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Help - my 13 ds alienating all his Facebook 'friends'!

(9 Posts)
cinnamontoast Thu 15-Oct-09 13:43:04

My 13-year-old DS, who has mild Asperger's and dyspraxia, has just joined Facebook - he said he found it hard to talk to the boys at school but that it might be easier online. Great idea, I thought, but he is annoying the hell out of them all by correcting their spelling, punctuation and pretty much everything else. They all write in textspeak,but he posts rambling (but beautifully grammatical!) sentences. A few tolerate him but I have lost count of the number who have told him to f... off online. Now a boy has threatened to break his legs and shove them up his arse and I am getting seriously concerned. DS thinks they're just joking and he's getting on splendidly. He just doesn't know how to 'read' people and doesn't realise that they don't want to be corrected all the time. Does anyone have any ideas how I can help him? I'd love him to have friends, and so would he.

ChopsTheDuck Thu 15-Oct-09 16:46:18

aww! I don't really have any experience with older children yet, but could you get him a book about text speak and sell it to him as another form of communication so that he doesn't feel the need to correct it all the time? Talk to him about literacy and different methods of communication, and differences in dialect, etc.

Marne Thu 15-Oct-09 17:55:54

Dd1 is 5 with Aspergers and already corrects peoples writing and speech grin.

Its a tough one, talking on line is tricky enough for anyone, i find it hard to know when people are joking and when they are not because you can not see their faces or read their body language.

I agree that getting him a book of text speak could help.

crace Thu 15-Oct-09 18:13:10

Could he have a peer his own age talk to him about it? My own son tends to believe other people, before me!

I agree that reading people online is a nightmare at the best of times.

RaggedRobin Thu 15-Oct-09 21:00:47

would you be comfortable with him joining an aspergers forum on facebook, so that he can chat to other people with aspergers? i know this doesn't solve the problem with his peers, but it might be more fulfilling for him to speak to others who have a shared experience.

cinnamontoast Thu 15-Oct-09 21:49:06

Thanks so much, Chops, Marne, Crace, Robin - all good ideas. He knows how to do text speak but rather despises it. Maybe I should get him to join the Good English Society or whatever it's called! Didn't know there were asperger groups on Facebook but will look into it, as I think it might suit him. What really worries me is that he doesn't recognise when people don't want to engage with him - it's the same face to face too.

crace Thu 15-Oct-09 22:25:17

My ds is just 13 as well, and luckily we've managed to swerve facebook, for now. I dread the day when he insists on it..

Does your ds have any SN clubs he could join, or an AS group you could go to, and get those people on his friends list? Hope some of this helps, thinking out loud for when my time comes!

RaggedRobin Thu 15-Oct-09 23:02:24

there's a very small icon at the bottom of the facebook homepage (a little picture of two people). if you click on this it will take you to the groups page and you can search for aspergers. there are loads of groups, and hopefully one which will suit your ds.

Phoenix4725 Fri 16-Oct-09 06:11:27

its harder to read people on fb as your trying to read between the lines and teenage boys are not always most patiant.Is there a uple of friends who he woul like to keep that maybe undertand a bit more

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