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And this weeks 'SOCIAL SKILL' i am teaching is "How to Hug & Kiss your MUM...!"

(7 Posts)
MrsEffervescent Mon 15-Aug-05 22:38:51

Tom and I are having hysterics at the moment...with the ultimate aim that i get him 'trained' in how to hug and kiss people in an appropriate manner!!!!

He's 11 (going on 20 ) and having Asperger's Syndrome he has to be taught this side of things as much as he has to be taught everything else that other 11 yr olds will learn from their peers???

Basically...he's almost as tall as me and has suddenly become unsure of where to put his hands etc when he hugs me...a few times i am sure he has deliberately put them where no boy should put his hands!

Kissing...well talk about saliva dripping soppy kisses!!!

So we have finally agreed that the way he should hug me and other family etc.... is he sould hug over the top of their arms...not putting his hands on their ribs etc.... and it is working!!!

But we really are having a laugh!!!

Anyone else having to teach such things????

coppertop Mon 15-Aug-05 22:42:38

LOL! I hope you're making notes as you go along, MrsF. I might need to borrow them soon.

Ds1 is a little overenthusiastic with his hugging and kissing. Ds2 is now copying him. When we're walking down the street I can feel two little sets of wet lips kissing my arms. Cute but slobbery!

MrsEffervescent Mon 15-Aug-05 22:51:34

we went through a bit of this a couple of years back- but tom has now had the 'mainstream school' version of sex education...so unfortunately seems a little too enthusiastic on 'practising ' on me!!!!


It's quite a serious problem really...and last time the paed did refer us to social services (and they actually visited!!!!! yipeedoo!)...as at that time he was saying 'I want to have sex with my mum'.... now i find even beding down to cuddle him at night a 'tricky' situation as he just stares at my chest etc....and sometimes seems to DELIBERATELY 'accidently- as he says' bum into my chest with his face as he goes to kiss me night night.

i take this in my stride- and we are working on it etc...but he's off to secondary soon.... and i am concerned he may be too 'fascinated' by the female body.

eidsvold Mon 15-Aug-05 22:52:28

we had to encourage dd1 not to do open mouthed sloppy kisses..... she now kisses very nicely. SHe does want to hug everyone and so far the people with interact with are okay - you know therapists, swimming teacher, kindy teachers. But I know there will come a time where I will have to teach her she can't hug everyone and will need to ask their permission before she launches herself at them.

However - now that she is walking - I love it when she comes up and wraps her arms around our legs to hug us - and usually plants a kiss on our legs.

coppertop Mon 15-Aug-05 22:56:55

It sounds like a nightmare, MrsF. That's one of the things about mainstream schools that I find difficult - having to take the things that they tell ds1 and explain them in a more ASD-appropriate way IYKWIM.

jenkins88 Mon 15-Aug-05 23:13:13

We've just had a quite similar conversation with DS.

He must have seen some passionate kissing on tv and is trying to act it out with me and DP. I've had to explain to him that 'kissing with tongues' is something you do with girls, not mummy and daddy. Then I changed it to 'Only big boys and big girls can kiss each other', as I can imagine him trying to snog our friends/neighbours little girls.

Sorry to hear about your problem with good night kisses/cuddles MrsF.

Kelly1978 Mon 15-Aug-05 23:17:59

FWIW, this isn't just something that happens with children with learning difficulties, I can rememeber explaining french kissing to my much younger brother and him trying it out on my parents. Whoops
I think it is great that you and Tom are trying to work on this and having dfun, MrsF, good luck!!

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