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I had a positive thought for us!!!

(15 Posts)
anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 10:52:05

Just the one mind you!!

I was thinking abotu how negative I am, and I soon as I start a thread about being sad about something everyone replies and we all feel the same!

One of the biggest things for all of us seems to be looking at other families and wanting so much to be like them, go to the park, cafe, play area and to give equal attention to our kids and to ENJOY it.

But if we were all like that I am sure we wouldnt appreciate it as much as we think we would.

How many of those 'other' families think "Oh this is bliss sitting here in the park whilst he plays" or "how lovely it is to go to a party and have no worries"

They just wouldnt think like that

So as nice as it would be we wouldn't appreciate it as much and I am sure it wouldnt be as good as it looks to us!!

Hope I am making sense, please say you understand what I mean!!!

Although thinking this hasn't made me feel any better and I still want to be like those other families!!!!!

anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 10:54:23

just re read and I dont think it does make sense!!

Just trying to say that if we hadnt all been through and going through what we do each day, that I bet we wouldn't think that our lives were as good as we think they would be

I will shut up now and go and get ready to collect the girls from play group!!!!!

Saker Fri 24-Jun-05 10:56:40

I know what you mean, I sort of assume, for example that Ds1 and Ds2 would spend all day playing beautifully together if Ds2 was NT but loads of siblings squabble all the time, so it doesn't follow that life is always easier.

Davros Fri 24-Jun-05 11:14:32

Yes, NT DD is a right pain and very demanding! (but all normal iyswim). I certainly express my negativity here and not usually anywhere else except to DH, so it prob does look like we're more negative than we really are on here sometimes.

anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 11:16:32

Phwee!! glad you understood!!

Sometimes I try to tell myself well if it wasnt for Ellie having SN, I wouldn't have the best friend that I have, wouldn't have even met her.

I wouldn't have the same understanding and knowledge I now have of SN

Grace would never have met a SN child and wouldnt have the fantastic knowledge that she now has for a 3 year old!!

and there have been lots of times that I have been able to give advice and support to others. I am sure there are more.

Now of course I would more than happily trade all of these things right now for my little girl to be healthy like her twin Sister

But as I am just having a positive 30 minutes I will be grateful for these other things I have because of Ellies illness

Just 30 minutes mind you then I will be depressed again!!!

anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 11:20:10

Davros, I always worry that everyone will think I am suce a moan on here! But at the end of the day I see you all as a fantastics support for me, which means that I tend to put down all my worries and concerns that I might not tell others.

I could put all the positive things down that Ellie does, and I do sometimes, but I don't need support and advice over the good things. iyswim?

Bethron Fri 24-Jun-05 11:26:06

Message withdrawn

MandM Fri 24-Jun-05 11:49:14

Anniebear - It's a case of the 'grass is always greener' jealousy isn't it. But, I'm sure, like you say, that those with the all that beautifully manicured pristene grass, don't appreciate what they've got. And I bet they moan about the mowing and the strimming, just like we do.
I'm not saying I wouldn't love a garden that looks like a bowling green but our dandelions, messy sand bit, toy filled ball pool and rusty, much used, swing will do me fine!!!!

MandM Fri 24-Jun-05 11:50:25

AB - and you thought you could waffle!!!!!

anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 12:09:04


you could write poetry!!!!!!!! lol

very nicely put!!!

Jimjams Fri 24-Jun-05 13:33:47

I know what you mean- I was walking along with dh yesterday talking about our holiday njext week (the minus ds1 one) and he said "oh my god I've just realised- we'll be able to go to cafes and things- that hadn't occurred to me".

I LOVE going to cafes/pubs etc with ds2 (only managed it twice I think) because its something I've always looked forward to.

The other weird thing when we're out with just ds2 or ds3 is that people stop and talk to us. Ds2 is a bit of a charmer so he tends to attract attnetion- and ditto for ds3 being a baby. When we're out with ds1 people just gawp or look confused or ii they're bastards, tut!

Merlot Fri 24-Jun-05 13:44:07

I know exactly what you mean Anniebear. It takes not having something to appreciate having it.

Before I had my ds1 (we had infertility probs), we were desperate for children. As soon as I had him I was yearning for a bit of time on my own! I suppose its all about balance.

anniebear Fri 24-Jun-05 15:21:58


I hope you really enjoy your week and all those cafes!!!!!

Fio2 Fri 24-Jun-05 15:43:17

so now we know jimjams spends all her time in the pub with ds2, tut tut hope you ahvea lovely time btw

anniebear it makes perfect sense

Pages Sat 25-Jun-05 21:54:08

Nice to have a thread that starts with a positive annibear and I know exactly what you mean. It's easy to look at other people's lives and think they've got it easy, but everyone has their problems, just different ones, and I was saying the exact same thing to DH yesterday.

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