year old (NT) has never liked Christmas jumpers, dressing up days etc etc. Marches to the beat of her own drum - so I think protects her from some of the teenage peer pressure/social media pressure to look/be a certain way. The 7 year old just can't get his head around the expected change from school uniform!!

I however love my 80's style Christmas Jumper!

Marshmallow09er Fri 14-Dec-18 09:08:55

DS never wears one either. It the anxiety that it's not school uniform and therefore feels against the rules.
He worries that he'll get it wrong and be told off for wearing the wrong thing (even when we all show him the letter / visual timetable saying it's Xmas jumper today).

However counterintuitively he doesn't seem to mind when he is the only one not wearing a Xmas jumper!

If she's calmer and happier without one I wouldn't worry.

DS is at SS and I thought we might avoid the whole thing this year, but nope they do it there too! Some kids love it, some don't.

gigglingHyena Fri 14-Dec-18 09:39:33

For DS school has always meant uniform.

He's often spent hours planning a costume for book day, but non of them have been worn, when the day rolls round the anxiety of getting it wrong hits hard and he feels safer in uniform. Even for his school camp he wore tops and bottoms in the school colours for the week.

While in the grand scheme of things it should be a small thing, it's hard seeing him in the playground, one of a handful of children still in uniform. Harder still responding to the helpful parents asking if I forgot, or suggesting that if I drop a bag of clothes into the office they will let him change.

Although the person who asked if I'd forgotten it was world book day, while my other child was stood next to me in a costume of black leather and fake bird skulls does deserve a special mention.

SkeletonSkins Fri 14-Dec-18 09:53:54

Could you attach some tinsel, baubles or even a set of battery operated Christmas lights to her school jumper?

BlackeyedGruesome Fri 14-Dec-18 21:01:06

It is hard coming to terms with your expectations being different to their preferences. Ds completely flummoxed me by wearing his Christmas jumper today when he has been refusing to wear a coat or jumper well into November and has now compromised with a cotton hoody. Even the shorts wearing boys wear a coat. It feels like a parenting failure but it is down to sensory issues.

Sirzy Fri 14-Dec-18 21:04:06

School means uniform for ds. So he goes in uniform. He doesn’t care what anyone else is wearing so why should I?

I no longer make an issue of it or try to persuade him out of uniform because it’s a battle we can avoid

RippleEffects Fri 14-Dec-18 21:10:23

I've been known to sew a lopsided red and white felt Santa hat onto a school logo to turn it into a christmas jumper for autistic DS1. Now in special provision secondary so no longer have this particular challenge.

DD (yr3) wore her school uniform in full under a thin christmas cotton top today (until we got to thr playground and she reverted back to just uniform).

CaptainKirksSpookyghost Fri 14-Dec-18 21:27:57

I hate it.

Does she?

zzzzz Fri 14-Dec-18 22:40:09

All of my children have refused Xmas jumper or dressing up at one stage or another. It’s a GOOD thing to be able to take your own line.

BlackeyedGruesome Fri 14-Dec-18 23:01:16

the issue for me is my issues at them not doing what one supposes they should.

SpringerLink Sat 15-Dec-18 12:24:04

I once got DS to wear an Xmas jumper on Xmas jumper day in year 2. He then wore it to school every day until year 4 ended. It created a new school routine. And he couldn't break out of it.

This year, no Xmas jumper.

No one knows why. Best to just go with the flow for us.

Phoebesgift Sun 16-Dec-18 10:12:36

I just wish she wouldn't request a bloody jumper then point blank refuse to wear the thing. About time I learnt my lesson isn't it?

pannetone Sun 16-Dec-18 10:51:41

Ah don’t be so hard on yourself and your DD. I’ve learnt with my DD on the spectrum that she is sometimes desperate for me to buy her a particular top usually with some cute animal design - but that doesn’t actually mean she plans to wear it! We have tops that have sat in her wardrobe unworn until she’s definitely grown out of them and then she might reluctantly agree they can go to the charity shop.

pannetone Sun 16-Dec-18 10:53:52

Tee hee - anyone else getting a Christmas jumper ad at the bottom of this thread just to rub it in!!

pannetone Sun 16-Dec-18 10:56:08

And Springerlink grin

SpringerLink Sun 16-Dec-18 11:12:55

@pannetone - DS does that all the time. Often he likes the picture but the feel wrong. He also likes a lot of "girl" clothes but will only wear them if he knows that no one from school will see him (he was very teased for his pink shoes and gloves in year 1).

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