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think I've done something stupid

(51 Posts)
Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 20:42:57

Ds1 likes watching videos of himself. Loves it in fact.

Anyway he found one the other day and we watched it together it went from when his first birthday to when he was about 2.8. And oh my god. Even after he was clearlly not developing normally (no pointing) he was so "normal". He was pretending to read books (all the intonation and sounds) and pointing at pictures in books, had a lot of words I'd forgotten - even at past 2. He was dancing around to songs and doing the actions. Our dp person saw it and said "oh my goodness when did he stop talking" (and we were watching a bit when I thought in my memeory that he had).

Anyway - whatever- clearly a regression going on somewhere (or a standing still). But -- even looking for the signs the only ones I could see were a delay in reaching out and no pointing. He was socail referencing etc. It was really weird. Very very very subtle signs.

So now (the stupid bit) I am sooooo paranpid about ds3 because the signs were so subtle I'm no sure I'd spot them. He did reach out on time, but obviously he's too young to point yet. Honestly I feel like I can't eat I'm so worried.

Tell me I'm being stupid- or at least that I can't do anything about it so I may as well forget it. Please! (or alternatively pack me off to the funny farm).

Socci Sun 07-Aug-05 20:52:34

Message withdrawn

RnB Sun 07-Aug-05 21:03:04

Message withdrawn

maddiemo Sun 07-Aug-05 21:07:30

I know how much I have worried about ds4's development and to a certain extent this worry is normal so long as you feel you can manage it.

I think it would be perfectly ok for you to ask for ds3 to have hearing etc checked and for you to flag any concerns.

I can't remember the age of ds3, is he eight months? I do remember that my autistic ds never held out his hand to request more, in a game of walking round the garden etc. He also never went through a phase of offering me soggy crusts etc when eating as a shared meal. However he may have been around the age of one.

I have a photo of ds3 pointing up at the sky at the age of about 15 mths, yet it was his failure to point at the age of two that was picked up by audilogy and he does not point now(although sometimes waves middle finger).

Have you told anyone how you feel? I know what it is like to want to fast forward a few years to know.

Not being very helpful, but really do sympathise.

coppertop Sun 07-Aug-05 21:12:43

I remember that feeling of paranoia with my ds2 so I'm the last person to be telling you not to be paranoid. At 6 months ds2 seemed to be NT but he'd always had ASD traits. It was just that the NT side seemed to outweigh the ASD side IYKWIM. At 6 months he already had a few obsessions - the colour red, circles, objects that could spin, and of course the washing machine . I'd also realised that he was sensitive to noise. It wasn't a complete surprise when he didn't start to point etc IYKWIM.

The reaching out on time certainly sounds like a positive sign so don't go running off to that funny farm just yet.

beccaboo Sun 07-Aug-05 22:27:29

Jimjams - I don't know, because i only have ds1, but if we have another I'll be watching them like a hawk. I know your ds had augmentin, but can't remember at what age - think you suspected that as a trigger?

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:32:29

please dont stress chuck


I know exactly how you feel though, holidays dont help make the mind unstable

Shall we rent a cottage next year for a few weeks? that wont stress our kids out obv and maybe use our direct payments to pay for carers whilst we are away?

no water near obv i would never rest!

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:33:02

I think the big trigger was thimerosal. now I know I had anti-D with ds1, and not ds2 but can't remember with ds3 (how I can't remember I don't know)- and anti- D had thimerosal (only found that out this week so not helping the paranoia). The antibiotics may have played a part as well- a further regression?

I don't know I think we've avoided obvious external triggers/complicating factors, but I'm much more scared than I thought I would be. When ds2 was this little we didn't know/understand the extent of ds1's problems and they were only just starting to limit what we could and couldn't do. Now there's more to lose iyswim (as I know how bad it can get).

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:33:37

meant holidays make the mind unstable! lol

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:34:08

I thnk I am going insane with the holidays Fio- I think its because I can't get out and do stuff. I need to get the PO but can't. It's very strange- definitely having an effect.

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:35:23

i can understand that i was totoally 'blind' when ds was born was just worrying if he was girl he would have 'retts; too fuck knows why

SleepyJess Sun 07-Aug-05 22:36:42

Can I join the SN Insanity brigade? Ds had a fit this morning.. (2nd ever).. been to hosp.. back again.. he's alsleep in bed and I am afraid to go..

Sorry for thread hijack.

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:38:23

i have been thinking about you and your ds since you said SJ

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:38:26

Aww SJ how old is he? I dread ds1 developing epilepsy- he fits the profile for the "type" that does as well.

Wine wine wine wine I need wine wine wine.

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:40:18

I dread d having them too as she is apparently typical

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:42:04

SJ- just read your thread. You experiences sound similar to my friend with her son- he has been seizure free for 2 years now and is currently being weaned off epilim. He's just been ill for the first time since she started weaining him off and he was fine- no seizures. xxxxx I think your concerns are very similar to hersxxxx

SleepyJess Sun 07-Aug-05 22:42:55

Yes wine would be good! (actually no, am also afraid to drink, in case of need to be 100% lart and sober or need to drive.. re: Doing something dramatic..) I have just realised, 13 years too late, that perhaps I am not cut out to be a mother!!

Fio I think he's fine.. can see him slumbering peacefully on montitor.. air bed all blown up next to him.. am afraid to go and get in it?! (Why?!) Mad!

JimJams, yes I too lived in fear of epilespy and used to incessantly question the paed about DS's likelhood of developing it. I hadn't asked for years.. and now it's happened! (I have always been scared of people have siezures actually.. I remember being terrifed of someone's mum who I saw having one when I was a kid.. now it's MY child.. serves me right!)

beccaboo Sun 07-Aug-05 22:44:17

Jimjams, do you have a gut feeling about ds3?

SleepyJess Sun 07-Aug-05 22:44:23

JimsJams, wish your friend was a Mner! Take it she's not?

(Thanks btw guys.. nice to chat to understanding ears.. I am a basketcase tonight..delayed reaction or something.. have been fine all day.)

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:47:33

No beccaboo- 50:50 I do remember spending weeksconvinced that ds2 was autistic at this age when of course he isn't. Sometimes I feel 100% that ds3 is fine, othertime 100% that he isn't. but no gut really.

Fio2 Sun 07-Aug-05 22:47:40

I fear it too, crikey you are not alone. i think alot of people do as it so dramamtic and impulsive (sorry not the right word, immediate I think) and so so sowrrying for you and you have so much to cope with anyway

as for motherhood, i dont think i should encountered it either, is that a normal thought for sn mums, it is for me anyway alot of the time even though I love them both

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:48:25

Always hits you aferwards SJ. Not a mnetter I'm afraid (she doesn't do the NT world! )

beccaboo Sun 07-Aug-05 22:49:39

SJ, you must be so worried - hope you are OK. And hope your ds is fast asleep and fine.

lovecloud Sun 07-Aug-05 22:54:24

Sorry for coming in on here but I was just reading a few of the messages below inc yours jimjams and i noticed you mentioned "pointing", is this one of the typical signs of autism? I only ask as i know someone who is worried that their ds maybe be autistic, he is 2.5 years and does not or hardly makes eye contact, points at everything and sometimes make sounds, also he does not show affection to anyone or toys like a teddy etc. sometimes if very tired he will hug his mums knee but that is it, he is a lovely child and plays well with my dd but there is somthing there that has been niggling my friend for along time, i have always been trying to say he is fine but the older her gets i am starting to wonder.
just realised how much i wrote - sorry but your thread just triggered me to ask.

Jimjams Sun 07-Aug-05 22:55:35

not pointing is a sign.

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