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Goose and carrot - winter edition

(1000 Posts)
Sirzy Thu 08-Nov-18 09:21:46

Can’t find the old thread so I am guessing it has fallen victim to the 3 month rule so I will take my turn at opening up!

Welcome to the goose and carrot and place for us all to relax, share the highs and lows and general stresses and strains that come with special needs.

Plenty of tea, coffee, wine and gin to go around so make yourself comfy and jump on in!

Sirzy Thu 08-Nov-18 09:23:17

Ds 1-1 is off sick. They put someone else with him yesterday morning but he refused to work with him so I am thinking school will have been relieved that he didn’t go back after his appointment.

Today’s plan mainly involves support from teachers who aren’t in the hall doing Christmas play stuff as he doesn’t want anything to do with Christmas play. Will be interesting to see what mood he comes out in tonight then.

SpringerLink Thu 08-Nov-18 15:08:38

Just come back from an Ed Psych assessment for DS1. Will probably need to write a longer post, but very mixed feelings for me.

He’s very bright (96th centile for verbal reasoning), has very slow processing (4th centile) and has a very spiky profile.

Even though he’s clearly very bright, I’m finding it hard to acknowledge. I’m being a horrendous intellectual snob and thinking, “oh, so not that bright after all” because of the perspective I’m looking at it from (99.9th centile, nerdy job, Oxbridge educated blah blah and no perspective on real life etc etc). And then the other part of me is able to accept that he is bright!

I went in expecting to be told he was totally average and his slightly lower than average school attainment was completely in line with his ability. Now I know it isn’t, so I have another chalk on my hands to get support I now know he needs.

And new diagnosis of dyscalculia on top of ASD. That wasn’t expected, but I can totally see it.

youarenotkiddingme Thu 08-Nov-18 15:10:08

Just came on to find it! Guessed the same re 3 months rule!

Well as predicted ds refused to return to school after hospital. Tbh we were there 2 hours and he had a dreaded blood test again so he was holding his arm like he'd had major surgery 😂😂
His school are really good though and know what he's like!
He's had genetic testing for a condition called hereditary spastic paraplegia. Back in 4 months.

Sirzy Thu 08-Nov-18 15:12:57

After 4 months we have the new EHCP plan. It is shockingly bad, I had warned the case worker that I will be appealing. A target of “needs to read a wide variety of books” to be included for a child who is needing full time 1-1 (funded by school) to just be in shows how far off the mark they are. I think most of the “targets” are just copied and posted from a generic list!

Sirzy Thu 08-Nov-18 15:15:07

springer hopefully now you have the report that can help him get rhe support needed to meet his potiential.

Hope the appointment went well youare

youarenotkiddingme Thu 08-Nov-18 15:27:17

It went as well as they always do!

Ds is unique! And I've been absolutely correct that his muscular and co ordination development has been 'odd'. Neurologist wants to get to bottom of it as ds asked him if he could make him better. And basically no - at least not atm - but if they find the cause of his problems they are more likely to be able to help!

SpringerLink Thu 08-Nov-18 16:29:30

@youare re the blood tests - you can get a gel to put on the skin in advance to numb it if your DS has to have them often.

@Sirzy - thank you for the kind words. I’m rapidly getting over myself and focusing on the fact that now I know what to do to help DS with some areas where he struggles. And the report will make recommendations to school too, so all in all there are a lot of positives.

I hope the Christmas play avoidance went well.

BlackeyedGruesome Thu 08-Nov-18 16:56:56

it all depends on who you hang around with on the what is a "good" score for IQ. mine is not great but dd's is pretty good, but where we discussed this kids had higher scores.

dd is spikey too. in profile that is. not actually growing spikes. If she read that she would be worried and scared that she really was growing spikes.

BlackeyedGruesome Thu 08-Nov-18 16:58:29

offs. I came on to thank sirzy for the thread and got distracted.

I no longer have to skulk at the back not catching the eye of hte teacher.

youarenotkiddingme Thu 08-Nov-18 17:59:59

Oh yes he has the gel stuff. It's the actual act of them stocking a needle in his arm that panics him!

I told him to relax and the nurse wouldn't do it until he was ready. Then told him she'd finished. He didn't flinch 😂😂 clearly didn't feel it!

youarenotkiddingme Thu 08-Nov-18 18:02:03

My ds has a spiked profile too. Depending on who you speak to he's anything from highly intellectual (maths/ computer teachers) to very able to absorb information but struggles writing it down (geography/science) and has a 1:1 and a scribe and still likely to fail GCsE (English!)

LittleMy77 Thu 08-Nov-18 18:25:14

DS has what can only be described as a 'challenging' day yesterday but I think its illness related (the entire class is full of snot)

Am a bit annoyed as every time he has an off day like this, pre school seem to attribute it to his 'issues' rather than a kid having an off day. Am feeling quite paranoid atm as I'm convinced preschool are trying to hedge it so we don't apply next year, and they've basically said (without spelling it out in writing, because then we could actually hold their feet to the fire...) without a 1:1 teacher its not happening. Its all a 180 from his last nursery where they worked with his challenges on transitions etc and incorporated it rather than them becoming a massive problem.

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 08-Nov-18 18:34:18

Hello as it is a new pub I thought I would pop in an catch up with you all.

youare I hope that you get some useful results. It has been a long road.

sirzy that sounds like a truly chocolate teapot EHCP.

springer it is better to know and hopefully target help though I can come as something of a shock. Both of mine have spiky profiles and both now at university.

Ds is on his second term out, hopefully going back to pick up studies in January. He is doing lots of voluntary work in his university city and really enjoying it. He is sharing a house with others he met at the university ASD support group. That seems to be working out quite well. I am struggling with his PIP application at the moment. He just missed automatic transfer at 16 but now has to apply.
The timing isn't great as I am also doing dd's PIP renewal. She had her face to face interview last week. I feel as if we sat an exam but have no idea how we did.
Dd started at university in September. The support has been good on the whole and she is enjoying the course. She is getting really tired and has had a few bad days. Unfortunately they don't have a reading week this term so she has to keep going until the middle of December.

Sirzy Thu 08-Nov-18 18:57:49

Ds is spikey too. He can’t do the most basic of maths but he can tell you when each king and Queen reigned and how long ago it was!

Chocolate tea pot is a good way to describe the plan

gigglingHyena Thu 08-Nov-18 20:02:24

<puts kettle on> Anyone else for brew. I'm enjoying a quite hour or 2 while DH and the kids are all out. I'm steadfastly ignoring the pile of washing up, it can wait.

Sirzy, blimy I've heard some pretty bonkers EHCP targets but shock. Who dreams these things up.

Youare, your DS has my sympathies. I hate blood tests with a passion. I'm not an easy stick but even when the bruising doesn't seem particularly bad to look at my arm feels so achey. It's not a needle thing (fortunately since I'm insulin dependent), definitely a blood test thing.

Finally finished DSs EHCP review yesterday, now waiting to see what ends up on the draft. It's been a really tricky one as lots of the things which he had on there before are just part of the normal day in his new school.

Next on the list is meeting with DDs school. She had another panic attack, visit to the medical room yesterday prompted by a surprise English test. She struggles enough with planned ones!

DobbinsVeil Thu 08-Nov-18 21:56:57

Thanks for the new pub Sirzy.
Sorry the EHCP is so crap. "read a wide range of books" who comes up with the stuff? Do they have a random selection generator on their word bank that they click when they run out of ideas?

I hope your DS is feeling better soon LittleMy. Dealing with an obstructive setting can be quite soul destroying. And sadly, all to common an occurrence.

Good luck with the PIP stuff NoHaudin.

Poor DD giggling, hope you're able to get something sorted.

Disastrous have "lunch with your child day" at school here. So much so I ended up taking him home! Apparently he'd done maths fine but come in from morning break and refused to engage in the reading lesson and refused to talk to the teacher or even hand his book in. This was relayed by the school admin, who then started on DS3 that he must talk to them. She also tried to tell me he'd walked in the hall then out again which wasn't true as I was standing looking at the door because, you know, my child was not there! I got a tad annoyed.

I had a meeting with the Head who is going to find out how it was that DS3 didn't make it to the dinner hall with the rest of his class, and was instead outside observing a slug. And also what can be done for DS3 and his reading problems that they claim don't exist

BlackeyedGruesome Fri 09-Nov-18 13:17:13

THE forms have arrived

school will of course see no problems.

DobbinsVeil Fri 09-Nov-18 16:07:41

Good luck with The Form. I hope the school surprise you in a good way..

DS3 came home with 4 stickers for reading. Strange coincidence after I spoke to the Head yesterday about DS3 and his reading problems. No explanation as to how he ended up not making into the dinner hall though. hmm

youarenotkiddingme Fri 09-Nov-18 16:20:03

Black what forms are they?!

Nice to see you NH sounds like they are both doing well at Uni. Wonderful that ds is volunteering and has found a nice peer group.

NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 09-Nov-18 16:34:24

Thanks youare.
Are these assessment forms black?

BlackeyedGruesome Fri 09-Nov-18 16:55:59

the autism forms after two years waiting. if I fail the forms she will not get an assessment. (ok that is what it feels like anyway.)

I need a reminder of all the things she does. and ofcourse my head has gone balnk.

youarenotkiddingme Fri 09-Nov-18 17:19:39

Is a shame these threads get deleted after 90 days black. They'd have been a great reference

BlackeyedGruesome Fri 09-Nov-18 22:11:12

yeah, but there are other things that I want disappeared!

SpringerLink Sat 10-Nov-18 07:20:54

It’s a good idea when you’re filling out the forms to have a reference to the Triad of Impaiments with you and to make sure that your answers fit into all three categories. If you can give examples of specific behaviour and then say how that builds a general picture, that will really help get you to the point of being offered an assessment.

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