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The end of the world?

(17 Posts)
spursmum Wed 06-Jul-05 16:02:55

I have just been told that my ds(3 1/2 years old) has ASD. It's broken my heart and i can't stop crying. Why is it affecting me so much? I knew this was a possibility and i feel so guilty for being upset. He's still my sweet and loving boy so how can i accept this diagnosis and move on? Sorry for being so selfish and self pitying but i need some help!

coppertop Wed 06-Jul-05 16:08:07

It's not self-pity! Someone once said that when you get a diagnosis you need to give yourself time to grieve. It's a lot to take in, even when you've suspected for some time that your child is autistic.

Keep talking to us and let us help you if we can. xxx

misdee Wed 06-Jul-05 16:15:05

awwwwwwwwwww spursmum, wishi still lived downstairs. have a virtual cuppa. i feel bad i cant be there for you (it would take my mind off today). give yourself time to sob, then start looking into therepies etc. and the nursery he is at is excellant. see you soon.

spursmum Wed 06-Jul-05 16:19:30

You feel bad for me? I think your problems trump mine love! Am drowning myself in tea now and having a good sob. kiss and hugs the girls for me!! everything will be fine(on all fronts at both ends!!!)

misdee Wed 06-Jul-05 16:20:25

it'll be fine for you too. we could be supporting each other today over the kettle. how is your mum taking it? she mentioned ASD to me at the hospital in oct.

Dingle Wed 06-Jul-05 16:21:17

You have said it yourself already, he is still your sweet and loving boy! I am not saying it will be easy, but think of his DX as a way of learning more and understanding him more.
I can't really appreciate how you feel my DD has Downs syndrome and was DXd hours after birth, so I have never known her any differently IYSWIM.

You will have plenty of love and support here, there will always be someone around to share your highs and lows.

love and hugs,Dingle.xx

misdee Wed 06-Jul-05 16:22:10

peter still think your ds is lovely, says he is so cute. we may borrow him

sparklymieow Wed 06-Jul-05 16:23:08

Spursmum, I cried my eyes out when my kids are disgnosed with CP, felt sorry for myself for about emmmmm.... about 3 days, then picked myslef up and carried on, and I know you, so I know you will be the same..... BTW there is a fab school in your town with a ASD unit attached, maybe you should look into it.....
Come to Dolphins too, there is lots of parents there with kids with ASD. and when I get over to your area I can take you with me.....

misdee Wed 06-Jul-05 16:25:14

and you know laura, her little girl has retts, you wont be alone in that group.

macwoozy Wed 06-Jul-05 16:26:47

I know how you're feeling right now, a whole mix of emotions. My ds was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3, and even though I knew in my heart that he was autistic, to be finally told made me so incredibly anxious and upset. At that time I was given quite a depressing picture of his future, but now he's 5 I couldn't have ever dreamt he'd be doing as well as he is now. So although the future might look bleak for you right now, things will get better and easier.

misdee Wed 06-Jul-05 16:27:37

and you will have many chats with jimjams and davros, they know all you need to know!!

sparklymieow Wed 06-Jul-05 16:32:34

I know you will get through this, and as I was told, special kids have special parents and you are one of those..... I bet you are glad you have a dignosis after so long, I remember on Misdee's dd2's 1st birthday, you were saying that you felt something wasn't right with your DS, who is a lovely, beautiful little boy, and I know what its like to go through 2 years of people not listening..... (((HUGS)))

sparklymieow Wed 06-Jul-05 16:40:06

and remember not a word about me to your mum

spursmum Wed 06-Jul-05 21:21:14

my mum dont know anything!! i hardly talk to her anymore. i suppose the asd was the worst i had imagined but had a look on a website which said with the right help he can have a relativly "normal" life. misdee you can borrow the toad anytime!! will phone you in a couple of days, let things settle down for you. luv you two(misdee & sparkley) xxx

coppertop Thu 07-Jul-05 13:16:31

How are you today, Spursmum?

Every child is different but with an early diagnosis and help a lot of progress can be made. At 2.5yrs old ds1 didn't speak at all and spent his time either screaming or wandering around in circles. At 3.5yrs his language skills were still a way behind but he was starting to interact with adults. We had a lot of meetings to discuss the kinds of problems he would have at the local mainstream school (including the fact that he was still in nappies) and it was thought to be highly likely that when he went into Yr1 he would need to be statemented to get him the help he needed. He's now almost at the end of his first year at school and his teacher has described his progress as "astounding". He is doing so well that it's been agreed that he will no longer need any 1:1 help - particularly as he insists on the LSA letting him do everything by himself. His language skills have caught up with those of his classmates. He's been out of nappies since last summer. He is also (so his teacher tells me) one of the brightest children in his class and she feels that he will do very well. Now if anyone had told me 18 months ago that all this would happen I would've thought they either had an overactive imagination or were completely insane.

spursmum Thu 07-Jul-05 17:06:39

Well thanx for that, its cleared up a few worries for me. My ds is still in nappies but the nursery are trying to train him. He's well into the screaming mode which is hard as i have no one to take him off my hands for a while. But with everything that has happened today i feel very blessed that he is healthy and I'm sure I will get through this. Thanx for all the support and advice.

Davros Thu 07-Jul-05 19:23:45

Spursmum, LOVE your name! Don't feel bad about feeling bad iyswim. Not only is it natural but it is your right to feel that way for as long as you need to...... then you'll become a Mother from Hell! You've obv got a couple of good pals here already, well in the know about DLA etc. Come on here when you need to.

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