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I hate my son's ASD today

(10 Posts)
tyres Sun 27-Sep-09 18:53:33

Am at the end of my tether today. I hate the constant squealing and screeching and silly noises constantly coming from his mouth. I hate the fact he puts everything in his mouth. I hate it when he attacks his sister for every minor infraction. I can't stand the constant battles to get him to do even the simplest of things. The obession with the pc - wanting to be on it all the time. Not helped by me trying to zone out on here and Facebook, so he pops up at my side every 5 mins wanting to come on. I feel like a shite mother today. I couldn't even summon up the energy to take them to the park. I love my son so much it hurts but I hate his ASD especially today.

Thanks for reading.

sickofsocalledexperts Sun 27-Sep-09 19:00:56

It is hard tyres because, unlike in other jobs, there's no weekend for us - in fact our job gets harder at weekends. I know that is true of most mums, but it is 400 times more true of mums of autistic kids. I broke down in tears in the middle of Starbucks yesterday with my ASD son and my nf daughter. My little girl looked a bit embarrassed but I told her, don't be embarrassed for me, be embarrassed for the 25 people in there who DIDN'T come and help or comfort a crying woman. A big hug to you. Have a glass of wine and a fag, or some cake, or whatever it is that can feel like a treat for you at the end of a hard day! x

tyres Sun 27-Sep-09 19:06:20


Thanks for your kind words. I've had mucho wine over the last couple of evenings so I suppose another couple of glasses won't harm. My partner was called away on business unexpectedly over the weekend so I've been on my own which hasn't made things easier. My son starts a full day at school from tomorrow (he is 5 and has had a gradual start). I will miss him so much during the day and I know he's going to find it hard but I also know the routine does him the power of good once he gets used to it.

ps I would have given you a hug in Starbucks yesterday.

DoNotPressTheRedButton Sun 27-Sep-09 19:06:48

Oh God yes tyres- ds3 is PC obsessive too, and it isnt easy to do anything when a child is grabbing your face demanding 'puta'.

This should be a big wkend for us, we do a family thing that started yesterday. As per usual, it was actually the case that everyone else did it whilst I sat on damp grass with the boys, then the boys and DH did it with everyone else whilst I stood watching and then had DH surprised when I snapped that I didnt want to hear what immense effing fun he had! I wanted some fun too.

Mostly I am resigned to it tbh, nbut the other day I was watching ds3 do something and my heart broke afresh for him.

moondog Sun 27-Sep-09 19:11:35

I'm sorry you feel so bad and worn out. Very draining.
Vast amounts of outdoor exercise can really help and with regards to computer obsession and controlling it a timetimer can really help get the issue under control whilst also giving him control over it too.

Hope school goes well. You sound liek you need the break.

DoNotPressTheRedButton Sun 27-Sep-09 19:15:35

Have bookmarked that MD_ will start saving up for one for ds3 as it looks like something useful.

moondog Sun 27-Sep-09 19:16:45

They really are. I have used them (in my work with people with ASD) a great deal. You can even have a downloadable one for the PC.

(My kids use it on me to stop me MNIng!)

DoNotPressTheRedButton Sun 27-Sep-09 19:17:57

ha I know who you are LOL (am Peachy in dusguise)

tyres Sun 27-Sep-09 20:00:37

thanks for your messages. My son is pretty good on the concept of time. We have a digital kitchen timer we have used to good effect in the past - so much that I rarely use it now but give a verbal 3 min warning instead. We've lapsed a bit though and I think we'll have to go back to it for a bit.

Today has been tough because if i give him a time limit on the pc he will argue bitterly for it to be longer, and then when he finally does agree to come off, he's back within a few minutes asking for it again. It works great if you have something else for him to do (he's not great at entertaining himself) and sadly today I've just not had the energy...

These 'bad' days really get me down.

Still they are both in bed now (sleep will come later...) and tomorrow is another day.

linglette Fri 02-Oct-09 09:14:19

coming into this late tyres. I use moondog's timetimer - took a few months - and a bit of resistance - but would say that it really is better than a digital timer. I posted because in the situation you mentioned re arguing about the PC it could be very useful to have a medium or big one above the PC because then instead of getting drawn into a debate you could just point at it and say "look, the red's getting smaller" (ie his computer time is getting used up in arguing) and after a few times just point -you know the sort of thing - grandmothers, sucking eggs,etc,etc.

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