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Multi-agency meeting at school today - bit nervous

(18 Posts)
misscutandstick Thu 01-Oct-09 09:21:05

I assume that a MA meeting has been called today because im digging my heels in, in wanting a statement for DS5.

When i asked what the agenda was for the meeting i wasnt really told, but was told that the ed psych was coming too. who incidentally told me that "if <<DS5>> was in another county id be pushing for a statement, but as hes in <<XXXXshire>> he doesnt need one" (obviously if we lived half a mile down the road {in the next county} he'd be much worse - arent we lucky that his condition has geographical boundaries??? hmm)

He does at the moment get 'higher funding' (alledgedly hmm) but not 'enhanced funding'. However from my viewpoint it doesnt look like he gets any funding at ALL! he 'borrows' 2 LSA's from 2 other children when they arent using them (ie. small group work with teacher or registration).

The arrangement is crap. it means that all 3 children dont get what they should be legally entitled to. AND on occasions where all 3 children need 1-1, my child gets sent home is escorted by ME in the activity, or taken home!

I like the school and the teachers are fabby with him and love him to bits, but there simply isnt enough bods to take care of his needs. He ISNT getting the same education that everyone is getting.

SO HERES my dilema, do I:

A) stand firm and insist to all (teachers and ed psych) why he needs statementing. dont want the teachers to fall out with me or DS5, or get the impression that i dont like them, which i do - there just isnt enough of them to go round.


B) SAY i will back down on statementing if enhanced funding is in place and he gets more help. but carry on with statementing anyway. ALL the school (teachers and senco) are trying to persuade me its not necessary and that funding is in place and they can manage (which they are not, otherwise i wouldnt be taking him home/staying to help nearly so often)

WWYD??? please help.

wasuup3000 Thu 01-Oct-09 09:43:25

Stick to your guns! Good Luck!

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 01-Oct-09 09:55:57

I would go with option A and do not back down on statementing. Nothing else will suffice now.

I'd also be seeking independent advice from the likes of SOS;SEN and IPSEA.

If I remember correctly you're in one LEA area and county that gets a lot of complaints to IPSEA about their behaviour re SEN. They are really piss poor.

misscutandstick Thu 01-Oct-09 10:34:24

thanks attilla <<smiles meekly>>

must put on my rhino hide, dont-mess-with-me knickers, and try the 'velvet steamroller' method. Thing is, its easier to be brave at home!

Going to go with option A then.

2hrs and counting...

iheartdusty Thu 01-Oct-09 10:40:00

do you have a parent partnership person who could be there with you?

brokenspacebar Thu 01-Oct-09 11:16:12

Good luck - I don't like the meetings, not being rhino skinned.

misscutandstick Thu 01-Oct-09 11:25:51

Its hopeless even trying to get PP on the phone - put with their less than impartial advice: "ooh i wouldnt bother with a statement they are really hard to get here, and anyway you dont really need to have one cause of the funding" angry, means id rather not get them involved.

iheartdusty Thu 01-Oct-09 11:44:59

shock at 'advice'

MoonlightMcKenzie Thu 01-Oct-09 18:21:32

How did it go?

I know it is hard to be brave, but this isn't about your feelings or those of the teachers, it is about your ds' life. I sometimes find remembering that can harden my heart.

misscutandstick Fri 02-Oct-09 07:39:18

Well it seems it was both: a tick-in-the-box + persuade-me-not-to-statement meeting!

The ed psych made it clear that she only came because i had requested it months ago.

EVERYONE who attended did the "oooh isnt he doing well" thing, "he can do X,Y, and Z now and hes only been to 8 sessions, oh yes hes coming on leaps and bounds!" ah thats OK then, by half term he'll be cured of autism, his GDD will have caught up, and dyspraxia disappeared, its a good job I chose that school eh? hmm

Honestly if you didnt know the child you would have thought i was just a REALLY neurotic mother! No mention at all of sending him home early. AND they kept saying "oh yes, hes taking part, joining in, and being very sociable!" TOTAL LIES!!!

Tolerating children playing alongside does not mean 'joining in'. Glancing over at the other side of the room where everyone else is having lessons, does NOT mean taking part! And neither does being on the same slide as another child, he couldnt give 2 figs if there was anyone there or not, and I KNOW this to be true because he 'plays' the same way when theres NO-ONE else IN the yard!

I mentioned at the beginning of the week that his energy levels were fine and that i thought he could manage full (half) days just fine. I was ignored. I brought it up again at the meeting. So they agreed... to one full (half) session next week, and maybe 2 sessions next week. Then after half term... one full session the first week back, and then 2 full sessions the week after. rising to a full (mornings only) week by week 5 hmm... just who are they adjusting for??? his energy levels are fine, he has NEVER had issues with separation. But if i raise this it looks like im a crap mother who wants to dump him!

so, how did it go? well, im certainly not giving up on statementing! angry

MoonlightMcKenzie Fri 02-Oct-09 09:35:33

No, no, no. That wasn't a good meeting at all. They seem to be saying that he'll cope fine at school as long as he doesn't attend, and even that doesn't seem to actually be the case.

Do they know that you came away dissatisfied?

Are you in MY LA? Sounds like you must be. Total disregard for the parents ability to have any knowledge at all of their child.

cyberseraphim Fri 02-Oct-09 10:48:27

I agree with above - How can he be coping or doing well if they don't want him to attend more sessions? How many sessions would you like him to have and what are their reasons for refusing ?

misscutandstick Fri 02-Oct-09 12:23:21

I have ALWAYS stated to them that HE will cope fine - its that everyone else around him will have to work around him (oh dear, that sounds like hes really spoilt doesnt it? i meant more that he wont go to listen and learn, the teachers will have to take the lesson to him). I firmly think that 5 mornings a week (full nursery hours) would be good. But every time i mention it, I get ignored or that patronising smile that says "she doesnt know what shes talking about" and a vague "lets see how it goes". THen if i insist, it comes across as uncaring!

So its not like they are out and out refusing - but they are being a bit difficult.

We're in Notts - notoriously difficult to get a statement here! We went to the local SN school and in y1 theres 3children (average number per class is 4), in year10 theres 8children (the highest number class). So either we dont have children with additional needs here hmm or we do have children with SN but they simply cant get statemented. And i understand why if the meeting yesterday was anything to go by!

MoonlightMcKenzie Fri 02-Oct-09 14:46:45


Copy the model letter from the Ipsea website and request a statutory assessment.

If you are too early (i.e. within the timeframe before you can apply again), they'll have to write to you and tell you that. I know you said that you did it formally before but you might need to investigate. Often they can 'pretend' it happened when it didn't.

About 2 weeks after you send your letter get on their case. Call them every day. Ask them to send you the criteria for assessment. Ask them when the panel date is. Ask them who will be sitting on the panel. Ask them if you can attend. Ask them who the chair of the panel is. Ask them to phone you the day the decision is made. Ask them if you can arrange to come in that day to discuss the decision if it isn't the one you want. Ask them to inform you as soon as they can because you would like maximum time to prepare your case for tribunal. Phone them every day with a question about one of the criteria.

You need to do this so that they are in no doubt that you are determined, to get yourself a reputation, to make your plan B quite clear, to show them the difference in their workload between doing things your way or theirs and to give you reams of information should you eventually actually need to go to tribunal.

From today, go through EVERY single conversation with a 'professional' in your head and write down the key points and quotes in a contact log (Sorry - I know it's a pita). Back date your log if you can.

Ambiguity is over. Faffing around is over. You have tried it their way and now it is YOUR turn to ensure that your ds gets an adequate education and has the best chance of a future.

School isn't compulsory anyway. Not much is. So to some extent you have every right to question provision because ultimately it is YOUR CHOICE whether you make use of it or not. If you do choose to, then it is THEIR responsibility to meet his needs, but someone somewhere has to identify them first. No point saying after 6 months that he is now using crayons very well when he's been doing it at home for the past 2 years.

Have a lovely weekend to regather your strength and get over your negative emotions and your 'relationships' with these people and then come back a little bit cross and with your business hat on.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 03-Oct-09 08:45:41


Would agree with every word written in Moonlight's post.

I live in the SE but even I am aware that Notts is awfulness of the first order when it comes to SEN provision. Time to put business hat on and start writing that request for the Statutory Assessment. IPSEA get a LOT of complaints about Notts (and Hertfordshire who are also shite and mean spirited with their SEN provision).

You are your child's best - AND ONLY - advocate.

MoonlightMcKenzie Sat 03-Oct-09 13:03:48

LOL, I'm in Hertfordshire btw! wink

misscutandstick Sat 03-Oct-09 13:17:22

LOL!!! You dont come across as mean spirited at all Moon!

I am taking advice as we speak!!!

already started with the diary log, and the happy weekend too!

Will put some serious effort in starting monday.

Thanks guys, you're brill! smile

Phoenix4725 Sat 03-Oct-09 19:44:55

sorrytohar your having rough time still ith the statement , thy told me wewould not gt one then well you wont get uch.and so far we have 32 hrs 1-1

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