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Need advice or just some kind words...

(7 Posts)
MissBreezy Thu 24-Sep-09 09:54:51

My ds is 4 and currently under assesment for Autism. It has been a truly awful year and I have still not come to terms with the way he is or how to deal with him.

He started school last week and I thought he seemed to be doing OK, going in happy etc, but was pulled aside by his teacher yesterday so say they are wanting to put an IEP in place for his behaviour as hes been pushing alot, throwing and getting very cross over things having meltowns over the mention of something, yesterday it was daddy, why??? No idea!!!, and just generally not coping to well with the whole thing!

I came home in floods of tears not knowing what to do, He has his next assesment in school on the 5th October and am hoping that will be the last one before they make a diognosis! He is also being sent for Genetic testing, do you know how common this is and can you tell me what we should expect as they are not really saying much about it?!

His main troubles are behaviour, he can hit, kick, push etc, will not listen and often appears on another planet, does not 'get it' can be told a million times over about something but when asked he looks blank, struggles to understand questions, was rated average on his understanding using visual aids tho, does not like to give eye contact, poor attention span,delayed speech although its getting better slowly, obessed with PS2 and will not play with anything else, wakes up in the night alot, can be very anti social, being rude etc, struggles to hold a conversation and will change subjects very quickly to talk about p2s or games etc! Shows no interest in wanting to learn, doesnt really ask questions, shows no interest in the world around him,fussy eater, I mean the list goes on..........

I spend my 3 hours every morning worrying and feeling sick, I hate to think that hes not doing well at school and I know hes got to learn the rules and how to behave etc but its so difficult, I mean we are struggling at home with him as nothing works in terms of punishment, but my god I just wish that all this worry would just go away! (

Thanks for reading and I look forward to talking to you all and hopefully getting some good advice and reasurance that things will get better x

Fluffypoms Thu 24-Sep-09 10:30:20

sorry no advice/help. just didnt want to read and not post. as you sound like your having a ruff time.

somebody with more knowledge will be along soon.

take care

barnpot Thu 24-Sep-09 12:11:28

I'm sorry I have no knowledge on asd but well practiced on the uncontrollably crying and worrying front, all I can say is try to take one day at a time hour by hour if needs be and dont look too far into the future and assess the hour thats just gone by and not what am I going to do if.....
stay strong for your little boy he knows your the constant and its what he relies on your no good to him if you break down IYSWIM. take care of yourself xxx

vjg13 Thu 24-Sep-09 12:23:27

I have very little knowledge of ASD but really feel for you. I know the awful sick worry feelings too well.

Is the assessment in school with an educational psychologist? they will prepare a report and hopefully give the school some strategies.

We went for genetic testing, it involved an examination of my daughter and a blood test. Lots of questions about family too.

huffyhuffystompstomprahrahrah Thu 24-Sep-09 12:46:30

Hi Breezy,

Genetics testing is fairly routine for all diagnosis. Although it is all very stressful at the moment, it sounds like steps are being made in the right direction and the upside of having a diagnosis is that you can access services and provision etc. {{hugs}}

1wombat Thu 24-Sep-09 13:50:22

Hi. I think it will be a little better for you once you have a diagnosis. Autism is a spectrum disorder so individuals vary in how they are affected. Look at the National Autistic society (NAS) website or phone them up - they have a helpline and are very nice.
My grown son is Aspergers and I am ASD (Autistic spectrum disorder). The only thing I would say is that I am suprised about the genetic test. I would ask them if this is to help with a diagnosis of Autism. to the best of my knowledge there are some genes associated with autism but no genetic test (The NAS may know better). I think you should pin them down about the reason for this particularly as they are not saying to much as your son is not for experiments!

try to hold on to the fact that your son's problems are not your fault if he is autistic. I speak from experience that school is frightening for many ASD people so this is why he is behaving badly at school. It's very hard to accept but his behavour at school is for his teachers to cope (you are not there).

II hope everything goes well for you and your son and with a diagnosis you will be able to access support.

troutpout Thu 24-Sep-09 14:07:19

He will be ok MissBreezy...he really will. It will get easier and you will find your feet with him.
The beginning of each school year became a kind of joke between me and my mates...we used to be waiting for the teacher to come out and find me with that 'look' on her face. I think the record for the longest time was 2 weeks in grin
He is 12 now and in secondary school...he is doing ok <<touches wood all around>>

<<passes MissBreezy a hard hat>>...you will need it. The playground can be a tough place.

All those things he is doing. He cannot help that.He is being asked to do things all day that he probably isn't capable of and cannot cope with. Can you imagine the amount of stress that puts on him?
The absolutely brilliant thing is that things are being put in place to get him help. (surprised they haven't already got an iep in place tbh if they know he is being assessed).Is he being assessed by camhs? Does your boy have funding for hours at all? ...if not perhaps you can ask them if they have applied.
Chuck a few things back at em...go on smile

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