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Advice needed., 3 people in the last week have commented that they know someone like dd and those people....(16 Posts)
It has really got me thinking as tbh the past year dd has been showing more autistic traits and even though she came out non asd on the CARS I have always thought there is a possibility of her having AS but know it can take time to show.
There is also the possibility that it is linked to the language disorder as they do have overlaps with AS.
Dd does have so many things in common with children with HFA/AS and one of her best friends at the sn swimming is a boy with HFA. She seems drawn to other children with AS/asd too!
The things that have got me thinking and obviously the comments this week are:-
Talks to herself constantly, usually about the gamecube games. So if she is playing Super Monkey Ball a lot she tends to talk about that all the time to herself and even draws pictures etc. She even reads the instructions from cover to cover!!!! When talking to herself she puts her fingers in her ears too.
She sings to herself all the time and they are usually tunes from the tv
She is very bouncy and flaps a lot
She wants to make friends/communicate but tends to bounce and be a bit too in your face and doesn't know the right thing to say
Still eating things from the floor
Often changes the playmode on the gamecube and will play in German, Spanish, French which I have to admit we do find funny but all the same!
She is very eccentric and people love her and find her funny but she doesn't realise she is funny
She is very intelligent, infact spookily so. Ds who got all 3's in his SATS was always very infront and still is but she seems to be miles ahead, which although is a good thing isn't right for a child who is not even six (she could read at 3 btw!)
These are just some things off the top of my head but I just really need to talk to someone. Even dh said he thinks it's what she has too.
I just really do not know where to go from here really. I mean with the language disorder dx we are accesing everything we need. I also feel that maybe I shoud take a year or 2 to allow things to develop further so that it will be really obvious by the time she is 7 what it really is.
Just feel so confused about it all to be perfectly honest as just when I think dd is like this she changes!!!
But what would you do differently if she did have AS/HFA?
Nothing Jimjams but it is just annoying at times and nags at the back of my mind and the fact other people have mentioned it is annoying me too. As if they are then so should I! Does that make any sense?
yes, but then BH I get people tellling me alll the time that ds1 doesn't seem autistic (??? and he's severely autistic). I also have another "friend" who loves to tell me how autistic he is and how there's never been a child as autistic as him blah blah splurge. So these days I ignore commenting bystanders and listen to school and myself (and dh of course).
DS2 is getting the idea btw. DS1 was irritating a friends dd (who is also autistic) by turning the TV off today. She was growling at him and ds2 was saying to her "but he's autistic he doesn't understand" (he does! he was doing it to make her growl which he thought was funny).
The thing is Jimjams this is 3 people in 1 week!!! That's what has got me thinking really. I know nothing would change at all even the unit said if dd was ever dx with an asd not one thing, therapy or anything would change. I suppose I am looking for answers why in the past year she is playing the gamecube in french ??? and reading the instruction booklets from cover to cover. It's all very bizarre and does scare me a bit I must admit
but bh I still don't understand why it matters as such if you wouldn't do anything different. If she wouldn't be getting any extra help why not keep a lazy eye and see how she goes. I suspect you're getting scared of the a word again.
Jimjams I am honestly not scared at all!
What I was really hoping was that someone may identify with the things that dd has started doing this year.
Surely if I was scared I wouldn't be posting this but brushing it under the carpet. I do know that Language disorders do have overlaps with AS so have always been aware that there are similarities but it's just the fact that 3 people have mentioned is this week and that's why I am now iyswim
FWIW, my now 10 year old ds who is not autistic regularly used to play his CD-Roms in French or German when he was younger. In fact I interrupted that sentence to investigate the gales of laughter coming from the sitting room to find ds and dd watching their Spongebob Squarepants DVD in Dutch. Ds then demonstrated the a very passable version of the Goofy Goober song in Dutch
It's not, no! I didn't mean to trivialise your worries, but glad I made you smile at least
No honestly tamum you didn't
Dd is always doing quirky little things like that!
BH...I think what eats away at us is the need for a 100% certain diagnosis....and there is NO bloodtest etc to provide this.
And in my case because my boys appear to function so well in certain areas....mainly when I have organised them...made sure tat their 'boats are not rocked' etc... so well that if someone sees them at those times....then all is well etc....BUT..... it can flip over in seconds.
then the same people see me as not coping...and the boys are spoilt...and they are walking all over me...
basically.....yes BH...it's possible your DD could have ASD ....then again it could just be the 'overlap' between all the 'spectrum' disorders....eg a dyslexic lad i know hates change to routines...likes 'sameness'... takes things very literally etc.....but has natural empathy and understands the effect he may have on someone's feelings if he speaks his mind.
So ...he is definitely showing bits on the spectrum.....but at 11 no one thinks he is anything more than dyslexix...but ofcourse his challenge in life is difficult too...as people have the sterotypical image that dyslexia is ONLY about reading and writing.... which it is NOT!
For me.... i definitely believe with AS 'IT' can 'trickle' along quite nicely.... children who has parents who are consistent with them...and basically make sure all that triggers the child's 'wobbly moments' are kept to a minimum...that's easy to do when they are younger....then they start to try and be independant...maybe suddenly they want to do what otehr kids do...which in my case i had unknowingly avoided.... that being inviting 'friends' round to play....going outside the 'safety' of our own garden etc..... and for me there is then a clear illustration of how they can struggle.... as OUT THERE there is noone 'shielding' them ....noone to cover up their siocial blunders...so if they say something that sounds mean or uncaring...they are told so...full stop....and they have to 'take a back seat' and Share or take turns...which is usually so hard for ASD kids...so at home WE are a referee...we are there easing the child through so many 'moments'...we are not aware of hw much we do.... but it is painfully obvious when we are not there..... or if at school they have a different teacher who does not know them .
i think for me the 'grey areas' over exact diagnosis/wrong diagnosis...is NOT about fear,shame or guilt.... but more that i worry constantly that i am either doing too much (so stopping them 'learn for themselves'...or not enough....or the WRONG thing.
Best way i can explain how i feel is that say my son was unable to walk...and the paed said that if i did X,Y & Z EVERY day ...3 TIMES A DAY...for the next 5 years...then my son would WALK...so i'd dutifully go home...and begin......i'd keep going even if he were in pain...because i'd been told that what i was doing would BENEFIT.
Then say after 6 months that paed left ....and we saw someone else...and they said immediately that we were making him WORSE...and that we should STOP the thereapy/strategies......
That is how i feel..... I wish i knew what was best...i accept fully the AS diagnosis.... but because i get NO input form ANY professional service.... i read up on stategies..... try them out....find they work....and so i go on.
What i crave for is someone ELSE to do some of this for me.... to 'Agree' that they have the problems that i in effect 'reduce' by the use of social stories etc.......i spend hours and hours experimenting with methods etc....i just wish i had a guaranteed concrete list of what will and won't work.
my kids love watching toy story in german, they find it hysterical
When I first bought some french videos for ds2 (salut serge) ds1 loved them- would sit watching killing himself laughing. god knowns how he knew it wasn't english.
Hi BH, just catching up on MN after a typical weekend! Have you looked at info/books specifically about AS? Maybe try that just to "be prepared" or see if there's anything marvellous you could do that you haven't already tried or thought of. I doubt if you'd do anything different anyway. I think you've just got to absorb/ignore what other people say, easy to say I know.
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