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So fed up with being alone...

(14 Posts)
mysonben Thu 27-Aug-09 18:33:10

Getting to that stage where i am feeling sad and crying all the time.
All my family live in France, so simply popping over to mums or sis isn't an option.
DH's family live not too far, but they are a funny bunch, quite self-absorbed.
And the few friends i had are not interested anymore, seems they haven't got the time or patience to be here when ds (3.10, asd) is around.
Apart from you ladies here on MN , i've had no support , no one to talk to about ds' problems and how difficult it is to cope with everything sometimes.

I so want to meet with some other mums to have a chat, or go out somewhere with kids sometimes.
I thought about going to my local NAS branch, but i'm scared to go on my own (dh refuses to go with me), and i'm a bit shy too.
I'm turning into a very sad case atm sad

Barmymummy Thu 27-Aug-09 18:51:30

sad Where do you live?

mysonben Thu 27-Aug-09 18:52:17


TotalChaos Thu 27-Aug-09 18:56:16

I'm sorry, it's a tough time the first year or so adjusting to it all. Not got any answers, as my main support is through MN too, I have managed to meet a few of the lovely ladies that post here, but live too far away to meet regularly. I would strongly encourage you to go to NAS - I imagine that most people there will be mums, as (I know sweeping stereotyping)men aren't as comfortable with the support group set up. Please don't think it's a sad case thing - it is very hard being around some (not all!) parents to NT kids the same age, am sure many of us can identify with this feeling.

HelensMelons Thu 27-Aug-09 18:58:04


I think it can be a bit isolating having a child with sn. Sorry that you feel so sad at the moment. Is there a local mothers'n'toddlers or sn group that you could go to during the day. Is DS at playgroup or nursery that you could go and do something yourself (a short course or something enjoyable at your local college?)

What about Contact a Family - do you have that resource where you live?

Barmymummy Thu 27-Aug-09 18:59:19

Have passed you twice in the last 2 weeks!! Have been to the New Forest and to Paultons Park grin I live in Worthing!

Would be up for making a friendship if you fancy it? Entirely up to you grin

CAT me if you do and we can go from there smile

cocolepew Thu 27-Aug-09 19:00:38

I work in a Special School and we run a mums meet up morning every week, maybe you could check your local schools? I would try to work up the courage to go to NAS one. The first time is always the hardest.

mysonben Thu 27-Aug-09 19:02:24

I think i feel like this because we had my parents visiting us last week and my mum is so bubly, and fun to be with, now they 've gone back the same old boring routine of doing everything alone is back.
For the past month i've phoned and texted my so-called friend, 4 times we have arranged to meet up and 4 times she has let me down at the last minute. hmm
I wonder sometimes if people feel awkward regarding ds's asd!??
Not sure why they should as ds is quite a nice chappy most of the time.

mysonben Thu 27-Aug-09 19:12:46

Not heard of contact a family.
I was thinking maybe of going to help one afternoon a week or so at ds' nursery, as i know they welcome any help.

I really owe to go to my local nas, i suspect my worries are silly, but i wonder if ds' s "asd is severe enough" to warrant me going there iykwim?...ds has mild asd we were told.
Dear some of the stuff i think about hey! blush

barmymummy, i will cat you after i've sorted out the kids to bed. Cheers.

lou031205 Thu 27-Aug-09 19:46:06

mysonben, I live near Southampton. Don't have a car most days, but DH is off on Wednesdays, so could meet on one? Don't know how your DS' ASD affects him, but DD1 doesn't always get when someone's fed up with being chased/chasing, etc.

mysonben Thu 27-Aug-09 21:08:26

Lou031205, yes i would really appreciate a bit of company now and then, wdenesdays are ok with me, (working p/t thursdays and fridays).
I can get the car from DH (biking to work will do him good! grin)

DS goes to nursery on wednesdays, but i can swap a day on occasions , they are quite flexible on that point.
DS doesn't always get it either when people want to stop/end the game,... needs a fair bit of "that's enough now! No more!!!", he is a nice little guy usually when around other kids, and he loves chasing games(rules are simple iykwim)
Will cat you if that's ok.

jasdox Thu 27-Aug-09 23:28:18

Just wanted to send you hugs. I know what you mean about NAS that is why I have not been. My ds fav game is chasing if he had his way we would play it all day, often ends up chasing the pigeons at the zoo for ages. We have a local drop in centre called hop skip and jump - a safe play haven, where they provide playground activities and people been to shy to go myself, but wondering his my be something like that round your way.

Phoenix4725 Fri 28-Aug-09 06:26:32

I know that feeling to seems so much that needs doing and all the normal stuff and I found friens have dropped away now its become more obvious that ds is differnt

MojoLost Fri 28-Aug-09 08:52:04

sad But at the same time smile that you might meet some nice people now through mumsnet.

I know how you feel. My family live abroad as well, and SNAP, my parents were visiting us last week as well, DS1 (GDD) was so spoilt and happy that I just wish I could live close to them.

I also feel I am always the one calling friends to meet up, I am always the one taking the initiative, and although they usually comply and are nice to us when we see them, they never seem to make the first step. I guess it is a little tiring having DS around (he is a little hyperactive and his social skills are very delayed), so I do understand why they are not jumping to the opportunity of meeting us.

Hopefully things will improve with time.

It always amazes me how important the social side of things are. Not to feel isolated and lonely. It is so important.

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