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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

you don't even have to be brain damaged now to be terminated...

(29 Posts)
sarah293 Mon 02-Nov-09 08:32:28

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addictedtomn Mon 02-Nov-09 08:43:43

here wink

sarah293 Mon 02-Nov-09 08:52:12

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kreecherlivesupstairs Mon 02-Nov-09 08:57:28

That's a sad situation. I can't even begin to think about how I would deal with it. I know that my dh would want the child to be treated and their life extended. I am not so sure however. I suppose I must be very thankful that I've never been in that situation nor am I likely to ever find myself in one similar.

sarah293 Mon 02-Nov-09 09:00:42

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addictedtomn Mon 02-Nov-09 09:25:39

that is so sad, and just horrible. he knows what is going on around him ffs.

but at the same time, i dont know how i would feel in that situation, but right now i feel that it os so wrong

r3dh3d Mon 02-Nov-09 10:03:48


I think what is interesting (and horribly familiar) is the angle that the doctors have decided what his quality of life is, and persuaded one parent but the other disagrees. [No telling whether that is what is actually going on of course, this is the Daily Hate, after all...]

Are they actually trained to do this? Is "assessing quality of life" a major part of the medical degree course? What do they base this decision on? Who sets the criteria? Because I very much doubt that any of them know from personal experience what that child's life is actually like.

LowLevelWhingeing Mon 02-Nov-09 10:08:52

How awful that someone gets to decide what a quality of life is. And the horrible comments at the end:

"then let the father have the responsibility of looking after the child for the rest of his life
- George, Hitchin Herts"

that is fucking vile.

5inthehousesofparliament Mon 02-Nov-09 10:12:54

I read this yesterday in the Sunday papers. So very sad for all concerned.

LLW, I hate reading the comments at the bottom of these type of articles, always from nasty small minded people.

sarah293 Mon 02-Nov-09 10:26:10

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2shoeshissbangwhoosh Mon 02-Nov-09 11:03:49

didn't read the whole thing as thses things rile me too much...
imo it is all down to money

Pixel Mon 02-Nov-09 16:05:53

I can't see any comments.

busybeingmum Mon 02-Nov-09 16:34:16

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sarah293 Mon 02-Nov-09 17:30:42

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Pixel Mon 02-Nov-09 21:15:27

Oh I can see the comments now. I see what you mean, there are some vile people about.

Poor little boy.

sarah293 Tue 03-Nov-09 08:24:18

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2shoeshissbangwhoosh Tue 03-Nov-09 08:27:06

must admit I don't get it, if the dad is willing and able to look after him, why is the mum insisting he should die?

Debs75 Tue 03-Nov-09 15:17:41

I really feel for this couple, they have a very sick child to care for and like most parents are not on the same track.
I know there are some on here that have more of an insight to how they must feel then me and I don't wish to offend them in anyway.

I don't think the Mum really wants him dead she just can't cope seeing her child in anymore pain. As I feel most of us would feel. She may have lost faith in the doctors and feels this is the only way her son can be at peace and that the family can get on with their lives.
(don't shoot just trying to be objective)
The father on the other hand can see his son is alive and wants to fight for him every chance he can get. He may be emotionally stronger then the mum, who knows.

The sad thing is that it is all over the news and whatever the ruling it will set a precedent for future cases.

sarah293 Tue 03-Nov-09 15:20:35

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Debs75 Tue 03-Nov-09 15:39:49

Riven that's one of my worries. By going to court with this they are comparing their case with everyone elses which is wrong. What they are going through is personal and it is sad that it is being broadcast around the world.

sarah293 Tue 03-Nov-09 17:03:08

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2shoeshissbangwhoosh Tue 03-Nov-09 18:04:12

I hate all this judging of quality of life,
it sounds like this child does have some and would have more if helped.
Riven I can see where you are comming from and that is why this case worries me, if this boy is allowed to die I think it will send out the wrong signals to the "anti's"

itsmeolord Tue 03-Nov-09 20:55:19

I heard some more about this on radio 4 this evening. It seems the doctors are asking for this as they feel that if the child is cared for at home, if he became ill or something went wrong with the tracheotomy then he would have a painful death. They are saying that withdrawing treatment gives him a dignified death, his mother agrees with this.

I think it is fucking awful. I've posted on the other thread in news so I won't repeat myself, I just think it is utterly fundamentally wrong to say that a child should be allowed to die because of a "what if".

Someone on the other thread said that withdrawing his treatment wasn't killing him, it was allowing him to die. I disagree, they would be neglecting his needs to cause death, that is killing him in my book.

I really don't think I will ever see that this sort of thing is the right thing to do.

Pixel Tue 03-Nov-09 21:30:03

In the paper the doctors were also saying that the fact that he has normal brain function would make his life a 'miserable, sad and pitiful existence', because as he got older he would 'catch glimpses of what others could do'.

Doesn't mean he'd rather be dead though does it?

I don't know, he obviously has a lot of problems and I've no doubt his mother loves him and wants to do what she thinks is right. But I can't help feeling he deserves a chance. I also wonder if his mother is being swayed by the doctors' doom and gloom scenarios. We hear all the time on MN about people who have children with DS who were given a very bleak and pessimistic view of what life with Downs is like by doctors, only to find that the reality is very different.

madwomanintheattic Thu 05-Nov-09 01:50:43

ugh. i feel quite sick.

i couldn't handle dd2 being suctioned at all - i had to leave the room, and it was awful to watch her slowly turning blue until they managed to get her airways clear and get the oxygen back on, but i can't get my head around this at all.

i'm also horrified by the nt comparison - surely they are not really suggesting that any child who does not follow a normal developmental trajectory is automatically an object of pity and the subject of debate as to their worth, and ultimately, existence?

this is a child that expresses pleasure in the presence of loved ones, enjoys hand and foot painting, banging a drum, and scrunching foil? and has on two occasions so far sustained himself for a period of time without a vent?

please god none of our children end up in this hospital.

i don't understand the trache issue. hopefully the 'expert' will assess if he is a candidate and give a likely outcome. it must be awful for one parent to live in hope and the other to not want to know the outcome...

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