what would you do?

[bambi06]

ive just found out that my son will be split from his friends in his next yr 1 class, all the children that he prefers to play with before/after school /in the playground, although his teacher says he is happy to play with all his class mates which is true but he does have one close friend that he trusts enough top go and have tea with[my son has asd], hes mainstream but does get stressed out as im sure all sn parents will understand by what i mean, when i had a meeting about him going up anyway to yr one i asked why hed been split from his best friend and they said it was all down to birthdays which cannot be true as my sons birthdate falls smack bang in the middle of all the other children who will be going to another class and when his teacher was asked where he fell in the class according to ability she said above average so it cant be that hes left out because of that,and i know the others who have moved up are bright children and they will be in a mixed of yr 2/yr1 due to class numbers! i cant bear to tell my son that hes not going to be with his friends as hes stressed enough about going up a class anyway and has refused point blank to going although with a little preparation he might manage it like he did first time round in reception. im stuck between leaving it be as his next year teacher is lovely and he does like her a lot..but also feel would he be able to cope with a mixed year class just to be with his friends and i know this is going to sound snobby [but im not honestly] but the ones who are staying inhis class are not the ones i wolike him to associate with as the parents are pretty rough and thats why hes got on so well with his present set of friends as they are understanding of his situation and are considerate and kind and helpful so i wondering whether the shit is about to hit the fan so to speak and all the work weve done will be lost . im terribly upset about htis and cant face a confrontation with e teachers as i`ll just start bawling as i know how my son will feel..what am i going to do ,please help....thanks sad state of affairs...

[gigglinggoblin]

i would speak to the teachers and tell them how you and ds feel. dont think of it as a confrontation tho - this is important stuff and they should be doing as much as they can to help. they probably dont realise how upset you both are

[midgeymoo]

I agree. It's too important to you to ignore it and perhaps if they know how strongly you feel something could be done.

[bambi06]

my dh[ i chickened out!!] spoke to the head who apparently was very sympathetic and understanding and made my dh feal reasonable in his request, however he explained that it was to do with abilities [why couldnt they have been honest in the first place] and that in his opinion, although he said he shouldnt favour teachers he has been put in with the right teacher for him as she will be more sympathetic to my ds feelings.. he said to give it a go and seee how it goes in sept and if it doesnt work out we can rethink the situation in sept and change then once hes tried it out so were going to wait and see how he manages and do lots of positive work with him on it. thanks anyway for your support

[Blossomhill]

Bambi - I know how you feel as we had this with dd and her best friend last year.
It has actually done her the world of good as she has had to make other friends and obviously that is hard for children with communication difficulties to do but also prepares them for the outside world when they need to adapt all of the time.
I am sure ds will be fine but I also completely understand your fears too