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Quick question - how to word this note to the teacher?

(11 Posts)
ChopsTheDuck Fri 09-Oct-09 07:54:35

ds1 isn't up to Games today. He could barely walk when I picked him up from school today.

The current situation with the school is that ds tells them if he isn't up to it, but that isn't really working.

I need to word this note so they understand he is NOT to do PE today without coming across as rude and demanding!

If I say 'Please may he be excused...' that is just going to sound like a request isn't it?

ChopsTheDuck Fri 09-Oct-09 07:55:16

yesterday even!

Goblinchild Fri 09-Oct-09 07:58:41

Not being difficult, why can he barely walk?
Is he spectrum?
I want to help you tailor your note!

ChopsTheDuck Fri 09-Oct-09 08:01:22

He has dyspraxia, Hypermobility and yep - suspected asd. Waiting for referral for camhs.

His joints get painful, plus he loses co-ordination and focus when he is tired.

smile

Goblinchild Fri 09-Oct-09 08:08:26

Lay that on the line, point out that he needs respite to avoid further stress on the joints.
Say that you are sure after the weekend that the situation will have improved.
You could also mention that DS doesn't want to let anyone down, so he is pushing himself further than he should and not asking to be excused, and that you will be looking at ways to improve the arrangement.
Be polite and don't send him with his kit

ChopsTheDuck Fri 09-Oct-09 08:29:18

You are a star! Thank you very much.

cory Fri 09-Oct-09 09:12:35

What Goblinchild said, except that I would not make any promises about the future. I found with my own hypermobile child that I was so anxious to seem cooperative that I used to tie myself into knots promising better attendance/participation in sport/improvement in her condition by next week, when in actual fact I didn't have a clue if that was going to happen or not. These days I just state the plain facts: dd cannot participate at the moment. There is a huge risk of permanent joint damage if you push yourself too far with his condition.

ChopsTheDuck Fri 09-Oct-09 09:33:21

I didn't say abotu the future, because we are going to apply for statementing and hopefulyl deal with those issues then.

I did say abotu him pushing too much which is the huge issue atm.

Because the SENCO has experience of ONE child with hypermobile joints, he is an expert! grin But the previous pupil didn't have pain issues, nor have it compounded with dyspraxia and autistism issues.

I am waiting for the physio report, where I have asked her to back me up on the fact it can cause long term damage, (his view was I shouldn't believe all I read on the internet) and the fact that a 7yo with other sn as well can't be expected to know his own limits.

We're picking up his snazzy new wheelchair next fri, I have a good mind to send him in with it whether they like it or not!

Goblinchild Fri 09-Oct-09 17:52:53

Sorry, I was in a hurry when I posted and didn't make myself clear. When I said that you'd be looking at ways to improve the arrangement, I was meaning from your child's perspective, not the school.
For example, not relying on them explaining to the teacher, perhaps having a card to show that said something along the lines of 'Not today, thank you' and raising the teacher's understanding of your son's particular needs in other ways.
Rather than promising you can improve his participation, which of course you can't predict. smile

cory Sat 10-Oct-09 10:11:16

A card is a good idea. Dd's school had that for a while. Sounds like the way forward.

About the longterm damage, we saw the genetics counsellor on Thursday and one thing she said was that people don't realise, they think that when you get older and less hypermobile your pain should go away, but in fact any joint damage that's been done has been done and you can't undo it. I thought it quite reassuring to have that confirmed by someone who clearly knows what she is talking about.

Dd does not have your ds's other problems- no dyspraxia or autism, but she still finds it incredibly difficult to stick to her limits all the time, because her limits change. It's an unpredictable condition.

ChopsTheDuck Mon 12-Oct-09 08:18:20

it is good to know that maybe he won't always suffer the pain. And if that is the case, then the right thing must be to protect his joints now while they are still so mobile. We noticed at the physio assessment that he has a tendancy to really throw him self around, jumping down on his knees, etc. when he is overtired which must be contributing to his pain. I jsut don't want him to end up in a wheelchair full time, or more than he already is.

I think a passcard would be a good idea. I think ds would find something visual a lot easier to use rather than having to tell the teacher he has had enough. I am going to suggest that to the senco.

Is your dd being tested for ehlers-danlos cory? Jsut wondered abotu the genetics counsellor. <nosy emotion needed!>

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