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what support does you child get at nursery age 3/4ish?

(15 Posts)
meerkatsandkookaburras Wed 26-Aug-09 15:45:32

my ds has funding for one to one all the hours he is there (was total 7.5hrs before hols, now going up to 12.5hrs spread over 5 sessions) however they dont actually have the one to one following/shadowing himm all the time just she is one who deals with him if necessary and takes him to play on his own when everything is getting too much. He has autism and struggles interacting with other kids in fact he doesnt much really, they have said the other kids are very warey of him due to his violence and obviously im guessing find him boring as he cant really play with them as needs a lot of guidance to play etc. He is still in nappies and has no awareness at all despite being 4 in november, he has balance/clumsiness issues and a lot of sensory issues. Should i be insisting someone is shadowing him or is the system as it is ok do you think? what do the one to ones do with your kids?? and also should he be learning things at this age at nursery? i feel he hasnt really learnt anything, his social skills are getting worse, his sensory issues are getting worse, cognitively he is about the same, he has improved his language a little but i think thats more from home as he doesnt really speak at nursery anyway! The staff are all lovely and do like ben but i wonder if he needs more structured help or if this is too much at this age?! im looking at applying for a statement but obviously the process takes ages so in the meantime i want to try to improve things. He comes home a different child, sometimes withdrawn and soemtimes over excited and hyper (he is a very hyper child anyway, this is more hyper than normal!!) and he never wants to go there despite having started there in january he still gets very upset at the thought of me leaving him and its a battle to get him to leave the house as he really doesnt want to go, btu the staff are lovely and he likes them and seems ok when he is there. I dont know i just thought after 8 months (well 7 then a few sessions in the holiday club they run) he would be more settled in than this and have made more improvements, or at least not gone backwards in so many areas, but then maybe he would have gone backwards in these areas anyway even if he hadnt gone to nursery?!?! how do your kids cope? what do their one to ones do? aaaaaaaahhhhh really i want to know what i should be doing but i guess you cant really tell me though i wish someone could!

meerkatsandkookaburras Wed 26-Aug-09 15:46:26

oops sorry long post i got carried away, name changed i do sometimes post but thought id change my name as didnt want my sons name and mine in it anymore for obvious reasons!

waitingforgodot Wed 26-Aug-09 15:48:46

I don't have an answer for you but am watching this thread with interest. The nursery should be following a curriculum so yes, he should be learning things. Is it a private nursery?

lou031205 Wed 26-Aug-09 16:07:43

Hi M&K, DD1 has a brain folding disorder, which causes her GDD and Epilepsy. She has funding for full 1:1, but is without statement.

She has a member of staff allocated to her for each session. Generally, it is the SENCO on 2 days, another staff member on one morning, and another on the fourth.

They do a mixture of being generally 'around' during the freeplay, although DD1 finds it hard to get involved in activities, so they will encourage her to stick with something, using an egg timer. They also play games with her, which encourages other children to join in.

During the more structured times, DD1 finds it very hard to join in. She needs full on 1:1 at all times during these bits of the session, and often the teacher has to take her off and engage her in something different during those times, because she doesn't cope.

Although toilet trained, DD1 has a love of water, so needs full supervision in the bathroom, or she floods it.

DD1 should start the statementing process in October ready for school in September 2010.

mysonben Wed 26-Aug-09 16:09:55

My ds will be 4 in november too, he has sli, and mild asd.
He has been going to his nursery since age 2, never had a problem with leaving him there , in fact he just goes in and forgets to say bye to me, he never looks back.
The first year there, he never played with the other kids, he has only started paralell play and limited interaction (mainly imitating).
He does a lot better in small groups, when the nursery isn't too busy.
He gets two 30 mins a week with 2 other kids of social games, language development activities.
He has an IEP for the staff to focus on his problems mainly speech, eye cotact, turn taking and sharing.
He has a visual timetable, and they uses makaton too.
DS is at nursery 15 hours a week.
I sometimes feel they just leave him to get on with playing alone most of the time, as he never brings anything home, no drawings, art,...

Mitchell81 Wed 26-Aug-09 16:11:41

When DD went to nursery she had a one to one assistant with her who job shared so she had a two people who looked after her. In case one was ever sick DD would be fine.

They did stay with her at all times, she is in a wheelchair so needed lots of assistance.

I know that they do like to give the child some independance so sometimes watch from a distance.

jasdox Wed 26-Aug-09 16:26:54

my ds is going to or should be receiving 1:1 for 1 h a day. In this time, I am expecting them to take him to a quiet area with a table and spend sometime doing games, cutting, picture cards etc, this not only builds his confidence about items around him in the nursery but it is interaction and communication. this is the technique used at portage which the nursery are now going to try and apply having seen one of his sessions (but since stopped).

Then with his IEPs - taking turns on 1:1 with peers, playing a game with peer that is adult lead to help him and help with his need for hugs (a bit full on!)

are you getting IEPs. have they said what they are doing with the 1:1

bubblagirl Wed 26-Aug-09 16:50:05

my ds had specialist pre school teacher who checked up every 3 mths he had 1-1 for 1 half hrs of 2 half hour day

they did small group play they did tasks with other children to help him learn there names etc

they shadowed him if playing in with other children and helped him interact with small group if not interacting they would help him call names and would get him to help them helping him use children's names

they also bought in area senco to help senco there for new ideas on how to help him they were really fab by the time ds finished there he was expressing his own needs calling children by there name still had off days with social interaction but was able to join in with support from 1-1 they did lots of things with him they had a now and next and would get him to help select what he wanted to do for the day

couldn't fault there efforts at all

bubblagirl Wed 26-Aug-09 16:52:08

he had IEP's too help with interaction help to learn childrens names etc , start off in small group then add more children with support , free time but if seen running they would lead him to adult led activity with support

Phoenix4725 Wed 26-Aug-09 18:45:24

ds had ft1-1 and was more of shadow but they did do some stuff ont think he had enough attention but he did enjoy it

brokenspacebar Wed 26-Aug-09 22:02:48

My ds is very similar to mysonben he has sli, and mild asd (asd traits, waiting for ados test)... he was at ms nursery attached to our local primary, he has just turned 5 and is now at school, P1, Scotland.

DS had 1 to 1, who sort of shadowed him, to encourage him to play but would try and let him get on with it, the thing is he found it much easier to communicate with an adult, they understood to make exceptions etc... ds did form a bond with a another boy who has an asd

"The first year there, he never played with the other kids, he has only started paralell play and limited interaction (mainly imitating).
He does a lot better in small groups, when the nursery isn't too busy.
He gets two 30 mins a week with 2 other kids of social games, language development activities" - my ds sees early years support teacher(same person in P1, which is good) for this, but really had very little interaction with other children, his choice - he wasn't mature enough to be any other way, imho.

"He has an IEP for the staff to focus on his problems mainly speech, eye cotact, turn taking and sharing.
He has a visual timetable" also the same for my ds.

DS was in pull up pants until he turned 4, he slowly got the hang of going to the loo, was very reluctant to go at all, so no accidents.

He started watching mr.maker online and then became very slowly more able to try craft, painting and some drawing, but this took until his last term really, the staff encouraged him but that is all they could do - I think his imagination wasn't there, so with hindsight I understand why he was reluctant. DS is still much happier at home, where we understand him easily, nursery was hard work, lots of noise, change etc - even though he improved massively over the 2 yrs. After every holiday they noticed how much he had improved.

meerkatsandkookaburras Fri 28-Aug-09 06:11:14

thanks so much everyone, sorry for delay had a sressful few days with ds. i think i need to speak to the senco and ds's keyworker/one to one and find out whats going on and if they can do some of these things with him as i feel like nothing is happening other than letting him run around and play as he wishes - ie not sticking at anything and just flitting all session!! must get more assertive as need to get this sorted plus another few issues there like the holiday club they run seem to have lost the ability to keep ds in a clean nappy and when ive picked him up hes been wet through bless him, i know its holiday club but th staff doing that work at the preschool term time so if senco or keyworker are busy or not there they should still do things whih after the holiday club experience makes me think they wont so got to address that too, oh im so going to have to get more self confidence and have some assertiveness!!

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 28-Aug-09 08:22:27


Is your DS under the care of a developmental paediatrician?. If not your GP should be referring you to such a person. Does he have any occupational therapy?.

Do you feel his needs are being met?.
I would be looking into applying for a Statement (I see you have been looking into this) for your DS asap from your LEA; infants school is a lot different from nursery and the structure is more formal. It can take around 6 months for a Statement to be set up so the sooner this process commences the better. I would apply for the Statement myself rather than let the preschool or SENCO do it, you know its been done then and you have the right of appeal in the event the LEA say no.

You will indeed need to grow a pair, you are your child's best - and only - advocate.

meerkatsandkookaburras Fri 28-Aug-09 13:46:44

simples!! my little one loves both meerkats and kookaburras - well in fact is rather obsessed by them lol

i feel his needs are just about being met most of the time, btu only just not in a way thats helping him or anything if that makes sense, like he just gets by doing his own thing there!

definately looking to apply for a statement now am sick of this whole system!!

he is under a paed, and was under ot but they discharged him as she left, im currently trying to get them to see him again as nothing has been achieved its merely easier for them to discharge him!!

grumpyoldeeyore Sun 30-Aug-09 20:42:01

where we are we would not get 1:1 for all hours without a statement they only give 50 or 75% hours without statement. You should have IEP with input from SALT / Ed Psych / specialist outreach autism teachers (we have teachers from special school who go out into mainstream and put in strategies etc). I would say you are concerned your child is not making adequate progress (see SEN Code of Practice about this) - if not had much external input eg Ed Psych etc ask for nursery to get this in and say you feel the IEP and 1:1 needs to be more targeted. My son moderate ASD has tasks with adult eg roll a ball back and forth - sharing / turn taking games with an adult and then progress to a child. Structured 1:1 eg songs, matching cards, SALT games eg encouraging requesting with words, choices etc. He spends some time each session 1:1 with adult mostly working on speech, turn taking but then throughout the session they have to model play eg use of sand toys and also encourage him to interact eg if he gets on the see-saw get another child to get on the other end + chasing games, tickles etc. Everything should be geared to communication / interaction / teaching play skills. Perhaps the staff need more training / support?

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