How do you get your dc into the class on the first day back?

[debs40]

DS is really panicking about returning to school. He often has a bit of a meltdown about entering class if he's a bit nervous.

He had a really sympathetic teacher last year who used to let him go in at his own pace. This year there are lots of new people in his class and I'm really worried about what's going to happen on the first day.

He has a little book with photos of teachers and the class etc explaining what is going to happen and we've been through it lots of times in a happy, cheerful way.

I have spoken to him a couple of times about the sort of thigns which might make him feel better - e.g. going in early, taking a toy/book etc but he just looks like he's in a panic.

Any ideas??

[sparkybabe]

How old is he? If still at infants I would suggest that you tell him you will stay with him for half an hour or so at the start of the day - nothing much will be going on anyway. Leave at assembly time/milk and fruit break/ first play/whenever you can. Im sure the teacher wouldn't mind. Tell him when you are leaving. You may need to do this for a week or so.

[debs40]

He is 6 and starting Year 2. Have you had experience of this sparky? I don't know how that would go down with the teachers

[debs40]

Another problem is I always have my three year old with me at drop off. Perhaps I should get DH to drop the him off at nursery.

[sparkybabe]

I have had a bit of exp - my 3rd DS was quite clingy all thro Playschool and the 1st 2 years of infants - so I started volunteering in school, assisting reading, helping out in the classroom, doing cooking with them and it really helped. DS3 loved the fact that his mates 'knew' me,(and called after me in the street!) and I loved getting to know all the kids in the class. I did 1-2 mornings a week, and eventually became a dinner lady and cover TA and I'm sure that the teachers should not mind at all. They are still tiny, after all. Lots of mothers still go in with the dc in year 1 & 2 to help with hanging up coats and sorting bags etc.

It's only a small amount of time to give up in the week, but it will make such a difference. And the school are usually really grateful for the help.

Even if you can only do it for the first week or so, it'll help your ds I'm sure.

[debs40]

Thanks. I'm not sure whether the teachers will think I'm making things worse. His teacher last year was really good at getting him in at his own pace but I never stayed. I'll have a chat with them about it.

[anonandlikeit]

HI debs, we are in exactly the same situation here, I take ds2 in just before the bell, so he has all his stuff sorted.. bag hung up, drink bottle & lunch put in their place before the rush. Then his TA, takes over.
TBH we just try to keep things as calm as possible, I leave straight away, I never linger as he would want it every day & it would become established as part of the routine & be harder to break.

The first week or two of the new term are always tough & I give them an hour & just ring to make sure he has settled.

I definately find he is better if i leave quickly.
Good luck!

[ilovepeppapig]

my dd is stressing !!! fortunately i can take her to school as my school is not back yet - normally she goes with a very busy CM.

however she is a junior now so no going into the classroom! I have just had to keep talking her through it over and over again. she will have a different playground and is in a different school building than she is use to.

AND she is ill so is miserable .....

• as a teacher myself (yr2) we dont allow parents in the classroom or cloakroom. (school rules) I would always spend time with a reluctant child and their parent at the door until i have settled him/her.

As it is the first day - it might be hard to talk to your teacher I usually have 30 anxious mums trying to tell me things and it is so hard to take it in. Perhaps write down any useful information in a letter - i then refer to them to help me.

A favourite toy/book is an excellent idea.
Is there a particular child/friend your ds likes - let the teacher know as i would always let them sit with their friends to help them settle.

Does he have his own 1:1 support?

have to go out now but will check back later

[debs40]

Thanks this is really helpful.

ilovepeppapig - your perspective as a teacher is really helpful. Last year the favourite toy/book worked well in the book bag but he seems daunted by the new faces in the class this year and less inclined to 'show and tell'.

The teachers all have their own email addresses at school for parents to contact so I was going to send a message by email tomorrow setting out where we are. School have today and tomorrow as TD days and kids are in Thursday.

DS doesn't have 1:1. We are at the beginning of the process really. He does have a specialist teacher assigned to him for extra support on a Thurs pm for the next six weeks. She will some time helping him through the change.

I have worked through the whole first day at school process and his 'change' book with him and I was going to try and leave him with coping strategies e.g. your teacher knows you're nervous, I've spoken to her, she will ask you if you're ok at break etc.

And a big reward for the end of the day.

[anonandlikeit]

debs, could you maybe give the school a ring tomorow & see if you can take your ds in for 10 mins so that he can have a look at his new classroom, where he will sit etc.
Even though they spent time with ds2 last term going through things I know he has can't recall all that info when he is so anxious so we are popping in tomorow so he can have a quick refresher.

[debs40]

anon - that is a great idea! Thanks.

[YesIndeedy]

If possible I would go with the idea of asking if he can go in to the classroom earlier on the first day back. Hopefully it will give him a little time to start adjusting to the new classroom and teacher before also having to deal with all the new children too.

Good luck. My ds is also about to start Yr2.

[sparkybabe]

I'm amazed that there are school rules to stop parents coming into the classroom! I helped for 8 years on and off, and felt really welcomed and that the school were grateful for my help. Then my dc moved to juniors, where parents were not even allowed on the premises, and they wondered why the parents were not so forthcoming with help for school fairs, discos and other money-raisers! It's becasue we felt unwelcomed.

It's such a valuable asset being wasted.