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After yesterday's party, DS's school worries me

(8 Posts)
debs40 Sun 01-Nov-09 10:45:10

DS (6) had a halloween party yesterday. 6 crazy boys from his class and a couple of littlies in tow.

One of the mums stayed as her son, like DS, is nervous at parties unless their his own!

Now, I know I've been prattling on about DS and school not understanding things but I was even more alarmed about what she was saying about her son and school.

Her son hasn't really spoken in class since starting Yr2. He is very shy and just won't do things if he thinks he can't complete them. He also has sensory and other routine issues (although she didn't know that is what they are called and knew nothing of ASD, it was clear that is what they were). I told her about DS and his assessment (which has not come from school) and she was quite shocked as her son is very similar. Her son is starting to fall behind and struggle.

He cries going to school and once, when they had to sew a puppet in a lesson, everyone was told to finish before he had even thread the needle. He told her this later. The teacher said she had noticed but had left him to see how he managed hmm

Anyway, there is another boy in DS's class who has had rela problems with writing. He just won't do it. The teacher has mentioned this to the mum but not suggested anything. This has been going on for months (since last year). In the end, another mum, who is a reception teacher, gave her some strategies to get him going and they have really helped.

Now, I'm thinking, what is going on at this school? No wonder DS was the least of their worries when they have other children with difficulties who are not even been offered help or support.

Surely these kids should have been picked up and helped and not allwoed to drift into Yr2 like this.

debs40 Sun 01-Nov-09 10:46:56

By the way, this school is Ofsted 'outstanding' ...mmmmmmm

bubble2bubble Sun 01-Nov-09 11:32:33

I have 2 friends with DSs at supposedly excellent primary schools who were really struggling ( age 7/8 ) & have both been recently disgnosed with APD, visual perceptual difficulties, sensory issues etc etc. Their teachers noticed nothing. It seems to be the norm, unless a child is very disruptive in class, to just do nothing sad

debs40 Sun 01-Nov-09 12:35:20

It's a bit of a shocker but maybe I expect too much.

I can sort of see why they didn't think DS needed help if they have all these other children with more obvious difficulties to deal with but then they're not doing things about those children either. And they're obviously not doing 'ok'.

Who are they directing help at?

magso Sun 01-Nov-09 12:45:15

We had trouble with ds ms school ( we moved him to sn school once we got a statement). It was not that they did not recognise difficulties, but that after a change of head they refused to give support, concentrating on other issues like behaviour in the school as a whole and pushing the more able underacheiving children.

After we got ds statement (he has mod/sev LD and asd so needed high level support which he did not get) other parents asked me for help. It occured to me that if we had banded together earlier all our children might have benefitted and the school many of us abandoned may have better matched its good inspection rating. So I wonder if that is the way forward for your ds school. Knowing the law, the system and the unwritten local policies is crutial. I wish you sucsess.

VampireSoupAndPeachyPie Sun 01-Nov-09 13:12:11

It would certainly worry me about the school Debs, the ione the boys went to that was a nightmare could easily fiit your descritption and if it si like it I would say- run.

The ald with all the routine issues etc- just a thought but has he had a good eye test recently? I'd suggest that before screening for ASD. It may well be (esp.as you have met him) but a lot of it could be related to eyes as well.

And the writing kid- sounds like ds2, dyslexia and possible dyspraxia /ADD, our LEA doesn't advocate even considering looking att hat until Yr3.not a fan of that myself<<big understatement>>


My experience FWIW and after a few schools (we moved when ds1 was in Infants,now they're in Juniors) is that when you have an atypical kid, SN or not, you should ditch the league tables. A less higha chieving school with experienced SN staff and provision, and (crucially) a warm ethoss outranks a high achieving academic every time. The older boys attend one of the latter now and whilst it is perfect for ds2, i regret letting ds1 ever go there. It's not the schools fault in this instance- SENCO is lovely, just completely and utterly overwhelmed with workload in a school not set up for it.

Our school never picked up anything with ds1, with ds3 thy did but it took a good while, nothing with ds2 (and he didnt speakk clearly until yr2 at least), missed a friends childs AS and epilepsy...... they just are not the experts at what its all about. Whilst ds3 attends a funny little school- its on a council estate but one in the middle of nowhere like a village and with one class per year plus the KS1 and KS2 SNU clases. They have a challenging intake- and it is the warmest,lovliest most welcoming place I could wish for. We don't want to move, but should our landlord ever want this palce back, it is possible we would shift out there becuase whilst its nothing like as posh as here, the schoolmroe than makes up for it.

debs40 Sun 01-Nov-09 13:53:27

My DS started at another school as I tried to avoid the 'high achieving' pushy type too. That school turned out to be complete poo and was in a bit of a crisis phase awaiting a new head. But it fed into an incredibly pushy crammar for the local grammar and we just wanted to avoid that.

This school is much nearer and quite new and has done well to get its rating BUT I think things are creaking at the seams, not least because the SENCO is also deputy head and often covering for classes and the head. He is a good bloke, and was DS's teacher last year but this will be the first time I've seen him this year.

Peachy don't know about the little lad and eye test. In lots of ways, he's much more able to communicate and socialise in an age appropriate way than DS so it could be something like that. He's such a lovely little thing and I just think that if I was a teacher I wouldn't want children crying their way to school and sitting there in silence. sad

I will try and have a full and frank discussion on this on Wednesday when I have been permitted 30 minutes to discuss with SENCO and teachers!

VampireSoupAndPeachyPie Sun 01-Nov-09 14:34:14

' not least because the SENCO is also deputy head and often covering for classes and the head If she's head of RE too then it is our school PMSL.

wink

Worth mentioning about the eye test- I have quite big eye issues myself and I know that if left unaddressed they can cause real hardship keeping up, which can lead tos choolr efusal / tears, confidence plummeting, that sort of thing. Worth ticking the box for anyway I think. It was the threading the needle thing that amde me wonder- could be that, or even dyspraxia... or indeed motor control issues associated with ASD. I don't (as in ever, for any reason) sew becuase I can't thread a needle (cannot even see the needle threader blush) so have empathy with the poor kid.

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