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In tears about school and that's just me...!

(12 Posts)
debs40 Mon 12-Oct-09 14:57:50

I am sooooooooo pissed off. I have been chasing my tail about school and DS all term.

We see SALT this morning who recognises social communication deficits and bats it back to school.

DS had an open afternoon today so I could collect him early. I spoke to one of his tecahers (he has two) and she basically dismissed my 'worrying' out of hand. 'He's really laid back at school, nothing bothers him, he's fine, there's no problem' etc etc.

I said I wanted to talk about what sort of help he needed as SALT had mentioned SA Plus, she said he's miles off that and that they would do a home/school book after half term but would talk about whether they would implement SALT's other suggestions e.g. a card to say if he's having problems. They might do it for the whole class and not just him.

This is a woman who hasn't read with DS in the last 6 weeks, didn't know I'd complained he was on a reading level way below his ability and clearly has no idea what his capabilities are. I said there was a difference between hitting averages and reaching your potential.

They clearly think there isn't a problem. They've ignored everything I've said about the hypotonia etc.

What am I supposed to do?

I've asked 3 times now to speak to SENco without joy. I'm sitting here in tears. It's taken me two years to realise the nature of DS's problems and we've had to go to so many gatekeeping assessment appointments for him to finally be referred for ADOS assessments but even the SALT this morning didn't recognise he was talking in a baby voice. They're all bloody useless

linglette Mon 12-Oct-09 16:36:44

Hmm, how annoying.

Is there a letter from paed. etc that you could show them?

Is there a summary of his challenges in existence?

Can you go to the head and ask him/her to be very frank with you? It would be useful if you could find out how they have pigeon-holed you (do they think you are frustrated because you are academically pushy, etc?). If you know what they're really thinking you'll be able to explain and convince much better

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 12-Oct-09 17:48:10


What do they mean he's miles off school action plus?!. Your DS should be on this plan as a matter of course seeing as there are already agencies like SALT involved!.
What sort of school is this?.

A stiffly worded letter from the paediatrician may do something short term but this won't change the school's attitude towards your son in the long term. They just have this ingrained idea that there's nothing wrong with him. Its all said out of ignorance on their part.

I'd now be looking for another school for your DS to attend and I don't say that at all lightly. This shower don't have the first idea of how to work with your son effectively let alone going the extra mile to get his additional needs met.

debs40 Mon 12-Oct-09 18:21:14

Linglette - The funny thing is that I have NEVER before raised anything about academic progress in the two years he has been at school. It is only now, as they heap the pressure on, that I can see that certain things will start to impede his progress.

He languished on books way below his reading level last year and I never raised a peep about it as I was more interested in getting him in shoes and to school without meltdowns!

At his last parents' eve of last year in July, the SENco who was one of his teachers suggested 'flagging him up' to the ed psych in September and they came up with a list of suggestions to help. This was however AFTER the community paediatrician had got on to the phone to them after I had asked her for help. His teachers last year did seem to understand what I was going on about and agree with it.

No one has ever said they don't think there is any issue and he was given three hours a week TA time to help him settle in his new class.

Now he has new teachers and the one I spoke to today dismissed me out of hand. I raise the issue of the reading books because if she doesn't know his reading ability, I'm seriously doubting she knows anything about him at all.

I translate it as 'he doesn't give me any problems, so we don't need to do anything'.

I'm just so upset as I've moved him once and I had great faith in this school. I've asked, again, to see SENco and done a long email to him and the teachers setting out our stall, explaining that we are asking for very simple accomodations to meet defined needs - e.g. a home/school book and some OT recommended adjustments.

I could scream!!!

linglette Mon 12-Oct-09 19:48:01

Crikey, I thought maybe there was some misunderstanding that could be cleared up but apparently not.....


<clutches at straws>

What's the head like? This is a head issue I think. Given that you don't want to move school again and he's unlikey to move class, you may have to be a bit tactful and use phrases like "I've come to see you because the information about DS's needs has not yet been passed on and absorbed."

I sympathise greatly. They are doing days of the week in DS2's nursery and I know, and have shown them, exactly how to teach him things like this using a calendard but I see no sign of one. Will have to mention it tomorrow.

debs40 Mon 12-Oct-09 20:12:13

I'm still hoping I will get to see the bloody SENCO at some point!

SALT has effectively discharged us with a list of suggestions for school to do with him. SALT seemed to suggest that social communication issues weren't what they do and could be catered for at school.

Teacher's view after speaking to SALT seemed to be that she would decide what was necessary! She spoke to me like I was a child. It gets me soooooo annoyed.

grumpyoldeeyore Mon 12-Oct-09 20:50:35

Does he have an IEP or could you ask for a formal meeting to update this to include the SALT suggestions - write to SENCO and copy to Head? You could then ask his previous teacher to be present as well because new teacher not had time to get familiar with your child + ask the SALT to come? But basically some professional has to take responsibility for ensuring the school implement the suggestions - i assume if he gets an ASD diagnosis you would get an Autism Specialist outreach worker or similar who would take on this role? Is your parent partnership officer any use? Not sure of the rules but I think a parent can request ed psych involvement? I think you need to start with the LEA Parent Partnership and see if they can help say that you want the ed psych to go in and assess and that school not implementing the recommendations and someone needs to take this on as its causing conflict between you and the school. You could say that the school are refusing to put him on action plus.

debs40 Mon 12-Oct-09 21:14:50

Hi, no there's no IEP, I don't think he's on the SEN register. He's hitting targets so no one is bothered.

Yet, they provided additional TA time at the start of term and put him in a social skills group.

This teacher today who works two days a week and has had him for the last 6 weeks has decided there's no problem and hasn't even ever read with him has decided there's no problem so there you go... I've clearly been wasting my time dealing with this over the last two years.

Sorry I'm just so peed off with all this.

mysonben Mon 12-Oct-09 22:45:31

Debs40, i feel sorry you're still having a bad time getting things sorted out with your DS'school.

I think if a child is under help/support/assessments from an outside agency like SALT, ed.phsy, Cahms,...they are supposed to be put straight away on School action plus.
That is what i understood when i spoke to SENco when i visited my DS's school for next year.
She did say 'any child involved with outside agencies... is put on Early years action plus/School action plus'.

I would persevere in trying to talk to senco and demand help for your ds.
I know it's a pain to have to battle all the time for basics. angry

Good luck, and keep your chin up! smile

debs40 Tue 13-Oct-09 08:20:25

Thanks mysonben.

I spoke to IPSEA last night and they were really helpful. They said the school were looking at achievement only and not considering potential or the fact that outside agencies were involved to support DS.

However, they thought that SA Plus was dependent on the school asking for outside intervention rather than the fact of outside intervention - if that makes sense.

DS's teacher emailed me last night after I eamiled both teachers and SENCO requesting a meeting and setting out the history to this and our concerns. She was more conciliatory saying how they all wanted tom work out the best way to support him and how she would get the home/school book done today.

It is so upsetting to have to take this stance to get anything done. I feel let down

wasuup3000 Tue 13-Oct-09 09:52:34

It is upsetting for you and you are entitled to feel the way you do.

Have you applied for a statutory assessment at all?

debs40 Tue 13-Oct-09 12:30:23

No. I've got a meeting organised now at the start of next term and I will talk about that then. We are also seeing BIBIC at some point as well as OT so I'm hoping getting the reports together will help with that.

Thanks for your support guys. I would go mad without you!!

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