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Will you help me think things through? Education.

(8 Posts)
Shineyshoes10 Thu 13-Dec-18 14:38:09

I am trying to work out how we move forward. I don't actually know what I want from this thread. Sorry in advance that it is long and rambling.

DS is currently out of education. No education and only therapies via NHS for last few weeks. There are no suitable schools within travelling distance. MS failed nearly 3 yrs ago. A couple of SS we thought had a chance of working refused to admit, the last one well interesting the process during a 3 day assessment - which went disastrously wrong. We are moving soon and it is the same situation everywhere where we are moving to. The LA are currently hoping I will be quiet, move and go away passing me around.

Would you ever put your DC back in MS knowing the placement will probably breakdown? This is what DS wants.

DS is Y4, he has SEMH needs and some medical needs (nothing that can not be handled within MS, but has put some indie SS off saying they do not have a school nurse on site - they do not need one). He is academically able with v high anxiety. He need small class sizes, full time 1:1, nurturing environment and lots of therapies/interventions (some SS have informally said no, and 2 formally, because they can't meet his EHCP requirements). DS is allergic to animals (many SEMH schools/units have pets, especially therapy dogs). He's also unable to go to a school with an onsite farm/stables/allotments (many SEMH schools seem to be on farms etc). He does not have ASD (mentioned because we have found some schools we would investigate further, but are specialist ASD schools.). When I went off on a tangent I also found a couple of girls schools I would investigate further (think small, specialist, trauma focused schools), I even called 2 to ask if they knew of alternatives.

We can not have him at home full time. It is not in the best interests of him, other DC or me. And quite frankly, the thought of an EOTAS package makes me want to run a mile.

The ultimate aim is to get him to a point he can engage with a specific type of therapy that should help him enormously but is unable to access at the moment.

If you have made it to the end thank you.

taratill Thu 13-Dec-18 14:45:00

I am in a very similar situation. There is no way I will allow my son to go back to mainstream or an unsuitable SEN school as he is a real risk of taking his own life when things are not working.

In the end DH and I put together our own package and sourced our own tutors. At the moment the LEA are funding that , although the original mainstream school is still named. Our package is significantly cheaper that the LEA suggested SEN school.

We have a review for February where we are hoping that the EHCP will reflect the needs and it will be a situation of EOTAS formally. However my understanding is that EOTAS cannot be named as an establishment, that part will be left blank.

If at any point my son can return to school then we want to go down that route but all parties acknowledge that it is unlikely to happen any time soon. We have support from OT and CAMHS on that point.

taratill Thu 13-Dec-18 14:46:25

I've just noticed your DS wants to go back,

Yes I did allow that to happen once. It didn't work and had a terrible impact on his mental health so I wouldn't again. If your DS really wants to go back and there will definitely be the support you have identified he needs then it is worth a go.

zzzzz Thu 13-Dec-18 15:59:14

Ds went back into school with a ft 1:1 ta in y5. We chose a teeny village school and he had a really great time there. They were everything anyone could want for us. If you can find a school who genuinely believe in inclusion then it has good chance of being a positive experience.

Shineyshoes10 Thu 13-Dec-18 19:37:16

Thank you.

Yes I did allow that to happen once. It didn't work and had a terrible impact on his mental health so I wouldn't again.
This is what worries me. DS likes the idea of going back to MS but I do not think he realises the reality. It has taken 3.5yrs to get to where we are now. I don't want to risk undoing all the hard work. DS just doesn't 'fit' into the system.

Section I in DS's EHCP is blank and has been since he got it because no one knows what to put.

I can't see how an EOTAS package would work for us, but right now it feels as though we are being forced down that route. Taratill, have you sourced your own therapies as well?

zzzz I know there isn't anything suitable locally, but I will investigate further afield and where we are moving to.

taratill Thu 13-Dec-18 20:03:29

Yes we have a bespoke package including tutoring, sport, horseriding / equine therapy and weekly OT. Even with all of that it is half the cost of the local independent sen school which the LA tried to name even though it is unsuitable.

DS is thriving on this package. He couldn't manage in school and the offered SEN school is unsuitable, the only real viable alternative would be residential over 100 miles away which he couldn't tolerate.

It will be interesting to see if the LA try to remove this package and still name the SEN school at the annual review. We may yet end up in Tribunal.

The alternative provision that the LA normally offer which is internet schooling would not work for our son because he has auditory processing difficulties. He is extremely bright but will need a scribe and reader for GCSEs.

zzzzz Thu 13-Dec-18 21:56:54

It might be worth asking if there are any MNSNers in the area you are looking in. No one will mind if you namechange, ask for local details and then change back wink. Forewarned is forearmed

Shineyshoes10 Thu 13-Dec-18 22:30:01

Internet schooling wouldn't work here either. DS needs someone sat with him for constant reassurance and to keep him on track. He needs lots of therapies/interventions (play therapy, SaLT, OT, art therapy, physio, ELSA, Lego therapy, social skills training... the list goes on) the thought of organising it all brings me out in a cold sweat. I also have other DC with needs of their own, including one with an EHCP, so I can't physically sit with DS and take him to therapies 5 days a week, week in week out.

zzz, I might just do that once I've had a quick look and spoken to a family member who works in a MS primary in the area we are moving to. Even if I only get suggestions of ones to give a wide berth.

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