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Ok, another question about DD2

(53 Posts)
Lougle Sun 18-Nov-12 13:38:13

I noticed today, that DD2 doesn't seem to use language as I expect. I <as ever> don't know what is normal.

She has a tummy bug. She can't even keep water down, so food is out of the question. She doesn't want food, but was anxious about it.

She said 'Mum, why can't I have the thing that you and Daddy and DD1 and DD3 are having?' I replied 'do you mean food?' and she said 'yes'.

Why didn't she just say 'food' or 'something to eat'? Why did she list each of our names, and call the food 'the thing that you are having'?

Is that what a 5 year old normally does?

I know that DD3 (3.7) would just say 'why can't I have something to eat?' In fact, so would DD1.

There's something I can't put my finger on, but it just sounds so...formal but wrong.

rainbowinthesky Sun 18-Nov-12 13:41:55

No idea of the background or what it is but you are right. It is an unusual way to phrase things.

sannaville Sun 18-Nov-12 13:45:20

My dd1 is a bit like this, she has dx of ADHD. She would say" that thing that you and Dh and dd2 had last night off the red plate and dd2 left some of it, and some sauce went on the table and u.gave the leftovers to dog, well can I have that one day?" She exhausts me. Every convo is a huge round in the circle type of response and god help me if I'm not nodding in the right places! My dd is 8

lisad123 Sun 18-Nov-12 13:49:56

Dd2 does this. She is 5 and has a dx of Asd. The salt said its word finding issues. sad

Ineedalife Sun 18-Nov-12 13:50:01

Dd3 does this and I didnt realise until she was tested by a SALT, she showed her a picture of some cutlery and asked what they were. Dd3 said "You eat with them"

I have no idea why but she quite often goes a very round about way of saying things. I wondered if it is related to her poor organisation, with Dd3 it is global, her body is disorganised, her thoughts are disorganised so I suppose it follows that her speech would be too.

If Dd3 is telling me about something that has happened she gets frustrated sometimes because she will remember something that happened earlier in the story. She isnt able to just slot in the new information, she has to start the whole story again. I dont know if this is related too.

Sorry no help as usualwink

Ineedalife Sun 18-Nov-12 13:51:30

Yes lisad I think that is what the SALT said about Dd3 too.

sannaville Sun 18-Nov-12 13:52:49

No one has ever mentioned it about my dd1 and she's never had salt, but she does love to talksmile word finding issues would fit probably as lisad said

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 18-Nov-12 14:36:25

Word finding difficulties, consistent with a Dx of ASD (although can also occur without).

Lougle Sun 18-Nov-12 16:06:55

Ok, thanks, so that needs to go on my list,doesn't it? <is it normal to only notice these things when all goes pear shaped, I wonder?>

Ineedalife Sun 18-Nov-12 17:11:03

I think it is because you are concious that your Dd is struggling in some areas. You are obviously a good parent who is trying to find out why.

I have found that when I look really hard at Dd3 she has many difficulties. She already has a dx of ASD which I had to fight for but I am not sure if these processing difficulties need flagging up too.

I think you notice more when something is not quite right because it jumps out at you that it is not quite right.

Be kind to yourself, am honking and flapping like mad for yousmile

Lougle Sun 18-Nov-12 17:32:09

Thank you, Ineed, I think 'I need' honks smile

She seems to have stopped vomiting now, and we are watching Matilda. Again.

claw4 Sun 18-Nov-12 19:23:18

Ds was like this when younger, pre-dx, i thought he was very descriptive blush and didnt even realise until later, that he didnt actually know the name of something, so would describe what it did instead.

Even very simple everyday things, like a washing machine - you put your clothes in to get them clean. A kettle - it makes water hot. A light switch - that turns the light on.

In fact i just asked him to name the things we put in the candle holder on the table and he said 'lights'

Lougle Sun 18-Nov-12 19:28:27

That's the odd thing. I held up a fork, she told me it was a fork. She could tell me it was metal...she knows what things are. It just seems to be that when she's talking freely, she goes all around the houses.

lisad123 Sun 18-Nov-12 19:33:12

Dd does this often. She knows the words of objects but sometimes they just fall out of her head.

claw4 Sun 18-Nov-12 20:08:03

Have you tried some other objects, i think ds would have been able to name a fork, but not things that he wouldnt use, so things that are there everyday, but he never uses, like washing machine, kettle, radiator, oven, iron that kind of thing

sannaville Sun 18-Nov-12 20:41:35

My dd will also randomly start conversations in the middle so I actually have no idea what she's on about! A favourite of hers is "you know that thing we saw!" In fact I'm sure 'thing' is her favourite word!!! I will mention it on parents evening and see what her teachers say.
Telling her to stop and think what she needs to say works a bit RE her goog round the houses!

Lougle Sun 18-Nov-12 20:45:25

No, I didn't, claw.

Sannaville - DD2 is exactly like that. She'll say 'so I came downstairs and put my shoes on and by the time I got there it was over.' I spend the next few minutes trying to unpick:

a) why was she upstairs?
b) why were her shoes off?
c) where was it she was getting to?
d) what was over?
e) why wasn't she there in the first place

Then, she gets mad at me for not knowing it all.

I get so exhausted by it all. I have DD1 who is several years behind in development. DD2 who seems to be developing atypically, then DD3 who is doing things that the development charts say she should be able to do in 18 months' time.

sannaville Sun 18-Nov-12 20:51:48

smile got to smile at that my dd comes out with veryyyyy similar things! In fact today she said " when you were having a wee the other day what was it you said to me?" Omg firstly I couldn't remember what wee she was referring to or what I said! She couldn't tell me what it was about but apparently she found it funy and wanted me to say it again! She got veryyyy angry because I couldn't remember! She spoke at a fairly early age and no one has ever mentioned her speech to me but she does talk at people rather than to them but we were told that's part of ADHD dx. As she's 8.5 now the gap is widening with how she speaks compared to her peers

Ineedalife Sun 18-Nov-12 21:51:37

The starting sentences in the middle can be due to poor theory of mind, children literally think you are thinking the same as them, they are not aware that peoples thoughts are different.

A SALT can test theory of mind quite easily, Dd3's was not yet developed at 8 and I dont think it is much better now.

It causes problems with empathy too because dc's genuinely dont understand how other people are feeling.

Allonsy Sun 18-Nov-12 22:04:09

My ds talks abit like that as well but there would of been lots of its not fairs! thrown into too NOBODY can eat unless he can. He does tend to name everyone too, often uses peoples first and last names and still call his 1 year old brother the 'baby' rather than his name. He also starts EVERY sentance with guess what? even tho i cant possibly know!

I did the sally anne test with him months ago though and he got it so theory of mind obviously ok.

Ineedalife Sun 18-Nov-12 22:12:47

Lol@ Guess what...

Dd3 does that all the timegrin

Lougle Mon 19-Nov-12 12:37:23

A couple from today:

"Patch (that's the dog, btw) can have tuna because it is strong for him!"

I couldn't work out whether that was meant to be that tuna makes Patch strong, or if she was using 'strong' where 'good' would normally be used.

"What is making all that pieces of noises?"

I was playing a wordament on the computer, and the noise was the swipe of the letters.

DameMargotFountain Mon 19-Nov-12 12:41:34


DD often says things like 'the night we are just going to have, not like the one we had on the day before this one'

she is DX ASD too

Lougle Mon 19-Nov-12 12:59:36

I'm going to keep talking note of these things, so that if I ever manage to get a paed to show interest, they might refer to SALT.

Badvocsanta Mon 19-Nov-12 13:56:50

I would class that as word finding problems Lougle.

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