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unsympathetic health visitor

(23 Posts)
jenk1 Wed 06-Jul-05 13:41:31

i have just phoned hv re dd to say im worried about her behaviour and development and she said"what do u want me to do about it"
i am stunned, i said to her"when michael was a baby i was told i was being paranoid and obsessive but i knew there was something wrong,im not letting it get to that stage again with india,"she then must have realised what she,d said and has told me to start keeping a diary on things dd does that i think are unusual,sat here now feeling like an idiot and i even said "sorry for disturbing u". i asked for dd to be referred to a paediatrician and she said u will have to do that yourself through your gp "WHAT?" is it me or is she just not interested,another time she said to me when i said dd was a good baby and generally not a problem "well we know that its u thats the problem its always been that way hasnt it jeanette". i not flippin phoning her for advice again anyway

giraffeski Wed 06-Jul-05 13:45:09

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jenk1 Wed 06-Jul-05 13:48:00

YEP those were her exact words

giraffeski Wed 06-Jul-05 14:00:35

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Twiglett Wed 06-Jul-05 14:10:52

don't get why anyone would ever want to see a hv who IME are insipid go by the book people who have no power to actually help anyone out at all

sorry to any HVs out there but that's my experience

jessicaandbumpsmummy Wed 06-Jul-05 14:23:19

while we are on the subject of useless HV's - saw mine here for the first time at jess's 9 month check to be told she would refer her about her squint.... jess will be 1 in 2 weeks time and still heard nothing! Do i chase her or go to gp?!

Fio2 Wed 06-Jul-05 15:58:03

ffs! complain about her

I feel bad as I told you to approach your HV, i should have known from reading posts on here before that alot of them dont know what they are doing, ggrrr. Luckily both of mine are very experienced and good.

Go to your Gp to get the refferal but dont be fobbed off:9 honestly I would be livid

Merlot Wed 06-Jul-05 16:02:57

Sorry about your HV

Go to the GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Tbh, I think the fact that your daughter is delayed with her motor skills should be enough for a referral, without having to keep a diary of her behaviour.

jenk1 Wed 06-Jul-05 17:35:11

dont feel bad fio if it werent for your advice i,d still be sat at home stressing, i am going to see gp tomorrow and get her referred, i still can,t believe she said that to me though, DH was livid he said when hv has been round she has never paid any attention to DD and has only been concerned with my PND.i am not going to keep a diary of india i dont feel the need to show evidence of what is already there.

Aragon Wed 06-Jul-05 17:45:09

jenk1

Your HV is dreadful for saying such things. How unsympathetic and unhelpful. I'm a HV too and I would never, ever talk to anyone like this. Make a written complaint about her. Send it to the "Modern Matron for Community Care" via your local hospital. I guarentee it'll get into the right hands. She had no right to talk to you like this and you either need a new HV or no HV at all (you're not obliged to see them).
I'm so sorry that she spoke to you like this - it was totally uncalled for and her superiors need to know.

Hope it goes better for you with the GP

Mandy

Socci Wed 06-Jul-05 18:52:13

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SoBlue Wed 06-Jul-05 19:15:06

So glad your going through gp, i let my hv fob me off with i was projecting my depression on him at 18m. I then left it till he was 3.5 when i was sure and my ds was diagnosed 1st visit to the assesment centre as asd.

Tissy Wed 06-Jul-05 20:06:00

both of you need to see your GP for referrals to the paediatrician and orthoptist. HVs can't make those referrals themselves. They should however pass their/ your concerns on to the GP.

Good luck

Socci Wed 06-Jul-05 20:10:38

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coppertop Wed 06-Jul-05 20:29:34

Jenk - That's truly outrageous. Definitely complain if you feel you have the energy.

Tissy Wed 06-Jul-05 20:34:33

OK, socci, I stand corrected, but working in the NHS, in a field where HV's might be expected to refer to me, they don't . Ever. Maybe things are differnt in Scotland.

jenk1 Wed 06-Jul-05 22:28:48

i havent got the energy or want to complain, it would just be another thing to get stressed over, i wont be phoning her again. Fortunately i have an excellent sure start HV who is really nice, i shall just see her from now on, i still dont know why she said that though as a health professional they are there for support/reasurance surely?

KarenThirl Thu 07-Jul-05 10:24:25

Jenk, sorry you've got such an evil HV. She must be one of the 'old school' - apparently they used to all be like that in the old days but it's less common now.

HVs certainly can refer. Both my referrals to C&FP have been done by my HV who is an absolute angel. She's even offered to come out and be a shoulder to cry on if I need her. I got the impression that it was routine for HVs to have the power to refer on child related matters, and I can't see any reason why they shouldn't.

I agree with what others have said that you should complain about her. HVs are meant to give support to families, not tell them how crap they are. She's in the wrong job. Are there any vacancies for prison wardresses in your area, perhaps you could suggest she apply?

Good luck with the sure start HV.

jenk1 Thu 07-Jul-05 11:51:20

karen u have just cheered me up, i can imagine my HV as a prison wardess, my DH and sister can,t stand her in fact my sisters nickname for is is-its not very nice- femfresh!, i am going to ask my surestart hv to refer DD on, thanks for your concern

coppertop Thu 07-Jul-05 12:44:21

ROFL at Femfresh!!!!

jenk1 Thu 07-Jul-05 20:22:41

my really nice HV is off on long term sick

Davros Thu 07-Jul-05 21:08:23

Dreadful, go to GP, go to GP, go to GP!!!
Oooh, Aragon, can you be our pet HV? We've got genetecists and Speech therapists, we are building up a virtual health svs!

jenk1 Wed 03-Aug-05 09:19:19

i got a visitor yesterday-the prison wardess! she was actuallay very nice,asked me how i was coping and has applied for home support for me, AND she actually sat and observed dd and agreed that her development is behind and that it needs to be looked at. She said she is going to get me help from a specially trained nurse who helps babies with their development first before referring her to the paediatrician as they want us to wait until dd is 18months old. So when she left yesterday i felt very vindicated especially after her comments last month, it is so sad that you have to fight your corner concerning your child when you know as the mother that something is not right, you have to fight for everything in my health district even prescriptions, oh well thats my moan for the day, feeling a lot happier now.

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