advice about recording milestones/ educational achievemnets or targets please

[sodit]

ds1 (just turned 3 possible asd def speech and language delay) is making good progress and I want to record what he is capable of and want needs to be worked on. I am scared because he is practically non-verbal people will think he is not capable and he will not be pushed. I am also fed up with being asked so if I keep this updated I can just print out a copy and not have to sit there filling out forms
For example he was not being asked to put his name on the board when he arrives at pre-school even though he can recognise his name and a few other words.He does enjoy challenges and will work happily on things as long as they are tailored to suit his needs and to keep his attention.
I am most interested in the things that are covered at pre-school/ nursery. i have headings such as numbers and shapes, literacy and are putting what he can do and then what he needs to work on.
What I need help with is where can i get a list of things theat he should be doing at his age and older as he is advanced in some areas. I need to show that it is his language problems that are causing the delays as he does learn in the natural environment as long as his problems with language are taken into account. I am hoping he will be accepted at a nursery with a speech and language group and if his difficulties are down to that then I feel I will stand more of a chance that if it is put down to asd (which I am wibbling about but that is a whole different story).
Thanks for reading