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Can anyone tell me quickly have a meeting at 10am

(19 Posts)
claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 09:24:46

with school and TAMHS the focus of the meeting will be what we can do to help ds with self esteem and manage his anxieties.

I am taking some example visual timetables and sequencing tables, timers etc with me and i am going to suggest that the school use too.

Now i know i am going to hear 'we dont want to use them, as we dont want ds to feel different'

Could the whole class use them? pros and cons etc or would it be better to aim them just at ds?

debs40 Thu 12-Nov-09 09:38:13

Yes, yes as part of 'differentiated' teaching classrooms should be made 'ASD' friendly and lots of good teachers use these sort of schedules with young children.

However, your DS might prefer one a little more specific. You know him best so stick to your guns about advocating that if you feel he responds well to these things. I have drafted a star wars one for DS!

I get the 'don't want to make him feel different' bit too. Makes you feel like a horrible mum doesn't it.

Tell them it might only be short-term. Ask for a trial. When they see how it works they might be won over!!

Good luck

busybeingmum Thu 12-Nov-09 09:38:46

Message withdrawn

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 09:42:40

Thanks Debs, i feel like a magician with my bag of props

How did your meeting go with visual timetables, are they going to use them?

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 09:48:12

Busy - I have told them that time and time again ie dont you think that both ds and other children have already noticed he is 'different' when he is having a melt down and refusing to get changed for PE or sit on the carpet etc, etc.!

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 09:49:25

Must dash, thank you ladies x

debs40 Thu 12-Nov-09 10:19:16

Yes, but I really did have to argue and then start to do it myself anyway! Having a mum stand in the corridor with the schedule prompted them into action!

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 11:50:52

Meeting went kinda of ok i suppose!

They tried to fob me off with they already have a visual timetable in the classroom anyway, so it wouldnt help if it hasnt already! I explained that the problem for ds is transition, so they have agreed to prompt him to look at the timetable and tick it once one activity has finished and the next will begin - Im happy to give that a try for now.

No to sequencing ie the visual process of getting undressed/dressed and timers!

In the IEP i received last week, their concerns were ds seperates himself physically from the rest of the class, reading, roleplay, carpet time, sitting in groups etc, etc. Ds finds it difficult to build positive relationships with peers and often misinterprets emotions or actions causing him to feel rejected and isolated at times. Ds finds it difficult to 'read' other peoples emotions and actions and confuses reality with his imagination at times which involved in playground incidents.

When i asked how are they going to help him with the apparently he has made a remarkable improvement in a week and no longer does these things!!!!

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 11:54:06

Im gobsmacked, how the hell do you argue that, why do they want to cover over problems and wait for an explosion.

debs40 Thu 12-Nov-09 13:46:30

Mmmm, it is interesting isn't it. We kind of had the same problem. I was told 'he is like a different child since coming back from half term'. I felt like saying 'Eureka you've cured him!'

I spoke to my community paed this morning and she is speaking to the Ed Psych about training for the school. I think they demonstrate a complete lack of awareness but I also think it suits them.

Do you have anyone you can talk to like that? It was so reassuring to have her say 'I've talked over the IEP goals with the consultant paed and we agree they're barmy'. It is comforting to hear people agree. You still have to tackle these things but you shouldn't be doing it alone.

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 14:34:04

Debs40 - Im fuming with myself, i thought i was totally prepared for this meeting and TAMHS were present also.

I made the mistake of replying to SENCO about the IEP a few days before and asking for one to one help and telling her what i expected from an IEP beforehand. They knew if they said he had a problems, that i would be asking 'what help are you going to give him then'!

So all of his problems have now disappeared since last week, despite the IEP and SALT report from last week stating otherwise.

Senior SALT is going into school on Monday to assess for ASD.I feel its like a Court case with school, with me having to gather evidence to support what i am saying!

If ds isnt being disruptive, then he is coping and doesnt need help. He has stopped using his cards in school too, this is also seen as 'he is obviously coping really well and doesnt need help' he has practically become non-verbal in school with adults. He is retreating into his own little world more and more, the more he does this the less of a problem he becomes for the school and the more he is seen to be coping. I almost wish he would start lashing out and screaming.

Havent seen the same community paed more than once and have just transferred Borough's so totally new paed now, first appointment this month. OT doesnt return my calls and is in the process of transferring, so no in short!

debs40 Thu 12-Nov-09 15:04:21

I know exactly how you feel. It shouldn't be like that and you shouldn't be left feeling that you are always the one 'running down' your son's progress.

The fact is the community paed said to me this morning 'these things wax and wane' and they have to be switched on to the fact that just because he seems ok one minute, doesn't mean they shouldn't be helping any more.

Does your LA have a SEN publication page? Ours have where they set out all their publications such as the social communication disorder toolbox and their plan for identifying children with SEN.

I think there is supposed to be a parent partnership in each area which might be able to assist

I knwo that IPSEA etc can help but sometimes you just need someone fighting your corner or offering support and the trouble is the educational and medical side of things don't communicate.

You can always go straight for the statement - are you doing that already?

Must pick up DS now but will give this some more thought later.

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 15:20:58

I have a meeting SENCO next week to discuss changes to the IEP. I was going to wait and see what changes have been made first. She has already sent me a letter stating one to one, no funding etc. So im not expecting too much!

To be honest i dont fancy my chances much at the moment for a statement, i have no medical evidence to back up what i am saying, other than intial SALT report and Paed, dietitian reports stating 'mum says x has problems with' etc and then referring on. Still waiting on OT report from October 2008, have nothing in writing from her what so ever! (which is holding up transfer, as she cannot transfer until she has written a report, she really is crap!)The school will obviously say he doesnt have any problems, despite the fact his lunch has remained untouched since Janaury 2009, he comes home with poo on him whenever he uses the toilet etc, etc.

claw3 Thu 12-Nov-09 15:22:38

Oh and i made an official complaint about OT in August 2009 and she cannot transfer until complaint has been dealt with. Blackmail i call it!

WetAugust Thu 12-Nov-09 22:24:50

Ridiculous I call it.

I'm afraid you're going to have to take the gloves off now and just go fo it.

Who did you complain to about the OT - Pals?

debs40 Thu 12-Nov-09 23:09:10

Have they not given you a timescale to deal with the complaint? You can always write to the Chief Exec - I know another letter! Why is nothing easy? They should have an established policy which will give a timeframe for responding

WetAugust Thu 12-Nov-09 23:57:32

The problem is that in the time it will take you to exhaust the complaints procedure you are 'stuc' - without an OT assessment, and even assuming the 2008 OT assessment hits the doorstep tomorrow - it's already out of date.

I'd pres for a fresh assessment by another OT immediately via your GP.

You need a plan of action.

Immediate issue is getting the IEP right.

Thne you can move on to request for an assessment for a Statement when you can dictate to the LEA who they should seek advice from (and in that you can include an OT, which would prompt an OT assessment).

Only though a Statuory assessment will you get a full understanding of your child's needs and obtain the necessary support.

Best wishes

claw3 Fri 13-Nov-09 09:26:56

Morning Debs - Yes 25 days, i made official complaint to Primary Care Trust for my area, signed consent form etc at the end of August, the 28th to be exact.

Postal strike held it up, so reverted to email. Received email saying that person dealing with the complaint had been on annual leave and was now dealing with it. Perhaps i need to make a complaint about my complaint!

claw3 Fri 13-Nov-09 09:39:59

Morning WetAugust - We saw OT from October 2008 - December 2008, 4 x 1 hour assessments session in total. OT attempted some brushing techniques on ds at our last session and he took it rather badly, by tipping her bucket of assorting things to brush him with onto the floor and putting the bucket over his head, basically telling her to P off!

Ds was starting school in January 2009 and OT explained seen as the therapy session didnt go to well, she thought it best if we leave therapy for a while and she would work with him in school once a week, advise school, observe him etc, etc and this would take some time. She would then write a report and refer to Senior Paed, contact me and have some more therapy sessions.

In June, the school advise me she had been into school twice, once in January and again in March and that she hadnt been to school since. I moved house in July.

Since my complaint, she has been into school once in October 2009, for the sole purpose of writing a report and transferring him.

IEP should be interesting, as concerns they had last week when it was written, have totally resolved now.

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