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Setting ground rules in other peoples houses

(13 Posts)
Jimjams Thu 21-Jul-05 09:32:57

For the past 2 years ds1 has refused to go upstairs in other peoples houses. Now suddenly it's where he wants to be. Very irritating because:

1. He's not safe around windows so I have to go with him. ~Yesterday at a bbq we were upstairs and everyone else was in the garden having a great time.

2. He obviously has no sense of other people's space so he'll climb into beds etc.

I can get him downstairs and off beds using the usual methods - countdowns etc- but then he straight back up again. Even tried distracting him with a microwave yesterday- no go.

Soooo how do I teach him its ok to go upstairs in some houses (ours, mum and dads) but not others. Of course ds2 will accompany friends up to their bedrooms to play which adds another shade of grey for ds1.

assumedname Thu 21-Jul-05 09:37:09

Jimjams - this'll probably sound really stupid, but here goes.

Can you teach him a colour association ie, that certain houses are 'blue' houses where he can go upstairs, (yours, your mum and dad's) and other houses are 'red' houses where he can't?

You could perhaps have a chart on the wall at home with the colours and different people's houses.

Jimjams Thu 21-Jul-05 09:43:02

too complicated I think

assumedname Thu 21-Jul-05 09:46:14

JakB Thu 21-Jul-05 10:01:19

CAn he open stairgates? Would it be mean to take a portable one with you and put it up? Maybe with a PECS symbol- no entry type thing?

Jimjams Thu 21-Jul-05 10:03:52

He hops over stairgates....

JakB Thu 21-Jul-05 10:05:48

Will keep thinking...

misdee Thu 21-Jul-05 10:09:58

2 stairgates? the portable fabric ones.

assumedname Thu 21-Jul-05 11:34:49


Jimjams Thu 21-Jul-05 11:40:34

we use those to get him to bed misdee - but I think in most stairs it won't work as they are either too wide or the handrail is only high enough for one- or he just climbs ovcer the bannisters at the side.

wads Thu 21-Jul-05 17:31:47

Have this problem too but more on the getting into other peoples beds side, or shutting himself in bathroom. Fortunately most people we know live on one floor so it's easier to keep track of ds. Also tend to stick to visiting good friends who know what an oddball he is! Very irritating though & have yet to come up with a solution. Am awaiting brilliant reply from other Mumsnetter...

Davros Thu 21-Jul-05 19:43:26

No brilliant reply here I'm afraid as we had this problem for years and basically hardly ever go to anyone else's house with him. The only thing that will distract DS from roaming around other people's homes is a garden and he can't play appropriately there Anyone know a good website that sells cattle prods?

JakB Thu 21-Jul-05 20:09:31

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