DD (3 last week - ASD) gets really really excited when she looks at me, if she is sitting in her highchair and drawing with me for example. She starts shaking her head excitedly and gets all sorts of tics and twitches in her arms and shouts "it's mummy, it's mummy". Which is nice, and flattering but it's almost like a happy meltdown, and it means I almost cannot interact with her as it's too much for her.
Of course most of the time she ignores me, but when she can't get away she gets over-excited.
I don't have exact experience...but was thinking how lovely it sounds ds used to do something which was kind of similar. He used to go to hug someone spontaneously (me or his sister usually) and become overcome with emotion and clench his jaw and sort of shake at the same time as hugging. He still clenches his jaw when he spontaneously hugs his sister...but reins in the other things
DS2 used to do the whole "jaw clenching, fist clenching, shaking" thing when he got over-excited about certain things and couln't express himself. Seems to have calmed down since he has become more vocal.
Gosh, can't actually remember how long ago his last one was, isn't it strange what you forget about their behaviour!
My DS still goes up to his sister regularly and hugs her round the middle when he is excited (she is 7 and he is 4) and then hugs tightly and jumps up and down. Drives her potty but he clearly likes the feel of it Hoping he grows out of it too
We used to get the vice-like hug. Everyone would say "ah how lovely" and I'd be gasping and trying to get free! Another common one is the chin dig where they sort-of hug you and dig their chin into your shoulder really hard. Those sort are sensory I suppose. We also had the thing where DS would stare, particularly at me, and then get cross when I looked back at him. DD (NT) went through a little phase of "don't look at me" but it was less intense and didn't last long. How I laughed when he was described at school as "attention seeking with excessive eye contact", how great for a child with ASD?!! We've also had lots of experiences where I've taken him to a favourite activity (trampolining in particular but also swimming) and he would get upset and difficult. I think he was overwhelmed with excitement and emotion at doing something he loves, couldn't handle it and then inadvertently spoilt it, not always but now and then.
DD does the chin hug thing. And the "fixing you with the unwavering basilisk stare" thing. Does the "It's mummy, it's mummy" thing, too, but not quite as intense as FGFTM's LO, but then she's a bit older (5).
It sounds as if she really wants to interact, which is lovely, but can't quite modulate the intensity of her response. DS2 is similar - loves to hug and kiss but does it rather too intensely. Interestingly enough, though he does occasionally hug and kiss his friends at school (who all cope with it very well!) he doesn't do the looming, staring, shaking with excitement thing, but is actually very gentle.
Pointing things out is GREAT . Ds2 (7) has just got pointing to ask for things but not to share attention.
Yes, I am pleased about the pointing out, every time we see a bus she squeals and shouts "there is a bus!"
Still doesn't want to interact with other kids though, I was on playgroup duty today and one wee girl REALLY wants to play with DD and keeps throwing her arms round her, holding her hand and giving her toys and DD just runs away...wonder if that will ever improve too...
DS2 took no notice at all of other children when he was 3 - he was even distant with DS1, which was very sad as he'd been devoted to him up until about 18 months old. Gradually his interaction with DS1 has improved and now that he's in a mainstream class with lots of little girls who are very keen to be friends with him, he is finally responding to his peers as well - and even initiating interaction. So I am sure it will improve - you just need to find some determined playmates (and probably wait til she's a bit older if our experience is anything to go by).
fgftm - i was thinking it sounded lovely too. my ds would burst into tears of relief and hug me to death when i picked him up from nursery - he'd actually bowl other children out the way in his haste to get to me. This is after playing happiliy there all morning.
sphil - i'm still waiting for my nearly four year old ds to play with rather than alongside - he's not asd as far as i know but is behind without a proper diagnosis. it's good to hear of other kids that do learn these skills
It was lovely as it was so different from anything he'd done before.
Talking of playing, DS1 (who has just been diagnosed with dyspraxia but generally gets along fine) didn't play with other children until he started school - and even then he was always on the edge of a group. It took a couple more years before he started initiating games. Now, at 8, he is excellent 1:1 but still struggles sometimes in a group.