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how did you tell your DC about their dx?

(11 Posts)
iwearflairs Wed 14-Oct-09 21:52:29

I am wondering how to broach my sons's differences with him. He is 5 and a half, HFA/AS and has just noticed that his friend at school is an adult (his LSA) and that other kids just have child friends. I have told him that LSA is a classroom helper and not that she is specifically assigned to him, but it is only a matter of time.

He is bound to notice soon that he is the only one with a timer, a visual schedule, etc. I have told him that he needs help paying attention sometimes,

What do you all do?

defineme Wed 14-Oct-09 22:01:51

What you did, but then I told ds1 he has as over the summer (he's 7 and in yr3) because I've always been open with other parents and they were starting to tell their dc (in ds's year) to explain his behaviour - I wanted to tell him rather than a kid at school.

His younger sister understands a lot better than him (she's 4) and it has really helped her to have an explanation for some of his exasperating behaviour.

Ds1 just asked a couple of questions and then when I mentioned him getting the computer at school because of the problems he has he decided it was a positive thing and then hasn't mentioned it since-typical ds1!

I just said that the reason he worries more than other children, gets cross and finds some of the school work tricky is because he has as which means his brain works a bit differently to most people. I suppose the explanation would be different depending on the child.

lou031205 Wed 14-Oct-09 22:02:33

DD1 is 3.10 and has 1:1 at pre-school. I refer to the 1:1 as her 'helper', and tell her that her medicine (she has epilepsy, GDD, etc.) 'keeps her head from being poorly'.

busybeingmum Wed 14-Oct-09 22:03:34

Message withdrawn

iwearflairs Wed 14-Oct-09 22:26:24

Yes, that does help. I hadn't thought of books and I will have a look at the ones you mention. I think I will keep going as you say just saying the specific things he needs help with but and keep trying to help him with making friends. he's going pretty well but all the kids in his class seem to aware of his different behaviours (never one to blend into the background) but at this age they just think it is a laugh. I wonder though because DS is in some ways a bit beyond his peer age in ability to reason and notice patterns. I guess it is good if his awareness is growing...

busybeingmum Wed 14-Oct-09 22:37:58

Message withdrawn

logi Wed 14-Oct-09 23:09:20

I have been thinking about this too my ds is 5.10.Im not sure what to do for the best.

sarah293 Thu 15-Oct-09 07:47:34

Message withdrawn

troutpout Thu 15-Oct-09 08:29:13

ds found out as we found out iykwim
I told him what we were doing from the beginning when i first took him to the gp.
It's just part of his vocab now(and his nt younger sisters who is 6).He has found books on the subject really good too and his sister really likes 'all cats have aspergers' ,i think she can really 'see' him in it.
It wasn't untill the assessment that i realised he had already asked questions (in his head) about himself and had started to answer them in a negative way. He was mightily relieved when he realised there was an alternative answer to the way he was.

ouryve Sat 17-Oct-09 22:53:07

Busybeingmum - DS1 is 6 in December and I take exactly the same approach with him. Right form the start in reception, he was quite sensitive about the fact that he was taken away for certain things, like Speech therapy and OT and that he had a helper.

We frequently discuss how everyone is different. DS2 is also autistic, yet he and DS1 are very different from each other. There are children in his class who are really good at football, which much to his disappointment he isn't, but nobody reads as well as he does. Dad and I need to wear glasses to see clearly, but not everyone does...

catkinq Sun 18-Oct-09 21:23:24

I've been wondering this too as dd (9) is going through the assessment. She got really worried that she was mad when she was seein gthe ed psyc. I've been stressing differences and told her that the ed psyc wanted to tal kto her about how good her poems were and why she didn't like other subjects. Not sure what I'll do if she does get a dx though.

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