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Is this to much or does it sound about right

(22 Posts)
Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 11:02:32

I posted this in Aibu but thought people here might be better to answer.
Have a 5 year old with sen no diagnosis as of yet. Hes currently tracking at 2 and ahalf years behind.
Hes lilac band wordless reading books. He hasn't master the basics yet in phonics phase2. School say he will be tested on his reading soon and won't pass as he can't answer where is the book setting? If you say to him where is graffulo (for example) he will say forrest. But the school says that he has to answer the question where is the book setting to be able to pass the test and can move on.
Hes currently got a reading book and phonics work book which is saying phonic sound and learning the first set on tricky words. Ds hasnt got though the sounds yet. Also has a booklet to learn to write the cursive letters they want me to do a letter a week. Then theres the numbers to learn to write. Ds can't hold a pen yet and is struggling with writing. Now we also have a snap game to play to sound out the animals names. A game to match the phonic sounds to pictures. A booklet to write certain sounds to finish the word of which is 6 pages long. And we get randam worksheets and told that he doesnt have to do them but if he does he will get a dojo. These worksheets are repeat work of what hes been doing in class. We also have 10 spellings to be working on. Now don't get me wrong i am very willing to help my ds and i am not saying i won't do any of this but is this really helpful to push so much on a reception child. They continue to tell me hes doing ok and hes not struggling just learns alot slower than anyone else. He says hes struggling and finds it so hard.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 11:06:58

Have you considered applying for an EHCP? It will provide appropriate support in school.

If he is not picking these things up in school, where he spends the majority of his time, you doing 10 minutes at home, isn’t going to help that much!

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 11:13:30

I have tried to get a ehcp took it all the way to tribunal but they said there wasnt enoygh eveidence to prove he needs support although theres more than enough evidence to prove he has sen. The EP wasnt helpful her report was a blame the parents report. She did a 20 minute observation with my son a bas3 on him at nursery. Apparently because hes making some sort of progress even though its only a little he doesnt need any more support than school can offer. School said in last taf meeting that they are basicly seeing what progress he can do this year.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 11:24:48

The difficult with Tribunals, is you often need private expert reports to counter LA expert reports.

If you are on a low income, you can get Legal Aid to pay for a solicitor and private reports.

2 and half years behind is quite a gap.

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 11:34:05

We are low income but don't qualify for legal aid.

Thats my fear that we will be stuck as we can't afford private reports.

I say that 2 and half years behind is quite a gap and get corrected with its not that bad.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 15:48:35

If you’ve been through the assessment process, they must have identified needs? Even if provision didn’t match.

What assessments were done? Just EP?

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 15:57:45

Hes had EP and SALT assesments. Salt idendtified what she called anomolies with him and thinks he will really start to struggle in year 1 as its a more formal education then. She also is backing a diagnosis of asd.

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 15:59:10

He also had a specialist teacher and additional inclusion support though out nursery. Which is another reason i am confused they say he doesn't need support for school.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 17:51:30

Private reports cost approx £800/1000. Could you save?

Alternatively if you ask for assessment and the LA fail to specify and quantify provision, a tribunal judge can order they do so.

With regards to the homework, it sounds like far too much, for much too little. They need to be supporting in school and addressing difficulties, all day, 5 days a week! 10 minutes of homework isn’t going to make that much difference.

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 18:41:25

We are currently trying our best to save.

They want me doing the work 7 days a week no break she was very stern on the no break an all.
I agree these things should be being addressed in school and that if they don't have the time or staff to support doing these things they should be applying for it. I will be bring this all up at the next meeting again and to his peaditrcian on wednesday.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 19:27:29

It’s a ridiculous amount of homework for any 5 year old, let alone one with SEN!

Is it even suitable for his ability? How can you practice writing if your son cannot yet hold the pen?! Maybe work on some hand strengthening exercises or dexterity etc?

At 5, my son had a speech delay, we used to play Jolly Phonics cards, these really helped.

Definitely speak to school, put the ball back into their court! Yes my son finds X difficulties, what are you going to do about it! If they say they don’t have the staff/time/money, follow that up in writing!

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 19:49:48

Its no where near sutied to his ability. I agree with everything you have said. Inahve been working on strengthen his hands and his fine motor skills we do things like bead threading sticking stickers using tweezers to pick things up.

He started school with nearly all his trackers in 22-36 months yet they have gone for the logic of him doing what everyone else is doing. At his last meeting he still had 8 areas in 22-36 months.
I have started to email things now instead of seeing the teacher at drop off and pick up to leave a paper trail.

Claw001 Mon 26-Nov-18 19:54:52

Good, tell school you ARE doing work at home, that is suitable! Definitely keep a paper trial.

Good luck, hope your meetings go well x

Harleyisme Mon 26-Nov-18 20:14:50

Thank you and thank you for your help today flowers

notgivingin789 Sat 01-Dec-18 23:38:43

Why is the school giving your child wordless books ? It's so wrong wrong wrong ! My DS was given wordless books at the age. It held him back !

I would be asking the school to increase your child's phonological awareness and to start giving your son decodable books. Even if it's one word per page, that's something. In honesty, wordless books are a waste of time.

I feel your pain OP. I had low income but didn't qualify for Legal aid too. Luckily, I just applied for DLA then and I used his DLA to pay for his private reports. Is this something you can do ?

I would also suggest the school to put implement some fine motor strategies to help with handwriting and you could look into getting him assessed by an NHS occupational therapist.

Don't feel to buggered down. We've all been there. Ask questions and we will help you.

Harleyisme Sun 02-Dec-18 09:11:26

Its how they work apparently. He doesnt know enough phonics or can't say enough about the book to move on to the next stage of books. We have nearly read all the wordless books the school have and now they send home books for me to read to him inbetween the wordless books.

I currently use all his dla to pay for his nappies as i have to order tena slip junior.

We actually went to the peadiatricion this week and hes in front in panel next year for autism she said if its not autism its learning disabilities or both she said she disagrees with the EP its definitely not me and he cant be delayed in every area ranging from 12 months to 2 half years for nothing theres got to be something. She actually said i am doing a great job of helping him. She also said he needs an OT assessment and that its better coming from school. School sencos annoyed at this and said she will decide with his class teacher if he needs one he definitely does and i won't be having it if they say they are not going to do it. Senco spent the last conversation whinging at me that she has 92 sen children on roll and a class to teach that she has to prioritise and shes assistant head she doesn't have the time for alot of things. I maybe wrong in my thinking but thats but thats not my problem and her refering for OT ect is part of her senco duties.

BlackeyedGruesome Sun 02-Dec-18 09:42:12

try a multi sensory approach and make it fun. he is more likely to learn that way.

with phonnics:
play lots of sounds games. eg rhyming with his name. eg: ben, ten, hen, wen, or mum, bum, tum,
songs and rhymes,
silly noises,
animal noises.

with writing letters, one at a time til he has got it, then two and keep going over the first one.
write in sand, flour, cornflour mix, shaving foam,
use your whole arm to write in the air, write with fingers on the carpet, make textured letters (sandpaper, lentils stick on paper, fuzzy or furry material) write on his back. (it feels the right way round) use lots of coloured pens, pencils, wax crayons, chalk on different coloured paper and card. stubby crayons and chalk promote the pincer grip.

finger strength. playdough, hiding little objects on theradough, (thicker and stronger) try plasticine as it is harder than playdough, peg washing on a line, (spring loaded pegs) lego,

if you have a sand tray, hide the letters he is learning in the sand and see if he can find them and sort them when he is learning more than one. )

search for Mrz in education and she has posted loads more ideas.

note everyday what you have done. (then they can not blame you)

eg jigsaws (visual and finemotor) spot the difference, memory games (what is missing from a group of two ro three or more objects)

just giving him worksheets is not going to be productive.

with reading keep modelling to him using finger left to right under the words, let him find the letters he is learning in the text.

Harleyisme Sun 02-Dec-18 10:14:42

I have been doing all these the only thing i haven't done is write down what i have done with him daily. I will begin to do so. To be honest they can't say it's me now as now he can speak and makes more sense he tells people what i do at home with him. We had a meeting with the reading teacher last week and she was saying play this do that and he sat there going we do this at home we play that at home in the end she said its obvious you already do lots at home with him. They say its attention i need to work on with him but ti be honest at home when its just me and him we have no problem concentrating but we do if his brother joins in

BlackeyedGruesome Sun 02-Dec-18 14:33:51

Writing down what you do is the way to go so you can have evidence that it is not crap parenting, cos they do like to blame you.

BlackeyedGruesome Sun 02-Dec-18 14:36:12

Oh and be creative. Think of the normal play stuff you do and find an educational reason for those as well. (There usually is one, gross motor, core strength to help writing, fine motor, language of some description.)

HexagonalBattenburg Mon 03-Dec-18 07:59:43

It sounds like a lot they're putting on you - and I do get how it feels, especially with any siblings into the mix.

We struggle sometimes to slot in speech therapy homework, both children's reading books, weekly homework tasks and OT homework regularly goes out of the window. It's balancing doing all these things with not burning the child out when their concentration span has gone! Thankfully school did a lot of very gentle interventions last year which helped a lot and took off some of the burden - but there were times when I got really pissed off during Reception year when they were sending home additional tasks to support DD2, along with the whole "play this phonics game and here are three books to share with your child and some counting activities to do" and then there'd be a notice in the classroom window going on about how parents weren't reading with their children enough as well.

If he can't hold a pencil it's bloody pointless sending home worksheets - you need to be working on core, arm and shoulder strength to prepare those muscles for writing... and also (one from my child's OT sessions) get him writing on walls, easels and the like - because that means he HAS to hold the thing he's writing with (aim for things like chunky chalks or a paintbrush and water and just let him "paint" the letters) in a more correct grip than a fist one. Whole principles of early years writing teaching is make it big and active and fun and then gradually refine it down - not throw worksheets at kids who've not been in school a full term yet!

Things like clothes pegs onto things to help with hand strength and finger dexterity. One hand behind his back and manipulating the peg the right way around just using the hand he's picked it up in, and then giving him two pegs and asking him to use the red peg or or the green peg - and do it with both hands. Added bonus if you can do it while getting them to help peg the washing up as you get a house chore done at the same time. Things like the little spinning tops you often get in party bags are brilliant for finger strength as well. Much much more productive than bloody worksheets consolidating weak pencil grips.

As for pencil grip - my daughter (she has dyspraxia) likes certain types of pencil much more than others. There's a website called Fantastic Dyspraxic which sell a little pencil case full of different types of adapted pencils you can try in case one makes writing a bit easier for him. DD2 insists that the dinosaur grips make life easier for her - but I strongly suspect that's mainly because dinosaurs are cool basically!

Harleyisme Mon 03-Dec-18 10:29:33

Thank you very much for all that thats amazing help flowers

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