Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
Please hide me from all NT 5-7 year olds(55 Posts)
Usually I don't really mind anymore.
But this week I do (holidays?? lots around??)
They're just so - well - jaw droppingly WOW aren't they?
WOW meant in a Beirut way "You will marvel at typical development and realize how amazing it is"
I find it easier not to get bitter if I hide (or venture out only occasionally )
I'm so used to NT 2, 3 and 4 year olds now (ds2's friends) that they don't freak me out anymore. - So I guess in a few years neither will 5 6 and 7 year olds!
It is the two/three years olds who swim like fish and clamber all over the climbing frames in playgrounds without showing any fear or insecurity that bring a lump to my throat.
I remember last year being moved to tears (literally) by the siight of a family in a restaurant on holiday eating a meal. Parents + 2 boys about the same age as ds1 and ds2. Felt like someone had delivered a punch to the stomach. Anyway we went to that restaurant a few weeks ago with ds2 and ds3 and........ the food was shite
I find it so hard as dd being in ms it does hit home. Especially things like sports days and assemblies when it is obv. dd is slightly different. I also have ds to compare and everything with him is so much easier and as I have the memories of him at that age also makes me sad too.
please dont start this, i will lose the will to live
I'm hiding again tomorrow and pretending our house is normal
I have some weird achey bone thing so could do with hiding in bed all day
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
sorry i just read the comment about the food being shite and nearly pissed myself
oh I know - I spent a year agonising about that image as well. Then went along with a knot in my stomach- and well - truly it was inedible
So all the time you were feeling envious of Mr & Mrs NT they were probably looking at you and thinking "Lucky b@stards! At least they've had the sense not to eat this over-priced cr@p!"
I remember you posting about that Jimjams.
I find it hard when I see twin girls toddling round as I never got to see that. Then again I never had to run in two different directions!!!
Still find it hard to listen to other Mums moan aboutt their NT children, (although I do appreciate they can have it hard also!)
Mmm having one of those moments too Anniebear.
Bumped into someone, at the swings, who was in my postnatal group with ds2 (ds and her dd are 2 weeks apart in age). She has just had another baby and was so pleased to see me - all I could do was stare open mouthed at her little dd going up and down the slide on her own and calling out for her mummy. I couldnt get away quick enough!
As we have a NT ds1, I `know' what 2 year olds are capable of, its just that you begin to live in your childs own normality and then `THWACK' - its like having someone plunge a knife in your stomache or slapping you with a wet towel.
My ds starts at MS nursery in September, yet he cannot babble and cannot walk (he cant be considered for SN nurseries because he wouldnt meet the criteria as he has no real dx and is not `at this stage' considered `bad enough' )
God knows how I am going to get through that first day of dropping off at the nursery...no doubt you will hear from me on hear then!
It's children of the same age isn't it Merlot. I really can only handle NT 6 year olds for very short periods of time. Older or younger fine, but the same age. I feel like my face gets stuck in a fixed grin and I'm not quite there, and like you say someone is doing something to my stomach. Hope it goes away- don't want to find seeing adults diffficult in the future! I suppose then it will be children the same age getting married/having babies/leaving home - (maybe not in that order!) that will be difficult.
CT- they were probably thinking what a lucky family we were to have a nice quiet boy who wasn't hassling us to eat in the crappy restaurant.
Jimjams - you hit the nail on the head with `fixed grin' that's exactly it! Fixed grin but bleeding on the inside
I feel like I have rigor mortis after about 5 minutes of grinning inanely with a totally blank wooly feeling in my head.
It must be especially hard for you anniebear, wth twins.
I am pleased I'm not the only one.
Yes - it helps knowing you are not alone
This mumsnet board really is like a sanctuary isn't it?
This thread has reminded me of one of my first posts on this board (a very self-pitying one ). I'd got upset about some mums talking extensively about all the things their children were doing at nursery, and ended up in tears. One of the mums asked, is it beacuse 'our children are normal?'. NO, the sadness is because my dd is not developing normally, not because other people's children are developing normally IYSWIM. Unfortunately I wasn't with it enough at the time to be able to articulate that.
Merlot - My dd goes to a MS nursery for a couple of days a week. DH drops her off, which I'm very grateful for, as I think I'd find it very difficult to see her peer group on a daily basis.
However, the MS nursery set-up does make us laugh sometimes (although I understand the knot in the stomach/ fixed grin/ glazed eyes as well). Last week apparently the other children were rocking dd in her bouncy chair which she loved - it seems we're not the only people she has wrapped around her little finger
There's also several other children with SN who go to the nursery and both the staff and the children have been really inclusive. I wish it could stay like that.
I know exactly where you ladies are coming from.
I went to my half cousin's 2nd wedding last week and her bridesmaids were her dd (just younger that my dd) and her step dd (who was 13 last week) - my dd was 13 in April. I found it hard to see how these two were no longer girls but young ladies. They were joining our 'mature' conversations and they'd lost their child-like mannerisms. They were interacting with boys and were sooooo independant.
The first one up to dance was another half cousin (who has DS). After a quick prompt from the bride, the two 13 year olds went dancing with him so that was good to see. They were obviously used to having him around.
One thing I do dread is meeting up with children (or should I say teenagers) whom dd used to play with when she was very young. I find that very hard and I avoid it whenever I can.
A good point, however, is ds's friends seem to be older than the 'starers' and are mature enough to accept dd for what she is. We experienced that especially at a travelling circus we all went to a few weeks ago. Dd, ds and myself were one of the first in but ds soon attracted his classmates, especially a girl who has her eyes on him. It was the first time most of the children had come into contact with dd and they were fantastic with her. I could tell they were having a quick peek but they acted so 'natural'. In fact at Parents' Evening, I praised them to the class teacher asking if disabilities had cropped up in PSHE. She said that it hadn't but the school did actively promote 'caring for each other' and dare I say, with it being a church school, good morals etc.
|Total empathy with all thats been said on the thread. I wander is it just me or do you find as an sn mom nt children gravitate to you? Its happens to me alot i think its because i try so hard with ds to encourage his development and am so enthusiastic about every small achievement, NT kids love it when i marvel at their achievements. Ive took ds to summer club at the nursey(which i really like small classes spilt into appropriate ages groups) twice now, we are having a settling in period where i stay and just go off for short times gradually extending. Have tried to leave him to it and play with the other kids the shy one eat his lunch for me,the sad one stopped crying. Not trying to bragg just think may ask if they need any help at all, NEVER considered childcare as a career until recently. Hey even if it could just cover the nursery fees, astronomical of course.Just when i find somewhere that i think would be great for ds I need to win the lottery to afford it.
me too. I'm childminding a 6 year old at the moment (same age as ds2). I can have a real conservation with her! She is following me around the house -asking if she can do her "fun maths" book her mum left her later on and counting to me in spanish. Meanwhile my ds2 is running around the house shouting "ack ack".
Yes I find it hard with children of the same age but even worse are ones that were born when Ellie was around 2 and they have now caught up with her and over took her. I find that one really hard.
Remember telling a friend that Ellie had started pulling herself up (aged nearly 2) and she said "Oh yes Lauren is as well" Unfortuantly Lauren was 9 months old.....GUTTED was not a strong enough word!
Sensitive friend then Annibear! What on earth possesses people? I'm continuallly staggered by how insensitive (completely locked in their own world/up their pown backsides?) people are.
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