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Other people's "brats" and my innocent son.....

(64 Posts)
mamadadawahwah Fri 03-Jun-05 22:19:51

My son is just over 2 and he has a speech delay. A little boy started talking to him in the supermarket. My son didnt respond in the way this little boy liked (he was about 5) so he started screaming into my son's ear.

A few weeks back, a little boy being pushed in his pushchair spit in my son's face as I stopped for a bit to look at something in a shop.

Now in both instances, i could have caused a "scene", instead i glared at the parents of each of these kids, as obviously children that age must get this behaviour from parents or kids they associate with.

What unnerved me most is my wee son didnt know that he had been badly treated, thankfully. But i sure did. I just felt oh boy, here we go, life in the big world has started. My son is not a baby anymore and will have to take the tumbles that life shoves in front of him.

What would you have done/said to the parents of these kids? By the way, the mothers of both children saw what their kids did to my son and they were both the "hard and rough" types you didnt want to smart mouth, if you know what i mean.

hercules Fri 03-Jun-05 22:21:22

I would have no qualms telling the other child off in a calm way eg that's not nice, stop doing that, it's horrible.

fastasleep Fri 03-Jun-05 22:23:13

I would hjave apologised profusely, felt really mortified and given my little one a good talking to about how we treat others!

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:24:11

my dd2 is almost 3 she doesnt like other children generally. sher is not a brat, but liklely to scream at other children to 'go away'. i'm sorry if people think she is a brat

kid Fri 03-Jun-05 22:47:19

I'm not sure I would have said anything but would have liked to hear the parents say something to their child.

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:48:00

i am still a bit upset over this. your ds has a language delay, my dd has a social problem. she has some Sn we think but not sure what. just because she is horrible to your ds doesnt make her a brat.

i have had to stop her punching other kids before who have spoken to her.

coppertop Fri 03-Jun-05 22:49:55


mamadadawahwah Fri 03-Jun-05 22:50:02

Misdee, what on EARTH has that got to do with my story?????????????

Janh Fri 03-Jun-05 22:50:46

But misdee, mdw's DS was minding his own business but was abused by these 2 boys - he hadn't said or done anything and I bet your DD is fine if she's left alone?

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:52:42

she can hit out if another kid looks at her.

the fact is, you are labelling other kids brats and you dont know if they have problems of their own.

i'm sorry you have had bad experience, but as having been on the other side, and having my dd being 'nasty' to other kids and her being called a brat, horrible child etc, it is upsetting.

spod Fri 03-Jun-05 22:53:27

Message deleted

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:53:54

btw, its made worse as dd looks older as well.

KatieMac Fri 03-Jun-05 22:54:02

Misdee - I thibnk it's the parents behaviour that makes these children brats.

Would you try to prevent any aggression/rudeness on the part of your child?
If so you & your DD aren't the sort of people that this thread is about
If however you just watch the "poor" or "incorrect" or "rude" behaviour then you are.....I assume that as a lovely M/Netter you would try to control your dd and apologise for her actions (not her fault any more than yours)

However I would hope that any parent that watched their child spitting at another would tell them off or at least apologise.

But I am often wrong

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:55:10

tbh, yes i do apologuise, but if i hear someone mutter 'brat' or similar under their breath i just walk away. i just cant be bothered anymore.

spod Fri 03-Jun-05 22:55:43

Message deleted

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 22:58:30

rigth get back to the original prob.

all kids get picked on at some point. i think that your sons language delay isnt that obvious to other kids atm. my older dd was shoved over, spat on etc by other kids older than her at the age of 2 and she is perfectly fine (apart from now being 13 at the age of 5 with her attitude IYKWIM).

my dd2 doesnt get her behaviour from me. its just her. i dont go around spitting at people/things, yelling at them or punching them.

spod Fri 03-Jun-05 23:01:41

Message deleted

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 23:04:21

i know its not on. the best thing to do is speak to the parents. but please dont label them brats. i hate that word.

if your ds is just 2 he probably hopefully wont remember it. just try and reassure your ds if he does get upset there are good people and kids in the world.

LGJ Fri 03-Jun-05 23:06:36


You still here ??

mamadadawahwah Fri 03-Jun-05 23:07:50

Yeah, I'm here.

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 23:12:08

i'm sorry mmddww.

welcome to the world of SN and all it entails.

mamadadawahwah Fri 03-Jun-05 23:16:54

To rephrase, what should i have said to the parents of the perfect, impish, darling, well behaved and well mannered children who spit in my toddler's face and screamed in his ear? If i want to call them a brat, i will call them brats, cause that's what they were. There was nothing "wrong" with them. They were misbehaving and their parents looked on as they did it. AS many well behaved kids as there are, there are probably as many ill behaved kids too. They dont ALL have special needs. What they have is lack of discipline, lack of respect and lack of parents who just couldnt be bothered to do anything about their behaviour.

this thread is not about misdee or her child - this thread is about what it originally said and i am sure there are plenty of parents who have experienced the same thing. I dont know where the "personalisation" comes from on misdee's part but it is totally misdirected in this thread.

One may not like the word brat, but if the shoe fits, well.... too bad.

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 23:17:47

oooooooooooooooooooo ok.

Jimjams Fri 03-Jun-05 23:29:38

misdee I forget, is your dd waiting to be assessed? (not a loaded question btw but I know you've often mentioned you think she might have SN and just wondered whether she was on a waiting list anywhere)

misdee Fri 03-Jun-05 23:31:11

she now has eye clinic appointment to rule that out. also have gp's appointment monday to arrange to go back to the paed (again). not going to be fobbed off again.

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