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Sons teacher seems reluctant to talk about my son's problems wwyd?

(7 Posts)
frazzledazzle Mon 05-Oct-09 16:03:12

Ds1 is due to get his ADOS results tomorrow
after waiting nearly 4 weeks.He is probably going to get diagnosed with AS and maybe ADD.

After he had been at school for a week I spoke to his new y1 teacher to ask how he was getting along she said he was fine and if there were any probs she would let me know.I felt she was kind of hoping I wouldn't keep bothering her but maybe I was just being over-sensitive.

The only other time I've spoken to her was to tell her he was going for the ADOS and she has never asked me how he got on or discussed any problems he has in the class with me and I know he does have problems.

Today at home-time a teacher who just does Mon afternoons thrust a (long) IEP at me and said Miss ** wants you to sign that.

DS has had IEPs before and the content of it was no surprise really but there was a lot on it and I thought she would at least have discussed it with me.I feel that she is reluctant to enter any dialogue with parents.

What should I do now? Does anyone else think she sounds unreasonable? I'm just not very assertive but I know I need to do something.

Thanks for reading

TotalChaos Mon 05-Oct-09 16:19:39

I could understand her wanting more than a week to form her own impressions of your DS, particularly if there had been no (to her mind) glaring incidents, but I think it's wrong for her just to expect you to sign off a new IEP without discussion, and I think it's reasonable for you to want to meet with her whatever the outcome of the ADOS to discuss how best to support your DS.

frazzledazzle Mon 05-Oct-09 17:13:46

Thanks for the reply TC.

I'm going to ask to speak to her tomorrow if I'm up to speaking to anyone after getting the ADOS results.She just doesn't seem very approachable which is in stark contrast to his reception teacher.She was lovely.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 05-Oct-09 17:30:09


I would also be speaking to the SENCO in your son's school; have you spoken to this person previously?. The ADOS outcome needs to be discussed with this person as well as his class teacher.

SEN as a whole is not widely taught at teacher training college; they are unlikely to have much if any real knowledge of ASD.

It is both unhelpful and unreasonable of the school to expect you to sign an IEP without any discussion. IEPs should always be drawn up with the parent present.

On a wider level do you think your son's needs are being met?. Do you think the school know how to work with your son effectively?. If you feel this is not the case I would seriously consider applying for a Statement for him from your LEA sooner rather than later (i.e in Junior school for instance).

frazzledazzle Mon 05-Oct-09 18:01:16

Atilla,I wouldn't know the SENCO if I fell over them tbh.

Regarding the IEP,I have always just been presented with the finished article but the previous teacher always discussed all the points on it with me before I signed it.

I'm not confident his needs are being met really.They mention that he needs adult support but then sat he doesn't need a statement hmm.

Discipline is also another issue.I don't want them to let him get away with things because of his problems,but sometimes I feel that they don't realise that he can't help some behaviours and they expect him to behave like an nt child would.. (that's a whole other thread)

catkinq Mon 05-Oct-09 18:48:47

has she been a teacher long? Could she be a new teacher (and just terrified of parents?)

troutpout Mon 05-Oct-09 19:47:08

Definitely make an appointment to speak to senco (if possible with class teacher present).

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