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DS suddenly hitting

(4 Posts)
iwearflairs Thu 27-Aug-09 07:58:37

DS has started hitting in the last few weeks -- me at first and now a little girl who is his only friend.

He goes into Time Out immediately and then I talk to him about how it makes other people feel and how he feels if he gets hit but it doens't seem to make a lot of difference.

He starts at school next week so I am worrying that this is going to continue there and he will be in trouble from the beginning. It is going to be difficult enough to fit in with the others without wacking them.

It is usually because he is being the rule police and they have done something wrong, or because they have interrupted what he is doing.

Has anyone found a successful way of handling this? Any thoughts gratefully appreciated.

iwearflairs Sat 29-Aug-09 10:10:41

Hello -- bumping my own thread

Time Outs seem to have no impact whatever as DS keeps hitting this little girl everytime she 'breaks a rule'.

I talked to him yesterday to say that he doesn't always do as he's asked and nobody ever comes and thumps him and this seemed to go in and we have started discussing what would be an appropriate penalty if he does it again.

She suggested that he might have his favourite toy confiscated and returned only after a playdate with no hitting which he seemed to buy.

I am ranting obviously but wanted to also ask if anyone has noticed that TIme Outs have no effect whatever on their AS children?

claw3 Sat 29-Aug-09 10:37:21

How long have you been doing time out for ie since what age?

debs40 Sat 29-Aug-09 13:01:19

I really sympathise as my 6 year old is like this and I agree time outs (or red card as they have in school) have no effect as it is about anger control.

I have done a couple of things.

Firstly, we chose a word together (alien!) which he can shout when his little brother is annoying him and he needs help. It is simpler than running to find an adult and explaining a problem.

Secondly, we had a sticker chart with an easily obtainable target - e.g. he had to get ten stars until he got a prize. I tried to work on this as positive reinforcement of his ability to call for help rather than hit. He gets a small prize or gets to have an extra session on his x-box!

It isn't perfect but I understand why he is like this and it helps if you can get into his head and try and offer a way out other than hitting.

Also, because my son started to get very distressed about punishment (like getting a red card at school which meant he lost some of his free time on a friday), it is much less likely to undermine his self-esteem. It is a self-control and communication issue so I think praise and focus on the positive is they key.

That's my view anyway!

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