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Asperger's...Feeling like i need another parent to 'see what i see' so that i can stop feeling i need to 'PROVE THEY HAVE IT"

(4 Posts)
TheRealMrsF Wed 29-Jun-05 22:26:30

This may ramble...buty i just wondered if there's anyone else who feels like me.

I KNOW MY BOYS have ASPERGER's....but feel that because ....

*the school say they are fine...

*social services say we don't have severe disabilities...

*Family say they look fine

etc etc i continually feel i am looking for examples to prove they are asperger's.

It's like when leigh flaps his hands or takes something too literally...i want to jump up and down and cheer and sout "See...he is asperger's"......though ofcourse there are non AS kids who flap etc!!!

It's just so effing frustrating to be commended by professionals for how well i devise strategies etc to help...yet that resourcefulness guarantees no one supports me...whereas if i did nothing...and the boys behaviour deteriorated...then i'd get noticed.

It's like when i watch tv shows about autism...i am constantly looking for bits that reflect my life...and there have been many!

I don't feel it's that i am trying to convince myself...but more that if i spent the day with someone familiar with ASD etc...and they noticed the triggers- at the same time i did...and they commented on i'd know that it's not just me seeing it!!!!!

christie1 Thu 30-Jun-05 03:27:04

Sounds frustrating. Maybe you need to join a support group with other parents with AS kids who would know exactly what you are talking about and would give you the support you need. Doesn't sound like you will get it elsewhere but you are the true expert on your boys.

PeachyClair Thu 30-Jun-05 09:43:07


As a mum of a child with Aspergers who has been refused help, I know where you are coming from- only my Husband and I believe he has it, we have a tentative diagnosis, but it's a little bit ambiguous.

Have you looked at BIBIC? (search on google will find address), they cold help you definitely, and they will do a free interview to assess before it goes further.

Otherwise, I would speak to the national autistic society helpline, they are excellent and have lots of useful information.

coppertop Thu 30-Jun-05 10:05:32

MrsF. It's so unfair, isn't it? If your boys were disruptive and causing trouble you would probably be listened to but because they are bright and doing well at school you get no help at all.

There are so many times in the day when ds2 is screaming and generally having a meltdown when I think "If only the Paed/SALT/OT could see you now......" They usually only get to see the smiling little cherub who trots happily into their office. As he doesn't yet have an official written dx the professionals aren't supposed to describe ds2 as autistic - despite them all telling me that they are certain that he is. The SALT from the CDC (different person to ds2's usual SALT) sneaked an NAS leaflet into the notes she had copied for me but still isn't supposed to say that ds2 is autistic.

I hope one day soon you get the help and support you need. xx

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