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AS parenting?

(9 Posts)
joannieL Tue 16-Aug-05 14:43:21

Does anyone know of info for/about Aspergers'people as parents? A neighbour has AS and I am concerned for her and her childs' mental health, which seems to me to border on abuse, but wanted to find out more in case I am misinterpreting the situation.

Davros Tue 16-Aug-05 18:39:23

You're not talking about my sister are you? No, seriously, I know dad with AS who has a child but I suspect the mother manages the situation. If I were you, I'd call the National Autistic SOc helpline. THere's a few mums here who have, or suspect they have, AS and they seem to manage fine, hopefully some will post later. Is she a single mum?

notsobrave Tue 16-Aug-05 18:53:02

i have as and cope fine as a parent, my problem is with social situations, interactions etc, however i can appear very blunt and do tend to speak my mind!, as far as i know, no one in rl knows i have as apart from my mother and my eldest dd,you could try the national autistic society.

jenk1 Tue 16-Aug-05 21:35:23

i have AS as well as my son and father, when u say bordering on abuse what do u mean exactly?

joannieL Wed 17-Aug-05 12:09:08

Hi, thanks for info. Didn't mean to offend or suggest AS people aren't good parents Jenks1. She shouts at him for literally hours and is obviously very distressed herself,and he then wails as if hurt for some time(he is 10) but this may be him having tantrum, as he has ADD himself. There is more but I will get in touch with NAS for advice.

jenk1 Wed 17-Aug-05 12:15:45

sounds like her anxiety levels are raised and she,s taking it out on her son u are right to be concerned as AS can lead to anger, my dad used to be very angry when we were children although he never hit any of us we were scared of him as he would blow up for no reason, have just reread my post and it sounded as if u offended me-u havent its just me being blunt with words as usual!
someone on the chat forum posted last night about suspected emotional and maybe physical abuse of children near to them-it might help u to read what people have put..just thinking the lady near u with AS wont realise how bad she is sounding my dad never did and was always surprised when we were upset,i sometimes can get angry with DH and he will have to tell me when i am going too far as i never know,its not an excuse for the behaviour to her child though.
let us know how u get on

joannieL Wed 17-Aug-05 12:24:11

Thanks Jenk1.I am worried the mum may read this, so I was being cautious. She is a single mum so has no help, and her son is very difficult, possibly has AS himself. This makes it more difficult to tell if his screaming is just odd behaviour or being hurt.She constantly tells him he is no good, "a nutcase" and is making her life a misery. Often after a particularly bad outburst he is then kept indoors and is completely silent for a whole day. He is very hyperactive normally, so this is worrying. I will look at post you mentioned, the AS is maybe irrelevant, but a complicating factor.

jenk1 Wed 17-Aug-05 13:53:45

we used to have a boy who lived next door with ADHD, his mum used to scream at him horrible words you little c**t things like that and we used to be able to hear him screaming and crying in the bedroom eventually social services were involved-not thru us someone else must have phoned them-we were on the brink of doing so,anyway they took the boy off the parents and he is now in care but probably being looked after properly,it was a sad time for him but i saw his mum the other week and she said she cant believe the difference in him, she see him every month, me and DH just thought well we can believe the difference we knew why. Also my brother-in-laws mum fosteres children from abusive homes and the change in them when they have been with her is amazing,its not the right solution for everyone and hopefully it wont come to that with your neighbours

joannieL Wed 17-Aug-05 15:16:18

I will let you know what happens. Next time it is really bad we may do something. He is a such a strange boy that it is really hard to know what is going on, and I do feel sorry for his Mum as well as for him. It is beginning to distress our little girl,who's only 4, and thinks the world of him, which doesn't help.He is in our house a lot,and he drives us mad getting into everything and making up stories!It is really sad, he has made up this game called "Mr and Mrs Popular" where he is Mr Popular!

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